So Cute!

I like children with fringe in their hairsyles.

Whenever I see little boys or little girls with straight fringe falling down on their foreheads, I would think to myself, "So cute!"

However, Ace hair in front is a little wavy and most of the time it is swept to one side.

The other day, for some unknown reason, it was all swept to the front and very straight. So I quickly took some pictures.

So cute and so handsome right?!

Previous Post: Full Time Motherhood

Full Time Motherhood

Since Max left, I have really become a full time mother.

In the past, I really had a very good life. I would sleep till 10 or 11 am in the morning and then wake. By then, Ace would already have bathed, taken his breakfast and done a whole lot of other things. I would then drink my fruit juice and then I would go happily type my emails, surf my net while my mum would entertain Ace Chua.

And then by 12noon, I would come out to the living room, play with Ace a little bit, and then by 12.30, put him in a chair and get Lao ma to feed him.

During lunch, I get to go to my room again and do my own stuff and by the time I am done, Ace has just finished his lunch.

Then I would play with him for about an hour and put him to bed and I am left with more time during his snooze.

By the time he wakes, it would be about 5pm. Usually by then, he is happy to entertain himself or if not, Daddy will be back home to play with him and by 6pm, I am out of the house. By the time I come back, he is either asleep or Max will rock him to sleep.

Since Max left, life has been really quite tough.

Waipo's school concert is coming so for the whole of this month, she will be working full day shifts which means that she needs to leave for work at 9am everyday and since Waigong is the one sending her to work, whether I like it or not, I have to wake up at 9am every day.

While that may not seem early to you, try matching it with a 4am sleeping schedule (that is wat time I usually sleep now that Max is in the middle east) and you can imagine how tortorous it must be.

Now, instead of a relaxed day of doing my own stuff and being a mother when I got the time, I need to be a mother ALL the time.

Every morning, at 8plus, Ah Yee will walk in and out of my room and as Ace is quite a light sleeper, he will wake by then and ask for milk. Usually, he will go to Waigong for milk.. BUT not before he wakes me for a short while first and I am disturbed from my beauty sleep.

After that, I will try to fall back into lalaland because I am so tired. Sometimes Ace will do his own stuff, sometimes he will come and bug me and just as I am about to fall asleep, Waipo will say, "Wake up ah, we going off and Ace is awake."

And then I will switch on the TV an sit there and watch sesame street with him. If I am really tired, I lie on the sofa, wasted and he will come and jump up and down on my body. And because I am afraid he will fall off, I cannot close my eyes for longer than 3 seconds and have to be constantly alert to protect my body (he jumps really hard on your tummy and breasts and that's really painful) and to pull him in case he loses balance and falls.

By about 10am, Waigong will reach home and then I will get off the sofa, go wash up, drink my juice and after that, it is non stop mummy duty.

From 10-12.30pm when he has lunch, I need to keep playing with him or watch TV with him. I cannot go out of the room or he will cry... and sometimes he has his own idea of wat to play. "Mama, zhou..." He holds my hand and pulls me along.. "Throw ball..."

Or on another day, it may be, "Mama... shui jiao.." But he just wants me to play pillow fight with him.

Or maybe, it is going to the computer and watching that Thomas the Train or that Hi-5 clip for 5000 times until I can sing the WHOLE DAM SONG.

By 11am, usually I am really really tired. Especially the previous night was a 4am night and I would lie on the sofa and close my eyes and I just switch on the tv and let him do whatever he likes because I am so tired I just cannot move.

And even Indinine and VPlus dun help... I am so tired I sometimes wonder if I am pregnant again (which is not possible since yi ma just visited me).

I would fall into zombie land and by 1.30-2pm, I will start to be awake again. Then I will have to rock him to sleep.

During this nap time, I quickly try to catch another nap and then by 5pm, I am out at office. Travelling in tiring but to cut cost a little, I usually take cab there but take MRT home.

By the time I reach home at 10 plus 11, I still have to listen to my mum complain about what Ace did when i was not around...

And by 12, my mum still start to nag me to bring Ace to sleep and I would be so torn cos his dad usually logs on at this time. Should I let them talk to each other or should I put Ace to sleep. Doesnt help that there was alot of hiccups for the set up of skype and the network is not stable.

