I think all parents will ever have the experience of losing their child. And it is possibly one of the worst feelings in the world.
Blur sotong like me lost Ace a few times. Always thankful when I find him in the end:) Hahaha... But as a result, had to come up with creative ideas to help him along when he was younger.. Etc I will tell him to stay where he is and shout out loud "Mummy, where are you?" and tell me if he wants to wander off to somewhere where I cannot see him.
As Ace is older now, the chance of him getting lost is smaller right? Well, actually wrong:) hahahaa..
The other day, I signed Ace up for some extra music lessons offered by his guitar school. Max says he can send Ace there after tuition and so they made arrangements for Max to pick him at tuition centre.
Alas, my blur son... though I reminded him the night before, I forgot to remind him just before he went for tuition. And so, he clean forgot that he had to wait for his dad.
In addition to that, we confiscated his iphone and he has to use is laokokkok phone.. and because he says the nokia phone makes him feel sad, cos it reminds him of his iphone that is confiscated, he refuses to carry the phone around.
So, his dad reached the tuition centre on the dot but they were not done yet. So he went for a walk... he came back, and Ace was not there anymore. He called him but there was no reply. He tried to walk around the area and walk around the reservior.. he worked out a storm in his mind and sweated like crazy and he couldnt call me because I was at Yoga...
When he finally got me, he was a mess and screamed and shouted. I think Max was overwhelmed by the feelings of loss and perhaps guilt ... you know lah.. asian parents, simi sai also think is their fault one...
He said he is very upset and that he will whack Ace when he sees him and warned me not to interfere.
I put down the phone, took a deep breath... and think. THe highest possibility is that his dad missed him because he forgot he had to wait.. so I looked at my watch.. OK, should be almost home. I asked Max to make his way home to find Ace. Meanwhile I called the tuition to check if he went home by himself and exactly what time he left.
Finally, he was found. :) True enough, like I thought, he had gone home cos he forgot..
Also of course, when his dad saw him, the relieve that washed over his entire body turned all his anger into tears... And so, they still went for lunch and also went for the lesson.
I think though, that this triggered Max's "i am a bad daddy" belief and he actually posted on FB about what a bad father he is... (he also messaged me offline some messages related to that.)
When I had a chance to talk to Ace though, I told him that he has to bring the phone whether he misses his iphone or not. That is because we depend on him for being responsible so we can find him and losing our children is the worst feeling in the world.
Also, I told him that his dad really loves him very much and that this incident seems to have big impact on him and make him feel very bad for being a lousy father. I told Ace that though children have to reminded that they are being loved unconditionally. Parents also need that too from time to time. So please tell Daddy he is sorry for making him worried... I asked him to hug his father and tell his dad "I love you" because tat will be helpful for daddy and he said ok.
Then I went out lor. When I returned home, I asked him if he did all of the above and he said yes. And then no more is said about that.
Hopefully this is last time we will LOSE him:)
Anyway, I told Ace that I am going back to work and he is starting secondary school next year. I will very much like to NOT use confiscating phone as a way to help him study or as a way to punish him cos I really prefer that he has a smartphone too. Can he please learn to control himself and do what he has to do instead of having me reminding him this and that and him just taking the attitude of being lazy?
He said he will and we hooked our fingers.
"But mummy, I will forget one. Can you remind me when I forget?" He asked. So I said I will. Sigh... when can he remember without me reminding him leh? ;)
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