Thursday, May 28, 2015

See You Again

Ace was listening to music while packing his room.

I went into his room to check on his progress and saw him pouting on his bed... and then the pouting became a mega big cry... When I asked him what happened after he cried beside me for like 5 minutes, he said he was listening to See You Again and by Wiz Khalifa and started to miss Lao Ma...

I told him that song was written I think in memory of Paul Walker.. who died.. that is why the lyrics resonated with him cos it is about someone missing someone who has died...

Few days later, Ace told me that he sang this song to his tuition class teacher. I think the song is growing on him.. and then he started singing again at home.. when I turned around to tell him something... he cut me short and said... "I am not going to cry this time.."

I told Ace the other day that S dreamt of Laoma walking around the house and saying, "boh nang lai..." (no one came) and Ace said that he dreamt of laoma too.. he dreamt of our family walking around with her in a beautiful garden and she fell down... and broke her hip.. and then he woke up. WHen he went back to bed.. his dream continued a year later and she recovered and was walking in the garden with us again but suddenly fell and died... I guess it is part of his trying to come to terms of what happened to laoma.

Anyway, we visited Laoma's urn at the temple the other day together with Popo, Gonggong, Ah Yee, C, Nett Nett, Meixuan Yee and her two kids... Interestingly, unlike visiting my grandfather, I was just really really happy to see my grandma again:) At any rate, happy to see them both and know that they are together now..

When I was there, I told Laoma that she dun need to think that no one came and visit her cos here we are.. the whole jim gang:) hahaha..

Afterwards, I asked Ace what he told Laoma and he said that he told her he wishes she will come back. I told him that we shouldnt wish that. Laoma may have completed everything she wanted to do on earth and in that case, there is no need for her to be back.. she can become a bodhisatva and just watch over us from where she is. If she were to come back, it means she has more lessons to learn...

Ace says that he wishes she will come back and recarnate into our family again..."Maybe she can be your baby... " He said.

I told him if that were to be the case, he has to be extra nice to her and have to feed her for that is what Laoma did for him when he was young. Haha!

But still, I think we miss them in different ways... today when I was on the bus, two older women beside me started conversing in Teochew and listening to them, I started thinking about my grandma and all the happy times we spent together..  I was so engrossed in my day dream.. I actually missed my stop!:) haha..

Previous Post: 20 Minutes

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

20 Minutes

Whenever my friends complain to me about how their children are misbehaving very often or how they are not doing well in school or behaving strangely.... I will always share with them the secret of the "20 minutes".

Some years ago, when attending a workshop by my good friend and teacher, Lency Spezzano, she taught us the secret of the "20 minutes".

According to Lency, as a parent, it is sometimes not always possible for us to be centred and so if we are off centre, we may not be able to respond to our children well and may do things like scream at them, scold them, ignore them when they need attention.. etc etc etc... and this creates a distance between our hearts..

Everyday, we accumulate some of this distance... when they are young, despite the distance, you can still ask them to follow what you say and listen to you..

But as they grow up and if this distance is constantly accumulated and not removed, it will grow and grow and once they are at the age where they are independent, they will become "rebellious" and may also show their upset at the distance via tantrums in all forms like misbehaving or doing badly in school etc...

Usually, before bedtime, me and Ace will read together and chat for 10-45 min depending on how much time we have. And we will do that every weekday night. Weekends we just chill together in the day.

Anyway, since my grandma had gotten very sick, I had not been able to spend as much time as I used to with Ace and we stopped doing the 20 minutes. After my grandmother passed away, we also did not do the 20 minutes because I had scabies (it is some sort of mite tat crawls under your skin) and I was afraid that I will pass it on to him...

And so, it became a habit NOT to do the 20 minutes. Cos no way i want to sleep on his bed and infect him, right?

As a result of the scabies, our number of hugs per day also dropped from like 8 to 0.

On the surface though, Ace seems to be quite the same. I do notice though that he has gotten a little rude in his speech.. he will use phrases like "What the hell.." when he talks to me and get frustrated over small little things and show me a black face... and if it took like 5 times of the same command to get things done, he has started to totally ignore some of my commands sometimes even after me repeating it 10 times... but he was still doing things like helping me with the dishes... kissing me and telling me that he loves me and so I still wondered if the lack of this 20 minutes really made a difference.