Come 12plus, Waipo will nag and ask me why I never let Ace sleep and repeat that children who sleep late will become stupid. And then, I will go to bed with Ace. And I have to lie there and wait for Ace to fall asleep and after that, go back to login and see if I can talk to max somemore...

The next day, the cycle repeats...

Shagged ah!

PS: Many thanks to many who read my blog and sent me encouraging SMS/msg like GH, HJ, Annie, WL and Ganma SL... Many thanks, I will jia you! :P

Previous Post: Beat Baby

Beat Baby

Ever since Daddy left for Bahrain, Ace has been hitting other people.

Whenever he is upset or angry or grumpy, he will hit other people. Usually, the poor, innocent victim is "Lao Ma"...

He hits laoma so often and so hard that now when Laoma sees him, she will try to siam him in case he hits her. What exasperates me further is that when I try to stop him and explain to him it is not right to hit people and ask him to do the three step system of:

1. Say sorry to laoma
2. Sayang laoma
3. Hug, hug laoma and tell her "I still love you..."

Most of the time, when he gets to step two.. in the midst of his sayang and stroking her, he will start hitting her again.

To make things worse, he starts to also hit Popo, hit me, hit Ah Yee, hit Waigong... That day he even hit Nainai and Yeye... Sometimes he also goes and pinch Waigong till the finger nail marks will scratch Waigong's skin.

Through it all, Ah Net is the only one who WAS safe. That is... until that day when he took out the stool and aimed it at Net Net's head. The next day, he took out the stool and slammed it at Waigong's head.

I am already at my wit's end.

I tried talking to him and explaining to him that it is wrong to hit people. It did not work. He would say OK OK OK OK.. high five with me and then continue to hit people.

I tried asking him about why he wants to hit people, he just says, xx angry. Sometimes it is Papa, sometimes it is Mama.. sometimes it is the person he hits.

I tried hitting him. It did not work. The worst thing is that I know that hitting him doesn't work at all but it was really at last resort that I did it because i don't know what else I can do anymore.

Talking to other mummies for advice also did not help as even though I carried out all their advice, Ace will get a little better and resume his violence.

The last straw came when Ace went to a meeting with Waipo and went to hit another one year old baby three times.

That made Waipo very embarrassed and upset and in the end, not only did Ace receive a beating from her, poor me also kenna a very long and winded scolding and therefore, I am in a super bad mood now.

I told Waipo, "If you want to cane him, go ahead. I already gave you the permission because I also dunno what else I can do. I won't blame you for it. But dun try to ask me to teach him or discipline him the way you want to. If you want to hit him, do it yourself, dun FORCE me to do what you want to do..."

I am really pissed lor. I am not Ace leh. I am just his mother. Just because of that, I have to be responsible because he hits other people? And it is not as if I did not try to stop him but I just havent found out a good way to do so. Can't she cut me some slack? I am also trying my VERY VERY BEST already lor. Does it mean that if I beat Ace to death then she will be happy?

Then waipo start to complain, "What happens when he goes into the outside world? Doesn't he need to learn to relate to people? It is so competitive outside.. blah blah blah..."

I really dunno what is the big deal. If he goes outside and hits other people, I am sure they also not stupid and will hit him back.. and then he will understand the cause and effect mah... and what is such a big deal right.. he would not hit people forever wat.. at least I am sure this is just a phase that he goes through...

HAI... really dunno wat to do with this baby. My infinite patience towards this matter is running very thin... last resort, I told him if he hits other people, I will hit him.. But I feel guilty after that because somehow I feel that that is not the right approach...

I also feel bad because in POV, we are told that children are our sub concious mind. It makes me wonder if there is alot of anger or aggression in me that I have suppressed and makes me think like, "Oh gosh, I am a bad person!"

This is really very very demoralizing. Feel like a failure as a mum and also feel really moody. I think I will raise my hands and ask about this during Hanxuan's POV.

I wish I could tie Ace up so that he cannot move. Or maybe let him watch 24hrs of BARNEY a day in the high chair. Then he would not have a chance to hit anyone and I can enjoy my peace..

Higher mind ah higher mind, what are you trying to ask me to heal?

Previous Post: Mama, Hungry!

Mama, Hungry!

I think Ace is growing now....

Probably growing alot. I think by the time Daddy comes back, he will realize that Ace is much much taller.

