How do you explain this?

As Ace grows up and understand more about life, there are more and more things I have to explain to him.. and sometimes, I really need to crack my head so that I think I will give him a fair explanation...

The other day, I was talking to Jez whose eldest daughter is already 10. She said that one day when her daughter was watching TV with her husband, the movie referred to a woman as a 'ji' (chicken) and so her daughter asked her father, "Daddy, how come the man call this woman a chicken?"

Not knowing how to answer, the Dad replied, "Go ask your mother..."

Jez, not knowing what or how to say it told her, "Ask me at the end of the day, give me some time to think of how to explain to you..."

And after a long hard thought, she told her daughter that Chickens are women who earn money by selling their bodies. Chicken is just a phrase people call them. This occupation is called Prostitute. Sometimes some women want to earn money but do not want to work hard or dunno what they can do, they will sell their bodies in return for money and so they become prostitutes.

Then a few days later, she drove her daughter through Joo Chiat and told her, "See that lady in white shorts, that is a 'chicken'... see that lady in red vest?.."

At the end of the trip, her daughter told her, "I know already! If you wear very little clothes, you are a chicken!"

"No no no.. does not mean that if a person wear very little they will be a prostitute... some people think it is nice to wear very little. But for a prostitute, because they are selling their bodies, they have to show more of their body so that people can decide whether to buy or not.."

I was really impressed with Jez and wondered when I will ever come across a good challenge like tat since Ace is still so young...

Just the other day, my chance came when we brought Ace out for dinner. A very old man who is limping limped over and asked us for money.. cos he says he has some problems with his legs... etc... we did not give him money but promised to give him our empty can when we are done cos he was collecting... and the worst thing is that Ace kept staring at his leg.. even when he left, Ace just kept staring at his leg...

I thought very long and hard about how to explain this to Ace. I did not want him to think that we should not help people in need.. neither do I want him to think we should help EVERYONE in need... there is just too many reasoning behind why I dun give money to people who come and beg... but how to explain the very difficult concept of true giving vs sacrifice and compensation...

Very difficult to explain how when we help others out of sacrifice and compensation, we become unequal and think we are far more superior than them and that is not true love, true giving...

After thinking for about 2 minutes, I told Ace this, "Ace, that uncle is old and he came begging for money. In future, if you see people like that, just follow your heart. Remember, it is ok for you to help if you help out of your sincere heart... it is also ok if you do not want to help, there is nothing wrong with it... You see, everyone has a choice.. Uncle has a choice whether to ask you for money and you have a choice whether you give him. If you do not give uncle money to help him, you can probably send Uncle some love in your heart... your love might possibly help him more than the money you give him... just bless him.. ok?"

"OK..." said Ace.

I wonder how much if it he understood...

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