Anger Part 2

Well, since we were talking about anger, I thought I would share with you a little bit more about how to handle anger with yourself and with children.

Now, anger is usually not a very deeply rooted emotion.

Remember what my teacher, Hiromi, said about anger lasting only for 4 minutes and 30 seconds?

Sometimes though, we find that our anger lasts longer than that. That is often because we are investing in the anger and we want it to last longer.

So why do we purposely want it to last longer? That is because a lot of times, we want to cover the deeper emotions that are hiding behind the anger.

My teacher says we have to read beneath the surface emotions.

Eg… if a girl comes home late after partying, her father would get angry and scold her. “Why are you home so late? Do you know what time it is?”

On the surface, it may seem like the father is angry.. but if you look beneath the anger, you will see that the ‘scolding’ that she got was a result of care, concern, relief (now that she is home) and most importantly LOVE.

LOVE is usually the biggest motivating factor behind all emotions.

So, the next time you get angry at someone, that’s ok. It is probably because you love him or her. Or if someone is angry with you, that’s great. He or she LOVES YOU! But that doesn’t give you the right to act on your anger when you feel it okie :)

Sometimes though, you have to sit down and really discern between whether you are actually angry at someone or you are angry at yourself.

I have found that sometimes when I think I am angry at someone, if I really sit down, be peaceful and think about it, I am actually angry at myself for not being able to stop him/ help him / forgive him. So I guess.. I love myself.. hahaha ;)

For Ace… many times he is grumpy when I don’t spend enough time with him to play with him. I know he misses me and loves me very much.. so when he is grumpy and violent, I try to spend more time and give him more love… and when he receives what he wants, he is ok and back to that good natured little boy I love.

:)

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