That's because Ace has been having a really good appetite for the last few days.

After he finished his lunch, which was a really really huge bowl of porridge, he came to me and told me, "Mama, hungry!" And then he started asking for food, for biscuits...etc.

But for fear that he would get too full and because if he doesnt get food when he is grumpy he will turn cranky, I did something out of ordinary. I passed him a piece of fruit fright after a meal.

And he had such a good time chewing on the prune. It looked almost like some prune ad ;) haha.. Makes me want to reach for a prune now as well... ;)

Previous Post: Ace-thoven

Ace-thoven

World famous singer, composer and lyricist, Ace-thoven , composed his first song called, “Wo yao ice cream!”

I had just returned home at 5.30am after a massive intensive san ba session with Jez Ah Ma. Turned out that because Ace did not see me when he reached home tat day, he woke at 5am and waited for me to come home.

The moment he saw me, he started to become very animated and started talking to me excitedly and telling me what happened when he went over to Nai Nai’s place to stay.

And suddenly, he just started singing… Dun ask me how the tune goes.. cos I dun remember. What I do remember is that the lyrics are very simple and straight to the point.

‘Wo yao ice cream!”. (I want ice cream)
‘Wo yao ice cream!”.
‘Wo yao ice creeeeeeeeam!”.
‘Wo yaaaaaaaaaaaaao
ice cream!”.

Not bad hor ;)

Today he had a new song as well. This time round, it is “Wo ai ice cream…. Wo ai ice cream… Wo ai ice cream” (I love ice cream)

I asked Yeye and he said they bought ice cream for him yesterday. No wonder he is so excited.

Talking about ice creams, just the other day, Clari brought Ace out for a walk and gave him some ice cream as well. Even though they did not tell him what flavour it was, the moment he took a mouthful, Ace said, “Mmmmm… liu lian!”

Clever or not?

Previous Post: Mama, Xie Xie

Mama, Xie Xie

Well, something happened that really brightened my day that day.

When I woke up, Ace was holding on to one of his toys and playing it on bed beside me. Seeing that he was happy by himself, I went back to bed.

Suddenly, he started to cry and kept pulling at my hand.

"Sun sun!" he said and he kept pulling my hand to touch the bed railings. I really did not understand what he was trying to say so I took my hands away. The moment I removed my hands, he cried louder and pulled it back to the railings again.

So I told him, "Ace ah... I don't understand what you are trying to say when you are crying. If you are sad and cry, mummy will be patient and wait for you to finish crying. But if you want something and cry while you say it, mummy cannot understand you, ok?"

He stopped crying immediately and said, "Ok."

And then he pointed to my hand and the railing and said, "Sun.."

I connected my heart with his heart and suddenly understood what he was saying. I looked into the hole between the railing and the wall and true enough, he had dropped the toy he was playing with. It was a pink, furry thing which looked like a sun. He dropped it and wanted me to pick it up for him.

I put my hand in and told him, "See, mummy's hand is not long enough so cannot pick it up..."

And he looked resigned to fate that it cannot be picked up.

After giving it some thought, I decided to go an extra mile and went to get an umbrella to hook the toy out. I hooked it out and passed to him and then walked out of the room thinking nothing of it as it was my 'duty' as a mother to help him....

"Mama, xie xie..."

I thought I heard wrongly... "huh?" I asked him...

So he ran out, bowed he head and told me, "Mama, xie xie!"

Wah... the sweetest words I have heard!

My Ace actually being able to express appreciation and thank me without anyone telling him to do it at 2 years old! All that POV exercise to forgive my parents and appreciate them more must be working!

PS: I said I will wait for him to finish crying because it is not good to hold back our feelings. Better to feel them and burn them off so they dun stay inside us ;) So next time your kid cries of throws a tantrum, cut them some slack and let them feel their feelings.. you dun want a zombie with no feelings or a good, nice but DEAD son or daughter do you?:P

Previous Post: Massage

Massage

Ace is very good at massaging ;)

If you dun believe me, when you see him, tell him, "Ace, massage!" and point to where you want to massage...

He is good because firstly, he has various techniques- kneading, pressing, chopping, pushing...

And very importantly, he has quite alot of strength so it is really quite comfortable. The only thing is that he has a short attention span so his massages at most lasts for 30-60 seconds ;) hahaha..