The answer came when we went for the Parent Teacher Meeting the other day.

When I met up with Ace's teacher, her first comment was "Ace is an exceptional boy... he is polite, he is intelligent and everything about him is great...  BUT...."

Hahahaha.... BUT... there are two things not so great about him that he needs to change. And to be honest, the teacher did not tell me what I did not already know...

  1. Ace writes too slow
    She says that Ace cannot finish his work in class most of the time because he writes too slow and he did not finish most of his exam papers because of lack of speed. If he were to finish his papers, he should be able to get BAND ONE for all his subjects except chinese.
  2. Ace cannot concentrate well
    Apparently, Ace will glaze over sometimes in class and one of the reasons he cannot finish his work on time is that he is easily distracted and cannot focus in class. There are times where he was asked to complete a piece of work and after working halfway, he actually took out a piece of paper and made a paper sword or gun!

    I know that this is partly because he has a classmate who likes to talk to him (but i told him that he can ignore the classmate and still choose to focus) and partly also because he finds the lessons boring. He is like tat.. easily bored and when bored, he will do this sort of funny thing. He doesnt think it is a big deal to do his own thing in class as long as he doesnt disturb others.

    His teacher also said that he has his "moods"... on good mood days, he will write brilliant compositions! But on bad mood days, he will almost fail or cannot finish. He did not finish compo for his exams.

    His Chinese teacher also told us he noticed Ace is a little different in recent months. He used to take notes and ask questions but now he sort of lost focus.

    I thought long and hard about what they said and my conclusion is that while Ace has always had these two issues, they got worse because he did not get his 20 minutes with me and Max.
But given that, for someone who totally did not prepare for this exams, he did not score too badly... So I think despite his two problems, he did try in school..

He scored an average B grade for everything except Chinese.

He scored very well for his CA but tat is only 10% of his final mid year grades. He scored 90% for english, 100% for math and 85% for science and a 60% for Chinese.

But for his SA,he scored 82.5% for english (he did not finish his compo so he barely passed compo), 70 for math, 73 for science and 43 for chinese (he missed out on one page of the paper, failed compo badly and was totally lost in the comprehension portion).

Interestingly, with an exception of chinese, he is actually considered "above average" in school.

But now is just whether Ace is happy to be "above average" or does he want to excel in academics. I think to him, he merely wants to excel in making paper guns and paper weapons for now.. everything else, do OK can liao.. hahahaha...

I think also have to thank his Dubai teachers for giving him a good foundation, and an inquiring mind:)

Another thing that surprised me...

We all know Ace is super emo child and easily upset. He often tells me that he cries in school over this or that. But it is very surprising to me that both his Chinese and form teacher says that Ace is a very mature child.

I actually asked his form teacher why she chose Ace to be roomate with H for the malacca trip. She told me she gave it much consideration and chose Ace and the other boy cos they were both mature and would not get upset over the small small funny funny things tat H might do.

In fact, in his report card, despite Ace always telling me tat he quarrels with this person or that person or every now and then complain that he has no friends, his teacher's comments were:

Ace has a pleasant deposition and is able to build cordial relationships with his classmate. He works together with team members harmoniously and displays sincerity and respect when dealing with others . He copes constructively with emotions. Being a bright student, he will definitely do very well if he stays more focused in class an dd concentrates when doing his written work.

So now that scabies are over and behind me, I think we should resume the 20 minutes to help him improve furthur:)

PS: Ace told me later that he was a little bored and upset cos he did not get enough hug hug during that period... and that no hugs mean no "power"... plus he says me and his dad were bz bz bz bz... no one had time for him... Now that I spend more time with him, he seems to be a little better...

Previous Post: Cheeky Ace And His Cheeky Friends

Cheeky Ace And His Cheeky Friends

While we were chatting the other day, Ace told me that he and his cheeky friends came up with a plan to tease their Chinese teacher, Mr X.

