Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
So the other day, Daddy brought Ace cycling and took pics ;)
Here is Ace having fun:
Previous Post: Yati
Monday, July 28, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
In case you also itching to go through my memories, here goes:
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Ace was starved by the time we reached there and was so happy to see the whole table of food.
We were pleasantly surprised to find that there was a vegeterian menu there and ordered mostly vegeterian food save one huge 1.3kg crab and some drunken prawns for the meatarians.
It was kind of awkward for me because Ace asked me, "What is this?" and pointed to the prawns.. "What is this?" and pointed to the crab...
And you know.. when they prepare the drunken prawn, they will show you the prawns and pour the alchohol in.. so I had to try to explain to Ace what prawns and crabs were and why we were not eating them... but to explain why Yeye, Nainai, Diana Jie Jie and Shu Shu were eating them is tough so I din say much till later in the car when they are gone.
The toughest is to explain why the prawns were being force fed with alchohol before people cook them.
When I sent Ace to school, his teacher asked me how do I explain to Ace about vegeterianism.. so now I am trying to search for any resource that teaches or has simple stories about why go vegeterian... if you have any links, send to me at email@example.com ok?:P
You can see more pics of the celebration at: http://verityy.multiply.com/photos/album/65/Yeyes_Birthday
Post Script: I have since done a few things to explain vegeterianism...
1) I have told Ace about a theory of success that I learnt a few years ago from one of my mentors, George. The theory of success states that 3% of the people in the world are successful because they are different. They do all the things that ordinary people do not dare or do not want to do. And this is the reason why they are successful. Successful people are usually healthy.. we are successful people, that is why we will always be different from 97% of the world because we will do things differently.. we want to have healthier bodies, so we do not eat meat or seafood so that we can be healthier.. We made a different choice, so it is normal to see other people eating wat we do not eat.
2) I borrowed a book called "MY FRIENDS" from the library and all the friends mentioned inside are animals.. so I told Ace that since they are our friends, we cannot eat them. "Do you want your friend to eat you?" I asked him.. "No, no, no, no, no...." he said with a really worried look at the thought of that. "That is the reason we do not eat our friends like cows, pigs, fish... because they are all our friends..."
"What will happen if you eat your friend?" Ace crunched his fist and rubbed them on his eyes and cried.. "Boo hoo hoo... dun eat me please..."
Previous Post: Ace Goes To School!
Friday, July 25, 2008
If you a wondering why I am sooooooooooooo happy, it is because with Ace in school, it means that I am free to do whatever I like in the day because I get to have my own time, my ME time and my quiet time...
Anyway, Mrs Ho, the principal of the school said Ace is very ready for school. "In fact, I think he should be here 6 months ago.." she said when Ace went there for a half day trial.
True enough, Ace would show anyone who came into his house his school uniform and tell anyone who bothers to listen that he is going to Popo's school... Everyday he reminds you that he wants to and is going to Popo's school.
So on that fateful day, he woke early to bath and happily changed into his uniform and packed his bag for school. Once his bag was packed, he started carrying it around the house as we walked around the house and prepared ourselves.
The very happy Ace even posed for a number of photos happily and told me, "Wo yao qu xue xiao le!"
And true enough, this little boy is so ready for school that the moment we reached school.. he does not even care if I exist!
No doubt he was a little shy and unsure of himself when the teachers talked to him.. I followed him to wash his hands and then brought him the breakfast table where the teacher gave him a snack and then I went away with Teacher Xie to the office and by the time I came out again, he had finished his water play and was happily playing with his classmates.
He started to mingle around and made a few good friends.
His new friend Yang Yang told him, "Look, your mummy is over there!" But Ace just continued reading his book as if nothing happened and ignored both Yang Yang and me.
And then he ran and tried to make friends with the Eurasian sweetie pie in his class and even held people's hands and tried to make funny faces to get her attention.. haha..
Then Teacher Toh intro Ace to the class officially and got him to tell everyone his name and made his classmates hi five with him. "OK children, please give our new friend Ace a loud clap..." said Teacher Toh and everyone clapped enthusiastically. Thinking that it is some performance, Ace bowed a few times to them.. HAHA...
And then it was story time and then Ace and his friends already started to hug each other! I think this is a very loving class and I am sure Ace is in good hands..
