It's OK

I think that children usually will follow what the adults do and I am so thankful that I have many many great friends who show excellent example for Ace.

Sometimes Ace will play with my stuff and Max's stuff and he would somehow spoil it or crack it or tear it or something.. so we always tell him, "It's ok Ace.. and then explain to him how we could replace it..."

Now, when he does that to other people, like my many wonderful friends, they are also very quick to say, "It's ok..." eg, last year, Ace went to Josephine's house and broke a christmas present that Eddie gave to her.. I felt so paiseh then but Jo my fren just said, "It's ok Ace, dun worry about it..."

Eddie who was there as well also was more concerned about whether Ace was hurt and whether he was shocked...

So having those very good examples... usually when people spoil things, he would say, "It's ok.."

Sometimes he goes into the "orh.. you spoilt this..." but mostly he does a "it's ok.."

The other day, Daddy did not have his dinner and wanted to cook some noodles. Because he made this decision at Waipo's house, we brought an egg from Waipo's house home as there were no eggs in our house.

Because Ace kept hovering around the egg in the kitchen, in the end, I decided to take it out of the plastic bag and put it furthur away from him so that he cannot reach it. Alas, after a while, the egg for some unknown reason, rolled off my kitchen counter and dropped onto the floor with a resounding crack.

The moment we both heard the sound of the egg dropping, Ace ran inside the kitchen and told me, "It's ok.. nevermind, ok Mummy? Tommorrow I buy again for you.. then no more spoil already.... It's ok ok...."

Actually, tat is Daddy's egg so I wasn't really upset. But I think it is still very nice to have him say that to me :) How nice if everything we do wrong in the world, there are people to tell us it is ok to make mistakes...

But I guess, most important though is not what other people tell us... it is what we tell ourselves. When you make a mistake, do you hold on to the guilt and punish yourself and the people around you again and again and again and again???

Or do you give yourself a pat on the shoulder and say, "It's ok. I will do better next time..." and then forgive yourself?

I've seen this happen to many people around me and I guess it is a reflection of how I think:
- the body is weak and they lose the baby- It's my fault
- their business partner slacks and has no results- It's my fault
- their child does something wrong- It's my fault
- someone dies in the family or someone they love dies- It's my fault

The list goes on.... if you see those people who are quick to defend, get upset easily and are usually very judgemental... these are really guilty people whose favourite phrase is "it's my fault and I deserve hell". If you see them, just send love to them and forgive them for being so anal. They just didn't know how to.. or am not ready to have the courage to do forgiveness instead.

Anyway, Ace.. if you should see this later on in your life... my point is this. Take responsibility for all that is happening in your life. Don't blame other people. Know that you have it because you want it... everything you have in your life is because you value it... but dun waste time blaming yourself and building an altar for your mistakes.. if you do, you start to play the vicious cyclical game of guilt and you will end up making not just you but all the people you love who love you around you very unhappy.. ok?

Meanwhile, Mummy will jia you to get out of this!

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