Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Very Strict Teacher Max

Recently, Max has started becoming " math tuition teacher" for Ace..

It started off with them doing their bedtime wrestling and Max started having Ace practice the 3 times tables and 4 timetables... Since he was spending so much time teaching Ace, I asked him to teach Ace what his teacher has set as a target instead:) Cos Ace needed to practice them and have them signed off...

So they started doing Doubles and Halves till 20....

Initially, it was very tough as Ace is a little slow when it comes to rote learning.. For me, I usually break it up into bits and have Ace learn it bit by bit.. And then we will have timed competitions to see if he could create a new record and learn it faster...

I guess I set very low standards as well about what he is capable of.. Most importantly, I hate it when I have to struggle and get him to learn via scoldings and screaming cos that was how I started off... with high expectations of how my son should be and how he should learn..

I have learnt over time that Ace is not stupid.. he just doesnt seem to respond too well to pressure and it is just easier to follow up on something that the teacher has taught than to teach him something new... He had me almost tearing my hair when I was trying to teach him the numbers 11-19 when he was much younger and then suddenly one day, he just GOT IT...


Anyway, Max was suddenly a super strict teacher.. he had Ace stand in the corner and recite the doubles and halves and then he would test him or have him read out from memorization... if Ace got one wrong, he got a swat from the ruler.. if he moved, he kenna scolding.. he is not allowed to sit down or rest till it got it all right....

It was terribly difficult for me to see this. When I tried to suggest something or intercept for Ace, Max got mad at me and snapped, "Don't interfere when I am teaching him..." which got me even more upset...

I am most upset when Ace started to cry because he had not been able to recite the halfs and doubles to perfection and keeps getting swats from the ruler.. granted, it was also his fault because he was not really paying attention and day dreaming.. not understanding YET that his dad meant business till he got a really hard swat.. But still, this really made me upset...


It was not that I was heart pain to see my son tortured... But rather, most importantly, it was because seeing this reminded me of my own childhood. My mother was a very strict parent... Many a times, she had forced me to study and if I din get something right, I had to do it again... and again.. till I got it right.. and there was once my mum even tied my legs to a chair because I kept wanting to wander off instead of sitting still to do my homework...

I can't say her methods were wrong... it got me to where I am today.. I have a degree (major in economics and japanese studies), was formerly a reporter.. have an intelligent mind and am a pretty good writer... I appreciate all that my mum has done for me was for my benefit now.. BUT I totally did not enjoy them and think there has to be a better way to learn! Because of the "trauma" i experienced from these methods.. I told myself that if I had children, I wouldnt do this to them!

So seeing Max do it to Ace really made me upset...  even though I must admit tat I am sometimes like my mother too when I am teaching Ace something...

But you see, the upside of these methods is that they work.. after a few days of gruelling from Max, Ace finally woke up his idea and he can now recite his doubles and halves perfectly...

So it is a constant struggle to not have expectations.. relax and just enjoy the learning ride and a desire for Ace to excel and do better and push him more... I never could decide which is better... If I was too relaxed, I felt guilty for not pushing him enough.. if I pushed him too hard, I want to tear out my hair, turn into female version of the incredible hulk and feel bad for making this experience unpleasant for him..

Anyway, once it got it right a few days later while revising his doubles and halves, Max asked Ace to work on his speed. As a demo, he asked Ace to test him and the Ace got got to "test his dad" and have tables turned is quite a different sight from the crying and whining Ace a few days before (check out the pics above)...

He kept trying to come up with different combinations.. hoping that he can outstmart his dad... 

But you know.. when you are already in your mid thirties, you would have done halves and doubles a thousand million times in your daily life such that you would have so much practice, there is just no way you can take more than 1 second to give the answer to whatever Ace asked.. hahaha:)


Anyway, it is sort of happy ending for all now.. UNTIL Max decides to move to the next project of teaching Ace something else new like the 6 or 7 timestables... I will keep my fingers crossed  that it will be a much more pleasant experience for everyone:)

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