When Max came to pick me up, I went to Ace and told him, "Mummy is leaving, be a good boy.. ok?"
"Ok," he said and continued playing.
I am glad my son LOVES school and goes to school fuss free!
Anyway, I feel really free now.. I danced and sweeped the floor to my Moulin Rouge CD and now have time to blog and even sip a cup of my precious rose bud tea tat Karen bought for me... wat a leisurely afternoon!
You can see Ace's pics here:
Previous Post: Daddy Got Hair!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Somehow Ace kept getting it wrong because he kept saying "Princess".
And then Daddy corrected him and reminded him to open his eyes big till he got it right and asked him to show it to me.
I dunno whether to laugh or cry.. why would my son want to learn to be like the monster Smeagol when there are so many handsome heroes out there like Legolas, Aragon??
But I decided to go into the fun and so I pretended to be Gollum too... "Hahaha..."Ace giggled happily and pretended to do his gollum impersonation.. "prriiiiin... cessssss" said Ace.
So I told him, "Forget it lah, let's not pretend to be gollum, we dun look like him anyway, we have got hair... Daddy looks like him because Daddy got no hair..." And I caressed Daddy's botak head...
"But Daddy got hair!" Ace insisted....
Surprised, I asked him.. "Where?"
"There... on Daddy's armpit got hair..." said Ace as his pointed to Max's out-stretched arms that were put behind his head. I laughed until I rolled off our TATAMI and Max turned soft in the tummy laughing...
"So funny hor.."Ace asked me afterward.
Yes, Ace. So VERY VERY VERY funny! I havent' laughed this hard or long in a long long time!
Previous Post: Modelling Moral Life for Children
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
by Lency Spezzano
Here is an article by one of my teachers, Lency Spezzano... quite helpful.. so share with all mothers and teachers here;)
I am not a moralist, and I am not generally interested in the morality of others (except in how my judgements on others are projections of my judgements on myself). Yet, I am a parent, and parents are concerned about the moral development and behavior of their children. What parent's heart doesn't break for the parents of the child on the news who has taken a life, or broken ot`her laws? Even if we have become jaded about the world, we still do not want our own children to lie to us, or steal from us.
Children absorb most of their moral learning from their parents' actions. The way they are treated by their parents and the way they see their parents treat others, will be the natural basis for how they operate in the world. For example, we all want to raise children that we can trust to speak truthfully to us, even when they are teenagers. The only way that we have the right to expect honesty from our kids is to speak the truth to them and to those around us at all times.
I was 25 years old before I realized that honesty truly is the best policy. I remember jogging around the park off Diamond Head that beautiful afternoon here in paradise. But, rather than drinking in the beauty of the land and sky and sea, or relating with the rainbow of Hawaii's people that I encountered, my mind was fraught with stress. I spent the whole time thinking of my conflicts, and recalling the variModeling Moral Life for Children by Lency Spezzano ous deceptions and half truths I had put out to the people in my world to gain some kind of advantage.
As I ran I began to recognize how much time and energy I put into maintaining those deceptions, just to keep track of what I had said to whom. I also recognized that I carried a lot of fear around with me. Would things I had said about certain people to others get back to them? Would people compare statements I had made to them?
I realized that the fear and stress from my lies and gossip were overwhelming, even though I was basically a nice and well-intentioned person. I also realized that none of the deceptions or secret attacks were necessary. They didn't really help me; they hurt me a lot. They were the source of much of my suffering.
For the first time, I recognized that all of the things I was doing to protect myself and elevate myself actually made me vulnerable. The best thing I could do for myself would be to give up the deceptions and secrets. I could instead always speak the truth, and not say anything about anyone that I would not be willing to say to his or her face (and in fact, that would be far better than saying it to someone else). That way I would never have to remember what I said to anyone, and I could relax.
That decision started a new chapter in my life, one of greater ease and safety. I believe that our children have benefited from that lesson through natural absorption. When things are uncomfortable for them, their minds do not automatically seek a way to cheat their way out of it. If they have been sneaky or deceptive, it weighs heavily on their mind until they confess without prompting.
