In the morning, I woke up early and went for a jog.. so because of this, when my son woke, I was already not around, he got upset and called me.. but because he was already late for school, my grandma pressed the cradle midway in our conversation and got really upset...
My mum wanting to pacify him asked Zeng Popo to say sorry to him but she was not willing and grumbled instead, "I dun want to say sorry, why must I say sorry... sorry, sorry stupid!" Unfortunately, my son overheard this and he got even more upset...
And so I had a session of heart to heart talk with him..
I first asked him what had happened and if he was angry with Zhen Popo...
And then he told me he is very upset because Zhen Popo scolded him Ben Dan.. "How can she scold me this word?" he asked me..
I agreed that she shouldnt have said that and told him that Zeng Popo is very old liao.. "So as she is our elder, can you just forgive her immediately whenever she does something wrong?"
"Yes.."Ace agreed and went on to tell me how angry he was that she scolded him instead of apologizing... so I had to explain to Ace that Zeng Popo is not right is saying that to him.. but if he were to understand her.. old people tend to be grumpy.. that is because Zeng Popo is mostly at home and nothing to do.. and she also does not like to see him cry.. plus when pple are old, they tend to have lots of aches here and there tat makes them even more grumpy....
And then i reminded Ace how much she loves him and how much she has done for him as she always baths him, wakes him up, prepares his uniform, packs his bag, refills his water bottle...
And so i asked again if he can forgive Zhen Popo immediately whenever something like that happens again..
I also shared with him a good way to resolve the issue when it happens again. I explained to Ace that when we are angry, everything we say is not in integrity and does not help matters.. so leh, a good way is for him to feel his anger and burn it away first.. afterward, he can nicely tell Zeng Popo how what she did made him sad... because he is saying it nicely without attack, she will likely listen and respond cordially, so everyone can be happy...
"Ok, " and then he went silent for a while.. after about a minute of thinking, he told me, "I know now that Zeng Popo is a good person and I am such a bad person for always shouting at her... she is good and I am bad... she wins and I lost..."
So I had to explain tat the purpose of my discussion with him is not so as to blame him or scold him. It is just to explain to him what happens. In a fight, no one is more right or more wrong or more good or more bad than the other.... I just wanted to share what I did so that if he chose to reach out to Zeng Popo and our family will be happier....
I gave him an example of how if we were in a fight and no one wanted to make up, our family will be unhappy but if one person remembers the love of the other person and tries to make up, all will be good and the family will be happy again...
I also explained to him that in a family, we help each other out. Zeng Popo helps him with his school stuff and if he wants, he can help her by hugging her, telling her jokes to make her happy, saying thank you to her whenever she helps him....
At this point, my good son says he wants to drink water and asked if I could pour some water for him.. and while I was out pouring water, he walked over to my grandma's bed and apologized at 1am in the morning for shouting at Zeng Popo and gave Zeng Popo a hug... hahahha..
I gave him a hug and told him I am very proud that he is quick to apply what he has learnt.. what a wonderful little boy!
Previous Post: Who Will You Miss?
No comments:
Post a Comment