My teacher said everything that someone does is either an act of giving love or calling for love. I wonder if he is still feeling that I do not give him enough attention or love and STILL trying to get MORE attention from me. Little boy, want more attention can just tell me.. dun need to chut pattern or chut stunt....
The start of the story goes back to about two weeks ago. Ace came home from school with a row of blue black down his right shin an declared that he fell down in school that day. As he is usually clumsy and often falls and seemed ok, I merely asked if he hurt himself anywhere else..
He said NO... just his shin. And then he went on to complain about how his friends were all in front and did not see him fall and when he fell, only J came to his help, sat him down and offered to get him a drink. The other pupils just sniggered and laughed at him when they saw him fall.
I agreed his fellow schoolmates are not really very empathetic but told him that they were perhaps taken by surprise too. And ended by reminding him to be careful in future.
That is probably not enough attention from me..
So leh, fast forward a few days later... He chut another pattern....
He came home with a grazed knee... on the other leg!
Apparently, in order to walk to the bus stop with his friend, he took a bus home. When he alighted at the bus stop, there was a sound of rolling thunder and so he tried to run towards shelter and fell in the course of running.
It was quite a big patch.. so I had to bath him.. wash the wound for him.. help him change.. help him with this and that as it was painful to do most things.
Should be quite satisfied right.. since I did give him attention for the next two days... I also told him to just walk quickly in future.. OR just call me. I can fetch him with umbrella. Grr.. doesnt he understand that his phone was given to him for a reason???
But the story did not end there.
Next day, because of his injured knee, I told him that he can take a bus home instead of walk. He assured me that he knows how to take a bus as he had tried to do so few days ago.
That day, he was supposed to be home by 2pm. I waited till 2.15... no sound no color... 2.30, still no sound no colour... 2.45... and I was truly worried by then. I called his phone.. no one pick up.. I called his friend, only one picked up the call and he said Ace already went home.
He finally reached home at 2.50 or so...
"Where were you?" I asked him when he was home. "Did you go out with your friends or wat? Did you know I was very worried about you? Why are you home so late?" I asked him...
And he replied by crying.... "I was waiting in the bus stop..." And then he cried and cried.
Turned out that our good friend went to the bus stop, went on the bus, realized the EZLink card did not work and went back to sit at the bus stop. Next bus comes, he goes on the bus but the damaged card still does not work and so he went back to sitting at the bus stop.. he sat there for a long time.. din know wat to do...
He tried not to cry as i told him not to cry in public as it might attract bad people. He chanted in his heart and because he was so anxious.. he couldnt really think straight.. in the end, his emotions got better of him and he cried.
A kind aunty saw him crying and asked him what was wrong.. he explained tat his card was spoilt and he cannot go home and she gave him a dollar to take bus home.
Phew.. thank god for good Samaritans in Singapore! Aunty, 谢谢你了！
So I had to give Ace a prep talk.. I explained to him that in the face of problem, the most important thing is not to cry first.. we have to first take a deep breath and keep cool... just like the poster "Keep calm and carry on..." Only when we are cool and calm, we can carry on.. only when we are cool and calm, we can make good decisions....
And then, next step is chant to gohonzon in our hearts for wisdom to know what to do.
In this particular case, I have told him before if on his way home he meets any problem, just go straight back to school where he can ask teachers for help or call me from the general office.
Or, he can walk home from the bus stop. It is a slightly longer route but it works. Or just take his usual route home. Or borrow phone from his fren to call me (he forgot his phone that day).
And I also explained to him the next time this happens, he can also ask the bus driver for help. Cos bus driver might give him a free ride or tell him what is wrong with his card...
But leh, good for him to have this lesson also lah.. cos I noticed that he seemed more confidence to take bus by himself with or without his card after this incident.
You would think that is enough right... Since I realized he needed more attention from me, I tried to give him more attention.. chat with him more and make sure Max connects with him often.
BUT I WAS WRONG!
Fast forward to a few days later.. I was out with my friends and I received a call from the school.... the school admin informed me that Ace choked on water and felt that his throat was very painful.
She then passed the phone to Ace and was mumbling along as if he did not have energy... It was noisy and loud where I was.. and he was talking soft and mumbling along and so the only thing I managed to get out of the phone call was that he choked and his throat is painful and he wanted me to go fetch him..
I told him I was outside and he will have to wait.. so he said he will return to his remedial class. Since I cannot make out most of what he is saying, I thought I will just go to his school and I told him I will fetch him after remedial.