He is happy to help you massage again as long as you make the "oooh, ahhh..." sort of noise and tell him it is very comfortable and thank him after tat :)

Previous Post: Ru Yi You

Ru Yi You

This is not an advert.

However, the following really happened...

Because Waigong came back from a short trip to genting and bought many of those heaty biscuits, Ace had a great time eating them but forgot to drink lots of water.

In the end, he was slightly constipated for two days.

The first day... he did not poo for one whole day (which is very very rare cos he usually poops 2-3 times a day) and by night time, he suddenly ran to popo and gave her a very constipated look, Popo took off his diapers and saw some stains of shit and made him sit down on the tam pui to poot poot.

20 minutes later when I reached home, he was still sitting on the tam pui with a constipated look and so Popo applied some ru yi you for him and rubbed his tummy... after a while though, finally a small lump of shit came out.

The next day, he came to me and said, "Mummy, Da Bian!"

But there was no shit coming out. So I told him after a while, "Let me know later when you feel like shitting again ok?"

And then I went back doing my translation work.. halfway through, he ran into Popo's room and became really quiet. So I ran in to see what he was doing.

He was on tip toe and trying to reach for that ru yi you.... when he saw me, he pointed to the ru yi you, lifted his shirt to show his tummy and rubbed his tummy.

"You want me to apply for you?" I asked him.

"Mama, cha (which is chinese for apply)... Mama, cha..." he told me and so I applied for him. Waigong bought some bananas for him that day and I am happy to say that he has started shitting normally again ;)

Previous Post: Future Stomp Drummer

Future Stomp Drummer!

Think Ace has a talent for music and rhythm ;)

He is good at playing drums...




And Daddy says that his tonality is so good that when he hears songs and sing them again when there is no music, his tone is even more accurate than Daddy! ;) hahaha...

Previous Post: Fun With Yeye

Fun with Yeye

Going to Yeye's house is always alot of fun...

Yeye and nai nai will teach him some songs and he is always happy to sing along..

Ace's current fav: Pai pai zuo
Ace singing his favourite rhyme.. think Nainai taught him this cos they expect my next child to be a MEIMEI.. hiaks :)



Some nursery rhyme in teochew that great grandfather taught Yeye


Previous Post: Duckie Song

Duckie Song

Ace was looking for sesame street in the PC but because the website was down, I played a song I found in YouTube... and Ace likes it very much! ;)



Previous Post: Goal!

Goal!

This is one happens when your son has a soccer fanatic as a father:)



Previous Post: Expressions

Expressions

Ace has been learning about expressions.

If you draw a happy face and ask him to be happy, he will give you a smile and do a happy face.

And then when I draw a zig zag mouth, he will say it is an angry face and say, "Angry..."

The funniest part is when you draw a sad face, he will tell you "sad" and imitate the drawing.. so cute! hahahah...

Previous Post: Yan Dao

Yan Dao

We told Ace that he is very handsome.. and then we taught him to say, "Ace is yandao..." and do the very 'yandao' pose ;)

Now, this confident little boy would always do the handsome yandao pose whenever he sees the camera...

hahaha...

Previous Post: Your Job Is To Be Happy

Your Job Is To Be Happy

As a parent, your job is to be happy. Because if you are happy, your children will be happy.

As a child, your job is also to be happy because only when you are happy, your parents will be happy.

You see, we all know that having a happy life is great. If we had a good life, had lots of money, a good job, loving partners and wonderful children, it would be all so wonderful. But how many people around you do you know that really has a good and happy life?

And the interesting thing is this...

Let me ask you a question... there is no right or wrong answer. Just answer truthfully, intuitively and don't think too hard.

If you are not happy with your life right now, is it because you feel that if you were too happy, you would let your parents down?

Do you feel that you would be betraying your parents if you had a much better life than them?

Do you believe that you are unfillial if your parents had a terrible life and you lead a wonderfully happy life?

If your answer is yes to any of the above questions, then you got it the wrong way.

Too many of us stay unhappy so that we could be good children.

If you had any children, be it a son or a daughter, you would want them to be happy, wouldn't you?

Remember, we are the arrow and our parents the bow. We have come so that we can go furthur than them. If you are happy, you could share your gift of happiness with them. If you had a good life and lots of abundance, you could share it with them!