Usually these confessions are pretty cute, and become part of the family lore. Like the time they stole a carton of ice cream out of our freezer and ate the whole thing outside behind the trees, the times they flushed their dinner down the toilet when I wasn't looking, etc. They recognize that they are much more comfortable inside themselves when they are honest, and they love feeling that they have iaa clean slate.lJAll of this honesty occurs naturally, without lecturing about honesty, or discussing morality at all. It happens because it is the only way of being they know. On those occasions when I have discovered one of our kids in a lie, I felt the important thing was not to go into reaction. I remained connected with them, and asked them what was going on with them that they felt they needed to lie. Punishment would not have taught them to be honest; it would have taught them to try harder not to get caught the next time. Causing our kids to feel guilty about being deceptive would only have cemented in the deceptive behavior. Real communication and joining was what they were calling for. Then if it seemed that it would be beneficial for them to have a ionatural consequencel_ for their behavior, that could occur without that consequence being seen as a punishment dealt out to them on a whim. They even helped us determine what that natural consequence should logically be.
When we did occasionally use the ihnatural consequencesla formula it was when they were younger. I can't remember the last time either of our kids needed us to assign any kind of consequence for their behavior; it's been years. Life deals those out fairly automatically the older we get. We have never punished them, just as it would not be true for us to punish others we love when they make mistakes.
I did ground Chris once, but I realized a couple of days into it that he hadn't disobeyed me; we had had a genuine misunderstanding that came from miscommunication. Once I was able to recognize that, we had a natural meeting of the minds and the intimate understanding that springs from it. I dropped the grounding consequence, and never regretted it My usual method for dealing with suspected deceptions when the kids were younger and testing limits was very simple. I would say, iaLook me in the eye and tell me that again with a straight face.lh Then I would give them my most discerning look, while smiling. If they were fibbing or exaggerating, their attempt to stare me down would end in a fit of giggles. We would all have a laugh instead of a conflict, and they learned that it was useless to try to fool me. Their own subconscious mind revealed the truth. It got so that all I had to do was give them ihthe lookl. if they said something suspicious, and they would crack up, laughing at themselves.
Our kids don't generally do or say anything to anyone else with the intention of causing pain. When they are attacked, they refrain from attacking back. They do not seek revenge. They speak kindly to us without sarcasm or rancor. Children can be very cruel, but there is no reason they have to be. Cruelty is a learned behavior, and our children learn primarily from us. They treat others the way we have treated them. High personal morals are their own reward. I believe it is more fun to have the good feeling of knowing that you have not cheated on your income taxes, than it would be to have the extra money from the cheating. It is more fun to have the intimate thrill of being completely known by your partner than it is to have secrets.
A clear conscience is a wonderful thing. The feeling of integrity allows you to rest inside yourself, and your kids will see the benefits of that inner freedom. One of the earliest guidelines from the Psychology of Vision, which I learned from Chuck when I first met him, explains that nothing can be done to us that we are not already in some way doing. Our children's behavior toward us will reflect our behavior toward them, and our behavior toward ourselves.
Our children are the greatest reflection we have of our minds. Their issues are our issues and their behaviors are our behaviors; even if we are doing our best to hide them from the world. The ways in which we are out of integrity will show up in some form in our children. For example, if Chuck or I had secret sexual liaisons, it would not be surprising for our kids to get into trouble about deceptive sexual behavior. If we were dishonest in our financial dealings, our children might develop a shoplifting p roblem. Addictions in us might well be reflected in addictions in them, etc.
No amount of punishment will teach our kids not to reflect our minds. When our kids get in trouble, it shows where we are in trouble. The good news is that since that is the case, when we can identify that issue inside of ourselves and heal it, our children no longer need to reflect the issue to us. We are all healed together. This can be the very greatest motivation for all of us parentswe can clean up our acts before our children begin to act out the deeper layers of our minds. Our children don't have to follow our footsteps through the mistakes we have made.
From Vision Magazine April 2001 A Publication from Psychology of Vision.
© Lency Spezzano 2001.
Previous Post: We are jellybeans:)
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Ace's school updates: Ace no longer says he does not want to go to school. He just keeps asking you why he has to go to school. Mostly, I think he is happy because when he is in a good mood, he will talk about wat happened in school and talk about his friends and teachers too.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Previous Post : Wu Lian Pai
Saturday, July 19, 2008
The other day, I was feeling bored and so I taught Ace how to do it and took pictures
This is the epitome of acting cute... they call it 5 lian pai...
Note: His fingering not very accurate so the two looks a little bit like three and the four looks like a five...
PS: Updates about Ace going to school.
