Monday, August 30, 2010

Self Attack


Recently, Ace has been recently been displaying some very strange behaviour that simply baffles me.

When he does something "naughty" he will punish himself by going for quiet time (face the wall for 2 minutes) on his own without me even saying anything.

Or he will put out his hand and ask me to beat him for doing the wrong thing. I hit him gently once and with a serious and angry face, he would say, "One more time, hit harder!"

Or if not, he will hit himself and punish himself.

When I ask him why he is doing that, he says he is very angry with himself because he do the wrong thing and "Because I cannot remember to do the right thing. I am so naughty!"

Perhaps this is some sort of reminder that there is alot of self attack going on in my life...

Despite thinking that I am quite well read in the area of parenthood, this is really something new I have never came across before.

When he does that, I feel quite sorry for him and just would like to love him and not punish him at all.

At last resort, I go to my favourite POV teachers for help and asked my teacher, Hiromi Sensei what I can do to help Ace.

She suggested that take some time once a week with Ace and sit down and get him to tell me everything he thought he did wrong and apologize and suggested that we do meditation together.

She also suggested that I tell him the importance of recognizing mistakes and forgiving himself.

Because Hiromi sensei rarely replies in long sentences.. I wonder how exactly I should go about sharing about how important it is to recognize mistakes and forgive ourselves...

My mind came to a blank for a while.. (that is how bad I am at forgiving myself...:P )

And it is true that it is important to recognize mistakes. Because if we do not recognize a mistake, we would continue to make the mistake and we would continue to waste time, and do the same things and go through the same pain and same heartaches...

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