I mean, if you saw a little girl playing on her own and having fun while her parents led sad, unfulfilling lives, would you scold her and say, "How dare you make your parents unhappy. You shouldn't have a life because they don't too!"

We make ourselves miserable but keep wanting others to be happy. How does it work?

If your parents are unhappy, and you say to yourself, "Let me make myself even more unhappy!" That sounds insane, doesn't it? But that is exactly what alot of us are doing.

If we want to be really successful in life, we need to understand that the what and the how are the same thing.

Eg, if we made a million dollars by being mean, we will feel mean no matter how much or how little money we make.

If we made the money by working hard, at the end of the day, we only have hard work no matter how much money we make.

If you want money and success, you have to act and think successfully and not by doing anything else. So if you want happiness, you have to act and think happy!

We came as a gift of happiness to our parents, all we need to do is to switch on the switch and think and act happy.. this happiness will come back and you will make your parents happy as well.

But our ego has tricked us into telling us that our happiness lies in something outside of ourselves.

So remember, happiness is within you! Be happy and share it with your parents. Your children will learn from YOUR example :)

Previous Post: Oh! Shit!

Oh! Shit!

It's a shitty world lately...

Remember that I had just toilet trained Ace so that he could tell us if he wanted to pee?

Well, I think we kind of succeeded doing the potty training for the shit part as well.

The other day, I was enjoying my beauty sleep in my room and suddenly, my dad screamed very loudly, "Da gua! Kuai dian lai! Da bian ah!"

I was jolted into waking up and ran to the kitchen and this is what my saw..

My son was standing there, with his pants down and there was this pile of shit beside him.... And there was this guilty look on his face.

To make him feel better.. and of course, because I really did find it funny, I started to laugh! "hahahahahaa......"

Then Waigong explained that Ace ran to him and said, "Wai gong sh sh..." So my dad pulled his pants down and put the urinal in front of him and the end result was that two lump of shit came out from the back...

"Hahahahaah... Ace, you are so clever leh. Now you can tell us when you want to shit already.. HIGH FIVE!" I told him.

"Next time you have to say properly ok? In front one is sh sh... if behind one is da bian.. ok? High five you clever boy!"

And the smile returned to his face and then I proceeded to clean up the mess.

After that, he was really happy and started stand by the childgate in front of the kitchen and kept saying, "waigong, da bian!" and then cackle into laughter.

So cute.

But the next day, he came to me in the afternoon and said, "Mama, mama... sh sh... sh sh....!"

He looked really urgent so I fly towards the tam pui and then pulled his pants down and placed the tam pui in front of his johnny.

And then he started to give a constipated look and I knew he was going to shit. So I shifted the tam pui to his backside and asked him, "You want to da bian is it?"

"No!" he insisted firmly and pushed the tam pui back to the front.

I put it behind is bottom and asked him, "Da bian is it?"

"No! No! No!" he insisted and pushed it to the front.

The end result. One drop of pee came out together with two lumps of shit! Hahahaha...

Now, Ace only wears pants at home and only puts on diapers when he is sleeping and when he is going out. Wah.. save money ah! Not bad POV abundance comes in many ways indeed!

Previous Post: I can use chopsticks

I can use Chopsticks!

Ace can feed himself quite well now and not make a mess.

He is good with the spoon and fork and is improving quickly with the chopsticks as well.

He cannot hold the chopsticks properly like us but he still manages to feed himself...

So cute...

Previous Post: Supermarket Shopping

Supermarket Shopping

Well, the other day I was supposed to be nanny and since I had nothing much do do, I decided to bring Ace along when I went shopping for his milk powder.

Initially, I had a plan to go there, walk around the whole supermarket and explore before we bought anything.

I remembered my mum telling me that I had to bring a small paperbag with something inside and ask Ace to hold it for me so that he will hold on to me with one hand and the other hand will not be free to touch anything else.

Alas, I forgot to bring the paperbag and so I tot I would replace that with a basket.

The moment he got the basket though, he dragged it to all the fruits and started to take two of everything.. oranges, apples... and I got so busy trying to put everything back that i decided in the end to just buy the milk powder and go home.

But since he was a good boy (walking throughout the whole journey instead of asking me to carry him), I bought him a piece of bread and he happily ate it on his way home.