Yesterday Daddy went to pick him up early and we met in NTUC.. When he saw me, he ran to me and hugged me and told me that he missed his friends. When I asked him if he was happy, he said he was and so I asked him what he did in school (shui jiao, qi lai, aunty chao mi fen, wan toys) and then I repeated my mantra of why we need to go to school to learn more things so that we have more knowledge and then we can make lots of money and buy all the things that we like.
This morning, after he finished bathing, he asked me, "Wo men qu na li..." "Go school lah,." I told him... "wei shen me yao go school, wei shen me yao zuan qian?"
Ok, great, it means he heard what I was telling him and so I repeated the mantra to him once when he was dressing up and once when he was wearing his shoes... and just as he was about to leave, I asked him, "Qu xue xiao xue duo duo zhi shi, yi hou zuan duo duo qian OK?"
OK!" He nodded his head with determination and waved goodbye to me with a smile.
Previous Post:Ace Model
Friday, July 18, 2008
The other day I caught him in a good mood and took the chance to take a series of photos for him ;)
PS: Updates about Ace going to school. When he came home on last friday, his teacher said he looked a little unhappy while he was in school in the morning. But when I went to pick him in the evening and asked him if he was happy and if he was enjoying himself, he answered with a resounding YES! But still, come sunday when we talked to him about going to school in the morning, he says he does not want to go to school.
Well, Max prepped talk him about going to school and making friends and Ace told us, "I don't want to play with my friends. I don't like to play with friends.." Even though that was his main motivation for going to school initially.
I gave him another series of prep talk about why we need to go to school.. so that we can learn more knowledge and build network so that when we do business, we can make a lot of money and then he can buy alot of noodles, alot of barney bags and alot of whatever he likes.
This morning, he tried to wriggle his way out of going to school again and thinking that it could be that just before he went to school, I often cooked for him and spent alot of time with him.. and probably missed having that and so I told him if he goes to school, we will pick him early and I will cook specially for Ace my special boy... and then he is happy and ok to go to school ;) haha...
Previous Post: Ace Can Bath Himself!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
The other day, Ace shit in his diapers and suddenly inspired, I decided to see if he wants to try to bath himself and I asked him if he wanted to bath himself. He turned out to be really excited about it and started bathing himself. I went to get a camera to take pictures of him and he had a great time bathing even though he did not do a very good job.
Afterward when you smelled his head, half is smelly and half smells good... haha.. cos he did not wash his head very well. But still I think it is not a bad try for a first timer.
So later when I patted him to sleep, I told him that he is very clever and that he should tell his Daddy when Daddy comes home that he is a clever boy because he can bath himself.
Ace was just about to sleep at this point when he suddenly opened his eyes and told me, "Hai you waigong... " pause... "hai you waipo.." and went on to list everyone in the family...
So when we went over to my mum's place later in the day, while we were on the stairs and about to reach, I asked him if he wanted to tell Waigong about it and he started to try and run down the stairs and even fell down but unlike usually when he would want me to kiss his boo boo, he just ignored it and quickly went to Waigong's doorstep and
told shouted him, "Waigong! Wo zi ji chong liang leh!"
When I told Max about this, he laughed and said that Ace is indeed a true blue teochew (and they are well known for being hao lian/boastful).
The funniest thing is that a few days later when Ace shit again, I asked him if he wanted to bath himself and he said yes. So I gave him the towel and sent him marching towards the bathroom.
Midway there, he turned around and asked me, "Mummy, ni yao na camera pai wo zi ji chong liang ma?" (Do you want to take the camera and take pictures of me bathing myself?)
Here is a video of him bathing himself ;)
Guess he knows when I do that, whole world knows he is very clever! Hahaha....
Previous Post: Vain Pot
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
PS: After going to school for 4 days and enjoying himself. Ace suddenly did a 180 degree turnaround and said he wanted to go and see Teacher Huiling and he does not want Teacher Toh or Xia Laoshi... he cried when I tried to bath and change him into his uniform and went, "I dun want kinderland, I dun want kinderland.. I want to go Popo's house, I want to go Ah Yee's house... " I asked him why but he would not say and so I hugged him and sent him alot of love and sent him away.. dunno if he cried in the car though... Let's pray this does not happen often...
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Vegeterian Burger With Eggless Egg Salad
Hong Shao Beef Noodles