Whenever he is upset or angry or grumpy, he will hit other people. Usually, the poor, innocent victim is "Lao Ma"...He hits laoma so often and so hard that now when Laoma sees him, she will try to siam him in case he hits her. What exasperates me further is that when I try to stop him and explain to him it is not right to hit people and ask him to do the three step system of:
- Say sorry to laoma
- Sayang laoma
- Hug, hug laoma and tell her "I still love you..."
To make things worse, he starts to also hit Popo, hit me, hit Ah Yee, hit Waigong... That day he even hit Nainai and Yeye... Sometimes he also goes and pinch Waigong till the finger nail marks will scratch Waigong's skin.
Through it all, Ah Net is the only one who WAS safe. That is... until that day when he took out the stool and aimed it at Net Net's head. The next day, he took out the stool and slammed it at Waigong's head.
I am already at my wit's end.
I tried talking to him and explaining to him that it is wrong to hit people. It did not work. He would say OK OK OK OK.. high five with me and then continue to hit people.
I tried asking him about why he wants to hit people, he just says, xx angry. Sometimes it is Papa, sometimes it is Mama.. sometimes it is the person he hits.
I tried hitting him. It did not work. The worst thing is that I know that hitting him doesn't work at all but it was really at last resort that I did it because i don't know what else I can do anymore.
Talking to other mummies for advice also did not help as even though I carried out all their advice, Ace will get a little better and resume his violence.
The last straw came when Ace went to a meeting with Waipo and went to hit another one year old baby three times.
That made Waipo very embarrassed and upset and in the end, not only did Ace receive a beating from her, poor me also kenna a very long and winded scolding and therefore, I am in a super bad mood now.
I told Waipo, "If you want to cane him, go ahead. I already gave you the permission because I also dunno what else I can do. I won't blame you for it. But dun try to ask me to teach him or discipline him the way you want to. If you want to hit him, do it yourself, dun FORCE me to do what you want to do..."
I am really pissed lor. I am not Ace leh. I am just his mother. Just because of that, I have to be responsible because he hits other people? And it is not as if I did not try to stop him but I just havent found out a good way to do so. Can't she cut me some slack? I am also trying my VERY VERY BEST already lor. Does it mean that if I beat Ace to death then she will be happy?
Then waipo start to complain, "What happens when he goes into the outside world? Doesn't he need to learn to relate to people? It is so competitive outside.. blah blah blah..."
I really dunno what is the big deal. If he goes outside and hits other people, I am sure they also not stupid and will hit him back.. and then he will understand the cause and effect mah... and what is such a big deal right.. he would not hit people forever wat.. at least I am sure this is just a phase that he goes through...
HAI... really dunno wat to do with this baby. My infinite patience towards this matter is running very thin... last resort, I told him if he hits other people, I will hit him.. But I feel guilty after that because somehow I feel that that is not the right approach...
I also feel bad because in POV, we are told that children are our sub concious mind. It makes me wonder if there is alot of anger or aggression in me that I have suppressed and makes me think like, "Oh gosh, I am a bad person!"
This is really very very demoralizing. Feel like a failure as a mum and also feel really moody. I think I will raise my hands and ask about this during Hanxuan's POV.
I wish I could tie Ace up so that he cannot move. Or maybe let him watch 24hrs of BARNEY a day in the high chair. Then he would not have a chance to hit anyone and I can enjoy my peace..
Higher mind ah higher mind, what are you trying to ask me to heal?
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