I think now that Daddy is not in SG, I shall refrain from bringing him supermarket shopping for quite a while.. muahaha....

Previous Post: Self Portraits

Self Portraits

Remember me talking about how Ace is trying to take pictures?

Well, the other day, I sat down and taught him step by step how to use my camera to take a photo of himself.

Told him which button to press and that he should put the camera away from him...

After two tries, he got it.. and here are his first two self portraits ;)
Not bad hor?:P

Previous Post: About Your Parents

About Your Parents

I have been talking about our relationship with our parents so much these days because in actual fact, how good a parent we are and very importantly, how much we enjoy parenthood is really dependent on how good our relationship with our parents is.

If we have alot of judgment against our parents, we will never feel we are good parents or even if we did all the good things that good parents do, we will never really enjoy parenthood ;)

Alot of times, when we complain about our parents.. because they are our parents, we let them win. We let them scold us, hit us or treat us bad so that we could win them. We play a victim role and then we complain, "See, my parents are so lousy and they treat me so bad..."

But victims are in actual fact full of attack, anger and violence. In actual fact, there is no difference whether you are the prey or the predator.

Victims want things to go their way and want to prove that they are right and the other person is wrong.

Victims let other people win over them (eg, they let them hit them or scold them or treat them nasty) but will end up playing on this guilt the other party has for the rest of their life. And I think most children I know, including myself play this game.

See, you din do this.. that is why I am like that. See, you didn't do that, that is why I am like that. See, you didn't treat me well, that is why I have lack of self worth and am not successful in life. See, you were bad to me, that is why I am poor now.

Mostly, when we dun lead successful, abundant, happy lives (which is actually a NATURAL part of our human lives), we are just revenging on our parents because "THEY WERE BAD!"

But until we really forgive the other person, we will also not stop feeling guilty for treating them so badly.

What we do to others, we are in fact, doing to ourselves.

Understand your parents
Here is a good way you could use to get rid of all the unfinished business you had with your parents. You could give it a try, or you could call it fluff. If you did and improved your relationship with your parents, I am happy for you. If not, you could just treat this as additional reading material.. hahaha ;) For me, I just wanted to share with you what I learnt because I felt it was so important for me...

First, think of the three biggest grieviances that you have about your parents.

Secondly, identify how you felt when your parents did that to you. Were you a victim or victimizer?
When you have a victim and a victimizer, how the victim felt after that is exactly how the victimizer felt when he was inflicting the pain on the victim. Everyone in the same situation will feel exactly the same way.

And most importantly, after that the victim will either stay in the victim role and wait for other people to victimize them or they will do unto others what has been done to them.

Eg, if a person felt abandoned by parents when she is young, she will grow up to have her business partners or partners abandoning her OR she will abandon them before they abandon her.

But alot of times we need to track what that person was feeling then and we would know what the parents was feeling. They were probably feeling unloved and abandoned too. A person with happy life and caring parents wouldn't abandon their own children, would they?

Or if your parents belted you... think of it this way, if your parents were happy and well loved children when they were young and always had alot of love around them, would they become parents who belt their own children?

(Just FYI, if we believed that our parents abandoned us, it means we believed that god has abandoned us.)

Third step is to make a choice: LOVE and FORGIVENESS
But actually, there is a simple way out.. especially in the case of victim and victimizer between parents and children... and that is love. All you need to do is choose love.

When we think of our parents in that particular situation then, what were they feeling and how could we help her? We will realize we just need to love them. Most 'lousy' parents act that way because they never felt like anyone has ever known them.

That is because when we really know someone, we cannot help but love them and look past their mistakes, their body and when we really do know them, we will love them.

If we feel our parents do not understand us, that is because we never really took time to understand them. So the way out is to try to understand them and don't stop until we really knew them because if we knew them, we would love them.

All we need to do is to forgive them, forgive ourselves and love them.

It is not possible for others to make us feel what we do not already feel. It is impossible for anyone to abandon or reject you. Neither is it possible for anyone to make you feel upset or hurt etc.

So when you feel that way, what is actually happening is that you are actually abandoning or rejecting them. When you stop concentrating on abandoning and hurting people you will stop feeling that your life is meaningless because you will feel their love.

Previous Post: Grumpy Ace