Vera Molested Me!

The other day when we were chatting, Ace told me that his classmate, Vera, molested her..

I instantly sat up straight and asked him what happened.. and so goes Ace's story..

"I was peeing in the toilet and then Vera came into the toilet and he touched my here.."(Pointing to the joint between his legs and his hips near his penis...) "And then the bunnies said "Vera, you molest Ace..." and then I told Vera to stop and she said, "Ok lor, I don't molest you lor.. and she stopped.."

So I asked him.. "Do you know what is the meaning of the word "molest"?

"Yes, it means to touch other people's private parts.."

"How did you know that?

"I learn by myself lah.." he said..

Anyway, I told Ace that if Vera does it again, he should tell his teacher. I told him the most important thing is also that he does not go and touch other people's private parts."Even if Vera touches you, you don't touch her back.. you go and tell your teacher, ok? Because private parts are called that because they are private.. like your private parts you only can show me, daddy and yourself.. you don't let other people see because they are private..."

He nodded his head...

Anyway, a fren asked me the other day what she should do if her two year old is very self conscious of his body and doesnt want anyone to see it.. and as a result dun like to bath.. I told her I don't have a solution to that because my son is very happy to show off his body.. when he is at home, he is always happy to go run around naked (cos I let him do that when he was young as per adviced by Dr Shichida's book).

Thankfully, the "private parts" explaination helps him understand that he cannot do that in public and show off to anyone in public.. it was also useful for me to explain to him how if someone other than me or Max asked to see his private part, he has to say "No!" and then come and tell me or daddy.. no matter who tat person is..

But leh, because of this, Ace thinks since I can see or touch his private parts, then he can touch mine as well and his favourite hobby is to lie down in my arms with his head on my breast and his hand gently carassing my breast (as per when he was still breastfeeding) and he would also give sudden kisses to my breast.. when I asked him why he did that and he says, "Because I love you mah..." And I have to remind him that he can only do that at home and not in public because people might think he is a rude boy if he do in public...

The other day when we were taking MRT in a very crowded train.. he had to stand next to me and so he lie his head on my tummy and suddenly, his hand came up and caressed my breast in his usual comfort seeking style.. everyone was staring at me and I didn't know wat to do! On one hand, I dun think there is anything wrong with my son seeking comfort and love in an uncomfortable environment but all the staring was not easy to bear...

After we alighted the MRT, I reminded him that he has to remember not to do this in public...

Just how do I explain this to him without curtailing his natural expression of love? I don't want him to think there is anything wrong with our sexual organs or loving them...and there is nothing wrong with even having sexual energy because it is an energy of life and it is attractive...

But this is an Asian society and such expressions of love.. even from a little boy are frowned upon i guess :) Anyway, I dun think Ace will do this for many more years as when they grow up, they are likely to become even more and more self conscious...

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