Before the teacher came into class, they all pakat and agreed that when the teacher came into class, they will all break out into applause.. just for fun.. wahahahaha..

I asked him what his teacher Mr X said and he said, "他说我们很无聊咯.."


I think his Chinese class friends all all quite cheeky.

Apparently, there is a girl in this class whose name is RUIEN... so another time, they pakat and when the girl walks into the class, they started singing the star awards theme song together.....

Hahahaha... maybe boh liao pple attract boh liao friends:) wahahaha..

I told my friends about this and they say Ace and his cheeky buddies are so cute.. haha:)

Previous Post: I Want To Donate To Nepal

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

I Want To Donate To Nepal

Yesterday, we were talking about donations..

And Max was telling Ace how we have donated some money to help build a well in Myanmar through one of our friends who has been doing business there and actively helping the community there... (You can click on the link to find out what they have been doing and how you can help)

Max told Ace he donated money so that this village, can build a well and piping so that they can enjoy, clean, fresh water... because Ace has been wasting water.. hahahahaha...

We explained to Ace that there was this village with people who do not have clean water to use.. so they had to drink and use dirty water to bath and cook.. so this is why we are doing this. Our friend worked with the people there and worked out that he will need about $1000 sing dollars to build this well.. the money will be paid to the craftsmen there who will build it and so it is really a total win win situation for the village...

"Can I also donate?" Ace asked... and he said he wanted to donate $10 to this project to help.

So while we were talking about it, Ace told us suddenly said that he wanted his PAIL SAVINGS (it is his weekly savings that Max will match for him to save up for either things that he needed to buy and also things that he needed and also to donate) to NEPAL...

Reason being that he saw a clip in school about how the children had no food to eat and how the earthquake happened and how people dropped into the cracks within... and so he declared that he wants to donate all his pail savings into NEPAL..

My son is very ngiaow usually.. but when it comes to these things, he is very generous!:) hahaha..

When I asked him why he wanted to donate everything, he said he was very saddened by the clip he saw and he nearly cried. So he wanted to help.

I think perhaps now is a good time to have a talk with him about "helping people".

Donations to help are good.. but they are not ALWAYS helping those in need. So we explained to Ace that when we donate  money, we usually are careful to find out more and know that:

- we do not usually donate to individuals but organizations who have track record to help
- we usually donate to causes that turn the cash into help in kind... so the bring things needed instead of just money... cos sometimes money just gets "eaten" up along the way and none go to the people who need it

You see, also, sometimes HELP puts the helper (the one extending help) in a top position and the helpee (the one being helped) in a bottom position. It is an unequal relationship which may result in the help not being helpful but hurtful...

There is no problem with friends helping friends.. where there is true giving and no sacrifice and no hidden agenda..

But sometimes when one donates money blindly, the helper intention may be unconscionably just to say "I am better than you, so i can help you.." or they are giving to make themselves feel better about something they feel bad about.. and in this cases, this sort of giving and the energy tat comes with the money they give will not create good results.

THe helpee may end up trapped in the position where they are dependant and always have to take to survive and they will never get out of that trap and their lives will never get better. So it is always good to donate to organization that not only help with the most immediate needs but also one that can help them build their different future to become self sufficient. Both the helper and the helpee will NOT feel good about this help rendered too.

We wanted to take part in the well project because maintenance of the well and building of the well all done by the local villagers.. we found out later also that it started with the village head's vision of one day having water for his villagers... so it is like a seed that grows and if they manage it well, will continue to grow on and help them and they can be self reliant after this...

Anyway, we told Ace he can help Nepal either through Red Cross or SSA (which donated to Mercy Relief)...

On a side note, Ace said that his friends were making fun of the country name, Nepal because it sounded like the word "nipple"...

"So what did you do when you heard that.. did you join in?" I asked him..

"Of course not lah... I just gave them a black face and stare at them... then they stopped... My black face is very effective one... because I am bigger..." Ace said..

"Huh? Where bigger?" I asked him..

"As in I am taller lah.. not tat i am fatter okie.." he quickly replied.

