A friend of ours recommended us a book called Bringing Up Bebe.. it is a book written by an American woman who is living in France and was fascinated with how French children:
- sit down with no running about at tables
- don't throw tantrums and the playgrounds
- sleep through the night by 4 mths old
- eat all the foods that most children do not like to eat...
- are happy to play by themselves while their parents hold conversations with their friends..
Considering that Ace did most of the above mentioned as well, I was curious about what are the things that I might have done "right" and how similar we are in our methods...
I found that somehow, I blur blur and blind chicken manage to pick the worm.. ;)
Apparently, French parents:
- BELIEVE that their children understand even when they are babies and that is what me and Max believe too.. that is why before we do anything, we will tell Ace.. when he was a bb and as a result, I think he always felt safe and knew what was going to happen. He never goes into seperation anxiety whenever we go out and remember to tell him beforehand that we are going out and what time we are coming back...
- French parents believe in the pause. They will wait and observe or get their children to learn to wait and as a result, the kids become really good at waiting. I actually did the PAUSE just because I felt my needs were as important as Ace's needs:) (And I will tell him that everyone in the family is considered part of the family and thus has the same rights.. so we only sometimes do what he likes.. sometimes, we will do what daddy likes and sometimes what mummy likes) wahahahahaha... But the result is tat Ace is patient most of the times and this allows me some respite when I have to bring him out with friends... and sometimes me and Max can choose to go to places we like.. with Ace tagging along:) VERY IMPORTANT when in Dubai where i have no free babysitting services available in the form or aunts, uncles or grandparents or godparents!:)
- French parents give specific rules and freedom within it. Somehow.. I dunno how, somehow, I have general guidelines what I want Ace to do.. he knows exactly what I expect and the rest of the time, within the guidelines he can do what he likes... so for eg, we go to a party, he is expected to sit down and finish his food.. once he finish. he can play with whoever or play whatever he likes:) I never realized this was something out of ordinary till parents come up to me and complimented Ace on it.. then I realized tat many parents were chasing their children with their foods... no wonder they were amazed that he can sit down and eat by himself quietly...
I havent finished the book yet but I told Max that not bad leh, we practise many good parenting habits by chance and turned out decent parents with decent son:)
Max was rather indignant..he said WE WERE good parents and that is why we practise good parenting habits and they did not come about by chance.. wahahahaha;)
Okie, that being said, that is true lah.. I actually formed my current parenting philosopy based on things I learnt from my mum, from observing my mother in law, from good advice from a very close friend who has older kids, from Dr Shichida's books, from my POV (psychology of vision) mentors, my systemic constellation workshop teachers.... and not to forget, the many good things i have learnt while I was running a network marketing business..
That being said, I am not that French either.. french women do not feed on demand and don't really breastfeed for long. I did... and I did it till Ace was a year old. But then I was quite relaxed and not anal about whether Ace also had powder milk along the way.. so it was a smooth and easy transition for me:)
French women also really watch what they eat after birth so that they regain their slim figures... Erm.. as for me? NU LI ZHONG.. nuff said.. whhahaahahahahaha:)
Anyway, if you have a kid and also curious about how French parent their kids, it makes quite an interesting read and is a good reference too:)
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