Friday, May 20, 2011

Daddy and Son Telepathy


I think Ace has got telepathy with Max.... He seemed to be able to feel his dad's feelings...

Anyway, the story started from some time back when I went to the Parent Teacher meeting in Ace's school and the feedback for both the Chinese and English tutors are the same.... that my son has a few traits. These traits are consistent with how he behaves at home as well...

1) Ace is always seemingly in a world of his own during lessons. He always seems to be in his own world such that whenever you want to give him instructions, you need to repeat the same instruction a few times before he even realizes you are talking to him... his teacher said tat there was once because he drifted off and she made him stand up... after standing for 5 minutes, she called his name a few times and he went, "huh?" And the teacher asked him if he realized he was being punished for dreaming and he then realized he was standing and asked, "Why am I standing, can I sit down?" when he has already been standing for 5 minutes.... so you always need to engage his attention and bring his spirit back first before you can tell him wat to do and wat you want...

2) Interestingly, he always looks like he is in a far far away in another place when the teacher is teaching him and sometimes even frowns. So they thought he was not paying attention but when they tested, him, he seems to know the answer most of the time... when they asked him what he is thinking about, he would always say he is missing his daddy and thinking about his daddy.. if he is looking particularly upset tat day, he will even request his teacher to call me to tell me that he is missing his daddy.... but sometimes when they ask him what is bugging him, he just shrugs and refuses to tell them anything..

3) He can do his work well and fast and on good days, he is the first person to be able to hand up his work. However, on bad days, he will take more than an hour just to do one page of homework... I am not sure wat is the factor that creates the difference.. but if he wants to and is willing to concentrate, Ace pics up things with the snap of a finger... but leh, if he is not in the mood.. even if you sat beside him and patiently explained for 3 hours, he will still not be able to remember or understand what you taught him...

Generally though, his teachers say tat Ace is someone who is very creative. Perhaps it is because he is so creative that he tends to let his thoughts take him away from the present moment.. and they also said that he is very popular.. getting on famously with all his friends such that when other parents come for teacher parent meeting, they ask me the teacher who is Ace Chua as the always go home and Ace this Ace that.. hahaha... (the irony is tat my son says he has not friends)
And then leh, I also told Max that the other day, I was suddenly feeling this strong negative emotion and felt really upset.. Ace was so helpful in that he kept coming to me and telling me that he loves me and kept giving me hugs... the next day when I was better, I thanked Ace for his kind concern... and told him his love was so helpful for me and so he asked me what i was upset about.. i shared with him that I was hit by insecurity and was worrying and feeling upset about why daddy did not want to come back to Singapore.. did it mean that daddy does not love me or like me anymore... and to which Ace actually replied, "Yeah, everyone thinks the same way... i also think about this alot when I am in school..."

So when i told Max about this, I think he felt quite lousy after he heard it and he made comment about it on FB. USually I will tell Ace wat I read about his daddy on FB but this time round, I somehow did not have a chance to tell him that his daddy is upset.. but still, I think, somehow he sensed it...

So last night before we slept, my son told me he wants to email his dad.. and so I helped him type an email to be sent to his dad and his sweet email goes like this:

I love u, I really miss u very much. I love u very very very much. are u unhappy? It's ok if u miss me, if u cry, it's ok for u..

The only thing to do to faster come back is to pray. You must pray to gohonzon. The gohonzon not here u still can pray.

I love you. :) I am the happiest person and I know u are sad so I am here to save u like the superman in the underwear...

I love u very very very very very very much and I miss u too n I am not afraid of a crocodile cos I am like wu Fu (tv character from a channel 8 drama).. Dream ( wufu's gf) is my girlfriend n Tanya is Dream. Do u know who is Leibao xiong di ( the bad guy in the show)? Net net n gong gong are leibao xiongdi.. Haha.. U are wufu's daddy..

Do u miss me alot? U can tell me if ur heart broken like the 玻璃 (glass) sui like dat..

I love you..I really love u very much.. I am going to sing a song for u in email..

*sings*
I miss u very much n I know u are the bestest people for me..
I love u..u are my bestest daddy...
Dum dum dum dum dum dah...
I love u, u love me, we are happy family, we learn things together..
I really miss u, dun u miss me? Dadada...
I looooooove youuuu....
I miss yoooou...
whenever I walk I always miss u...oh...
I love u... I finally know u are my bestest daddy....
U scold me is because u love me...
I am so sorry sorry sorry...ooooooh, I love u in my heart..
I am so sorry please forgive meeee....
Oooooh I miss u sooooo much.
I m really sorry...I love u...
Now I know are my bestest daddy...
dum dum dum dah... I love you..

Wakau, my fingers cramp from typing his song and email..:)

Hahaha..

Anyway, I am very glad my son is very emotionally mature and glad tat most of the things I share with him and taught him, he remembers.. cos most of wat is written in the email are things I have shared with him before:)

PS: My many different friends and teachers gave me some good advice.. and since it is useful parenting advice.. shall share with you here...


Learning Exercises (from my teacher and friend, Monika):



  1. Yellow Paper: Use Yellow Paper when you are getting your child to practice writing, the yellow colour will help them concentrate better.

  2. The infinity sign: Write the infinity sign (it looks like a number 8 sleeping) starting from the middle and move upwards to your right to start. Write this again and again using pen and (yellow) paper for one or two minutes before any learning.

  3. Kinesiology exercise: Stand up and raise your right leg by bending your right knee up (like doing hentataki march) and use your left hand to touch your knee. Put your right leg down and raise the left leg in the same manner while using your right hand to touch your left knee when your legs are raise to a ninety degree angle.. repeat for 2-3 minutes before learning to help memory and concentration..

Bonding, Family Intimacy Exercises (From my teachers and friends, Chuck and Lency; Chuck is a trained psychologist and Lency has had lots of experience working with children):



  1. Joining of light: Asked Ace to go back to the time when daddy was still in Singapore and imagine a golden light coming out from his heart and imagine daddy standing at the other end with golden light coming out from his heart and let these two lights connect.. This is so that whenever Ace is thinking about his daddy, he willl always feel connected to his daddy.

  2. Joining with your child: This is a good exercise to melt away all the unpleasant emotions that may have been created in the day to cause a distance between parent and child. You can join your child energetically till you feel intimacy and oneness with them. You can do this every night - not looking into his eyes, but holding him, even after he has gone to sleep, so that he feels secure. You could hold him and join with him and your husband at the same time, until you feel the three of you together in an embrace of intimacy.
    PS: This exercise is very good lor.. after he did it, Ace woke up next day by himself and got ready for school quickly and reacted promptly to all instructions.. hahaha

PPS: Thanks to many other mummy friends who gave suggestions and comfort too...


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