I told him he is very ah beng leh... like gangster like tat.. go and stare at pple when he not happy.. Don't one day stare at the wrong person and get beaten up...

And then he said "Ya, cos I got gangster friends..." And went on to happily tell us how K, his friend always speaks in hokkien and is very gangster and says things like "Kuah simi kuah..... jiak simi... zoh simi... simi sai... " and how his teacher X is also gangster when young and so has a tattoo... and says things like "you want to do simi sai also can" (really???!)

I told him next time K says tat to him, he can tell him, "Kuah li jin yan dao lah.." wahahaha...

I reminded him though that I think he is old enough to choose friends himself but I hope he remembers that i trust tat he will be good influence on his friends rather than his friends be bad influence on him cos shouting at people in hokkien to "look cool" (actually being ah beng is not really very cool wat)  and staring at people is unfortunately not a good solution to most problems.

PS: The well has already been built. woohoo!:)

Previous Post: Math Olympiad

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Math Olympiad

The other day, Ace came home and told me that he has been selected to be trained in the pre-selection trial to take part in the math olympiad on behalf of his school.

Because 10 children in his class were selected, they have been named the Pla-TEN-ium group.

Because of this, he tries very hard at his math homework.. sometimes too hard..

Eg, this xiao kia will do EXTRA work he is not asked to do and end up do do do.. till 10pm then sleep.. and wake at 5am to finish it..

I think is cos he never pay attention in class and did not know what he has to do by when... grrr....

Anyway, after his exams, his teacher selected one more person to join the team and so they are called the First Eleven.

When he got his math results, he was a little sad and telling me that perhaps he will no longer be part of the group. Thank god he still is...

Anyway, since he is part of the group, I gave him an interesting question to see if he can do it..

It was a question that Max sent to me. He said he could not get the answer but I did:) haha.. actually the way the answer comes up is similar to that "When Is Cheryl's Birthday?" question that became very popular online a few weeks back.

Ace thought about it long and hard and kept mumbling to himself.. after half an hour and trying to give one answer which turned out to be wrong, he gave up:)

I explained the answer to him and asked him not to be too hard on himself for not getting it right as the difficulty level is as difficult as a math Olympiad question for secondary school students...

Next I will try get him to guess Cheryl's birthday! wahahahaa...

PS: Ace just told me that he has actually been put back in the HA Group and taken out of the olympiad team.. but actually he is more relieved than he is disappointed because he says it was too stressful and too much homework:) wahahaha

Previous Post: Authentic Indoesian Home Cooked Food!

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Authentic Indoesian Home Cooked Food!

We love indonesian food.

And I think we love it more than ever since our stint in Dubai. While we were in Dubai, indonesian food is our way of dealing with our home sickness. Every time we miss home we will eat at the indonesian restaurant near our place.

So over the years, it became a habit to eat there weekly.

Ironically, now that we are back home in Singapore, it is our reminder of our stint in Dubai cos I guess you could say it was the thing we ate most often there:) hahaha...

My grandma's helper, S, is a great cook. The other time, we made a date with S to eat dinner at her place ... we were all excited and even placed order for the various dishes that we want to eat...

Alas, 人算不如天算, Grandma left us the day we were supposed to eat the dinner.

THe other day, after all the funeral arrangements were completed, we were sorting out grandma's stuff and we were tasked with returning the oxygen machine we borrowed from my Aunty's boss... so since we had to pick up the machine we told S we shall make good on our date :)

Alas, S cooked so much I think we can could have asked my mum and sis along and it will still be enough:)

Max's favorite petai fried with toufu and tempeh..

One of the things we ordered often in Dubai.. quail egg fried with potato..  But the one we ordered was usually slightly spicy..

While we were laying out the table, Ace was bz drawing.. hahahaha

The meal had a very chinese element.. toufu tomato sichuan veg soup.. that S learnt how to cook by drinking wat my dad made:) wahahahaha

Ace placed order for his favorite veggie pattie..

After that, we hang around and sat around for a while... Ace was bored and when he saw this night light.. he couldnt help but do this... wahahahahahaha...