The way there, I was a little worried. In my experience, choking on water is not a big deal and it is normal to feel that your throat is uncomfortable for a while after you cough non stop.. but he made it seem so serious... and he did not offer me much info.. so I did not know what was it that was such a big deal that he needed me to go fetch him.
I reached his school and the school admin told me he has gone back to class. I thanked her and said I will come fetch him later.
She added, "I don't know why he was so upset about his throat.. he choked and kept saying his throat is hot and feeling funny.. that is why we called you. But when he is talking to me, he is perfectly ok.. but when he was on the phone with you.. he talked like he had no energy... hahahaha.."
Grrr..
Because I rushed to his school, I had an hour to burn before his class ends. I ended up sitting around at the void deck and having my eyes irritated by the smoke.
Then leh, I tried to go GIANT to walk walk and blow aircon.. But after walking 3 rounds, I decided I could no longer walk around in circles in the tiny supermarket named GIANT.. hahhahaha..
And I decided to go sit down and coffeeshop... But as I needed to go toilet and I already feel like my bladder is bursting.. I did the next best thing.. I thick skin thick skin.. sat down there and watched TV without ordering anything till time was up..
And then leh, I went back to fetch him.
Guess what? someone's voice is back to normal!
And while we were walking home, he complained to me that because of his throat, he talked softly and so his teacher scolded him for having a bad attitude towards learning (I clapped in my heart when I heard tat lor hhahahaa)
I explained to hi that choking on water and coughing is a pretty common experience that most people would have had... his teacher included... so everyone knows tat if that happened, after a while your throat will be ok already and so this is no big deal.. at least not big enough to be treated "special" and to be given leeway... And so, I concluded that he is in no position to blame his teacher as this is really not a big thing!
Sigh...
That night, I gave him a longer hug before his bed time.. hoping that that will fulfill his need for more attention and more love... and hope that this will be THE END of it.
But no...
The next day, I kenna a call again from an unknown number. When I picked up the call, it was our good friend.
Our conversation went something like this....
Ace: Mummy, I am at the gate...
Me: What gate? You at the security gate?
Ace: No, I am at the gate lah...
Me: What gate? At the lobby? Or you at the gate next to the bus stop? Where are you?
Ace: No, I am at the gate!
Me: What gate?
Ace: I am at the school gate lah! (screaming at me)
Me: You at school gate, call me for wat?
Ace: I fell down.. bleed alot...
Me: So? You walk home lah...
Ace: I cannot walk fast....
Me: So you want me to fetch you lah?
Ace: Yeah...
Me: Grrrr.... Ok, you wait there.. I come now...
When I finally saw him.. he had this white patch over the same area where he injured himself. He told me he fell and injured the same injury and there was alot of blood but his teacher already put medication over it...
And then we walked to the bus stop to take bus home together.
I told him that he doesnt really need to do all these for me to pick him. I noticed that lately he has been finding all sorts of excuses to for me to go to school and fetch him. I told him he just needed to ask and tell me nicely and I will pick him. dun need to hurt himself.. dun need to fall down or choke at all....
And then I also told him I don't appreciate being screamed at when he was the one who is not clear about what he wants. Telephone skills 101... when you call someone, you need to tell them what is the purpose of the call. It has to be a one liner that gives people an idea of what this call is about... just like the composition TITLE.... He cannot call me and give me a "coded message" and expect me to know what is it he wants from me. He was not clear, he was not precise and that was why I asked him for more details because I dont know what he wants. But when I asked for more details, he screamed at me.. and so that is very wrong.. cos he was the one who did not provide enough details..
So Ace apologized to me...
I told him that his conversation is the same as the following example. For example I wanted him to guess a riddle and the answer of this riddle is APPLE. I was supposed to give him a clue and the clue I gave him is "It is a tree..." And then when he asked for more clues... I repeat "It is a tree lah..." And then scream at him.. how will he feel...
He said he understands now and promised me he will not do it again.
And then when we reached home and he took out the white patch over his knee.. wah lau eh, he just torn some skin on the injury.. little bit only... dunno he make it such a big deal for what reason... SIGH...
But leh, I think he finally understands the message I am sending him about not needing to get into trouble for me to go fetch him or support him for anything... Cos when Ace is feeling and supported and loved, he will very often come and hug me and tell me that he loves me... and he has been doing that frequently this last two days.
Hope the rest of the year is without all these drama man....
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