Scolding, Scolding, Scolding

My friends were going oooh and aaah over my previous post and saying what a good little boy Ace is..

Interestingly, today's post is about what a bad little boy Ace is:) wahahahaha....

About a week back, Ace was going through "a phase" where he just REFUSED to do what we tell him to and refused to listen to us totally. As a result, for a few days,  I became a monster mummy. Not that I particulary like that role very much... but it just happened so that I had to spend those few days scolding Ace NON STOP:(

For the longest time, we told him that he shouldnt play with water in the toilet because it will:
1) make the toilet wet and damp and gives it a funny smell since it is supposed to be a dry toilet..
2) make the toilet floor slippery and someone might fall
3) everytime he wets the toilet.. ah sum (sometimes me, sometimes Max) will have to clean up after him.

Then leh, one fine night.. i stepped into the toilet only to find puddles on the floor.. someone was so engrossed in playing he did not get to the toilet on time and spilled few drops of urine on the floor and what does he do?

Instead of wiping it dry, he hoses the toilet floor to CLEAN IT UP!

So he kenna big scolding from his daddy.. which made me even more mad. Because I hate it when ace doesnt something stupid and makes other people scold him. I dun mind him doing that thing so much.. but i mind him getting scolded... I just get very upset whenever he is scolded.. strangely, not at the pple who scold him but at Ace.. it makes me also feel like scolding him too.. and i have told him this before..

Anyway, he cry and cry and kenna punishment (no play time tomorrow)  liao right...

You would think he would learn his lesson right?

No, our good friend second night go and play with water while bathing and make the whole toilet wet again!:) He literally created a "PONDING SITUATION" within the bathroom!
So he kenna punishment of no playtime again....

After two days of punishment, even the most CHI DUN people will learn their lesson right? Nope, not this one.. third night, I asked him to go and brush his teeth.. after half and hour in the toilet, I wondering what is happening.. why din I hear any sounds of him gurgling.. I tiptoe into the toilet and what do i see? I see our good friend playing with water at the basin!

Because we usually read storybook and have chats before he goes to bed, if he spends 30 min playing with water, we have 30 min less to do that. I told him since he likes to waste time, then ok, I will let him waste time.. I made him face the wall for 30 min.. same amount of time as the time he wasted and asked him to think what he could have done in the time he wasted...

And instead of standing up, hands at my waist with a finger pointing at him like a teapot (which was interestingly the posture I adopted for the last few scoldings he kenna from me), I sat down at eye level with him and asked him if he understood why i punished him and why I punished him this way.

I explained to him that time is precious and there is a time for everything. There is time for play and time for brushing teeth and time to work hard too and if we do the right thing at the right time, we will enjoy a great and abundant life. If we do not follow the right time and do the right things at the right time or if we end up wasting time, we may end up with a boring life with nothing to show for it and I asked him what sort of life he wants to have. If he wants to have a great life, then from young, he has to learn to do the right thing at the right time. I am not against him playing but just before bedtime on a school day is not the right time for it because that was time to brush teeth.. and if he uses it to play for 30 min, it will eat into his story time with me.

I also explained to him that I do not really enjoy scolding him and that I was really looking forward to spending good quality time reading and chatting with him since we spent the last two nights without story time either because of his  punishment or because we came home late.. so i am also sorely disappointed that he felt that playing was much more important than our time together.

Then of cos, I gave him some cuddles and reminded him that I loved him no matter what. And then since he is in a good mood, I repeated about how when I ask him to do something, I always have in mind that it will do him good. And often, I try to explain to him why I ask him to do what I did... If I ask him to do somthing and he  doesnt understand why he should do it, he should ask me. If i tell him something and he doesnt listen to me, it tells me that he either does not trust me or that he just really wants to annoy me. To my knowledge, I have always done my best not to let him down so I asked him if he would be willing to choose to trust me and the experience I have had... and he said he would and so I reminded him to listen to me because in many instances when he does, I have saved him time and brought him to a good end result... (And of cos i named those instances to drill this message in.. wahahahaha)

And then we had a short chat and it was time for him to sleep...

That seemed to have done the trick. Third day.. he was ok already... he would do sweet things like ask me to help him scratch his back and then when I did.. he told me, "Because you did something nice for me, in return, I will also do something nice for you... I will give you hugs and kisses..." and then he hugged and kissed me tight.. which brought a smile to my face...

Since then, he has been rather GUAI liao.. wahahahah:)

Thank god that it was really just a phase... phew....

Anyway, i have learnt that when our children act up suddenly, always i think there are a few areas we as parents can look into but often tend to neglect...

1. Are our children crying for help? did something happen to them in school or something we were not aware is bothering them? Children dun act up for no good reason. A good talk with them to resolve the issue helps.
2. Another possible thing is that they could be feeding off our emotions as parents. Children tend to want to help their parents out by taking over their emotions sometimes. Is there something we are upset about or are we upset about our partner? If there is, resolve it before the children pick it up.
3. Are our children crying for love and attention? Sometimes, our children may just need to feel bonded to us and need our love or attention.. that is why they misbehave... to get our attention!:) Not the best of strategies but very often, the act of just loving them and hugging them and telling them that we love them no matter what can set things right again:)

Jia you, mummies and daddies!:) Sometimes we just need reminders to know that we are not alone and our children are really considered very guai already:) wahahahah:)

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