Previous Post: Good Boy Washed The Dishes

Friday, May 22, 2015

Good Boy Washed The Dishes

The other day, I asked Ace if he could please go wash his own cups in the sink.

He said, "OK!" And without a word, he went to put on my apron and started washing.

Not only did he wash all the cups that he used, he even washed up those dishes and cups that me and Max used.

Wah.. very impressed that he is such a sweet boy leh...

Only one thing though.. He took 45 minutes to wash these few cups and bowls... It is at best a 5-7 minute job but our good friend took 45 min.. I dun dare to think how much water he wasted.

But he spent alot of time soaping the cups repeatedly. I asked him if there is a need to take such a long time and his reply was..."Ya, have to make sure clean lah.. we put these in our mouths and eat with them leh..."

Ok ok.. I think I should be a little more encouraging right.. so I ZIPPED and told him I really appreciate him helping out and that he is a very good boy. I told him I posted a pic of him doing housework for me on FB and he recieved many likes from my friends and he was so happy :) wahahahaha...

PS: My good boy is very lazy most of the time though. THe other day we saw a toy he liked. I told him if he worked on household chores and I will pay him for the chores and he can earn the money to buy this toy he likes. He dun want wor, he rather give up! I guess he doesnt really want this toy SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much like he said..

Previous Post: I Made $5!

Thursday, May 21, 2015

I Made $5!

After nagging at Ace to please switch off the fan when he leaves the room but he just ignores our nice request, nagging and scolding... (Yes, in this order)

So leh, this calls for extreme resort.

I told him then every time he forgets to switch off the fan, I will take $5 from him.

I am happy to announce that I am now $5 richer! woohoo!!:)

Previous Post: Watching The Avengers

Watching The Avengers

Ace has been bugging us to watch the Avengers because "all my friends already watched the premier..."

I had to correct him...

Number 1, not ALL his friends must have watched the premier... maybe he can same one, or some, or even most.. but not ALL cos tat will not be true..

Number 2, in a movie, there is only ONE premier screening.. so it is not possible that the whole world went to watch it.. HOw do I know?

Of cos I know.. I used to be an entertainment reporter and used to be invited to such events!:)

Also, premier means the FIRST screening of the movie. FIRST... there can only be one FIRST screening.. right?:) hahahah

But well, since he so keen to watch and exams are over, we go lor.

 Ace was thrilled when he saw this sign.. cos he loves the minions..

And then he realized he is more than 90cm and so needs a ticket:) wahahahaha... so he made this handsign instead..

And what is a movie outing without some popcorn?

Alas, they ran out of plain water! Can you believe it? So Ace lucked out and we got him Fanta Grape.. hahaha..

He was so happy when he saw that his pop corn container says "Share a coke with A MOVIE STAR..." cos it means he is a movie star.. wahahaha...

Anyway, he was probably the one who enjoyed most.

FIrstly, it was a little ridiculous to me... we were there 10 min early and so went in ten min early.. we spent the first ten min watching advertisements.. and the next half an hour watching MORE advertisements. Really?? Is there a need to make me watch 40 minutes worth of advertisements... some which were repeated 2, 3 times? Golden Village....Now do you understand why people DO NOT want to watch movies in cinemas ANYMORE??? Hahaha.. my friend said it is because the show I am watching is called AD-Vengers.. so tat is why kenna a 40 min advertisement slot...

And then leh, the aircon was freaking cold lor..

Plus.. the movie was boring. Max says he almost fell asleep.. Ace was the only one who delcared the movie as awesome...

I mean, the story line was so complicated I can barely follow what is happening.. like I dun understand why they tried to create Ultron's body and created this green colored nice man with a cape that sounded like JARVIS...

Oh well, it was mainly for Ace that we went to watch the movie lah..

After that, we went to eat our favorite PUTIEN:) hee...

But leh, the beautiful day had to be spoilt by some bad attitude from Ace and some bad mood from me...

We were discussing the story line in the movie and I was trying to tease Ace by asking him funny questions and then he was trying to explain why the green colored man was created and said that man his JARVIS... so I said, "But he is not JARVIS wat.. JARVIS is that program that talks..."

And he went like, "What the hell!? You dunno one lah...."

Wah, I sibeh angry lor.

Firstly, I was the one who suggested to Max that we bring Ace to watch the movie...

Secondly, why he talk to his laobu use WHAT THE HELL... so rude leh.. so I din want to talk to him lor..

And then hor, I cannot understand why Max also never tell him off lor.

Anyway, we went home like tat lor.. in a sullen mood and then someone also quite dense.. reach home liao... bath and change into his PJs liao and then think think very long liao then come to and say sorry...

I explained to him that WHAT THE HELL is very rude. He shouldnt use it when he talks with his elders. And so tat was tat...

Previous Post: Can You Make This For Me Frequently?

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Can You Make This For Me Frequently?

Made a spider spaghetti where you cook spaghetti by with hot dog pierced through them to make something like a spider long time ago for Ace...

Some time back, he asked if I can make it for him again because he misses it... so I did.

After he finished it, he declared that he is very full and asked me whether "Can you make it for me frequently till I eat until I sian because I love it very much. It is very nice!"

Don't worry son, the holidays are coming, you can be sure you will have lots of chance to try my cooking!:) whahahahah... But well, I think need to stock up on vegeterian sausages!

Previous Post: Paper Switch Blade

Monday, May 18, 2015

Paper Switch Blade

Despite our best intentions, Ace still likes to make weapons...

Max said he might at well go and be arms dealer... Ace said he just likes to make them.. he is not going to use them... Cos he knows weapons are no good.. But I told him there are no weapons made to just be left lying around. Once a weapon is made, you can be sure it will be used... to kill or injure...

I asked him to go think about it.. how weapons may seem to be able to defend and protect us but will also kill alot of people.. innocent people...

But I don't know why, his phase of "I want to make weapons" is still there. When there are lego workshops, robotics workshops, he is not interested.. unless they are teaching him how to make weapons.

He also loves to watch Deadliest Warrior... which is a show that explores all the ancient weapons used and compares them to each other.

The other day, he started using cardboard to make a switch blade knife.

Over the course of the next few days, he added more and more things to it to modify it. So it is something he can flick open to show the blade and flick close. So that the right thing will flip open, he will remember to put stopper.. and he also came up with the idea to poke tooth picks through the cardboard and glue the two ends of the toothpick to allow the "blade" to swivel.

While I really do not like it that he likes to "make weapons" (is it any surprise that his idol in the avengers is Iron Man/ Tony Stark??), I was suitably impressed with his creations.

I think he chose to create this because his friend in school has a switch comb. It is a switchblade like thing with the blade made into a comb instead and he was going ga ga all over it and I already told him  I am not going to buy that for him because a switch blade.. nevermind they try to make it into a comb... is a dangerous weapon and not for play... Me and Max do not approve of weapons...

So leh, he made his own lor..

Well i hope this phase will go off soon and he will be into making things that will help change the world for the better!

Previous Post: Dating Again: Beer And Cheese Tasting

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Dating Again: Beer And Cheese Tasting

 So Max saw this Beer and Cheese tasting thing online and asked me if I wanted to go..

So I said ok lor:)

When we arrived, a chang tui mei mei with super long hair asked us to sit down.. and then after a while, she brought us this beer and cheese platter.. and explained to us the various beers.

 Me and Max decided to I take picture of you...

 You take picture of me:) hahahaha

 The platter comes with four different beers and four different types of cheese...

And it comes with very delicious onion jam!:)

I love the onion jam!

After we finished the platter, we carried on here for dinner. Max ordered a beer and he did not like it so much... when the laoban came over, he said ok he will change for Max and he really changed the beer at no charge! COOLZ.. plus he recommended some really nice beer also:)

 Max ordered tortilla chips and we were expecting something like Doritos but turned out tat they really use the tortilla skin to deep fry and the end result is something like fried curry puff skin!:) wahahaha.. But Max loves tat anyway.. so it was good..

 Then Max says must pose with his beer with some wierd pose...

 Everytime I see him in a wierd pose, I am reminded of how Ace likes to pose in wierd poses like tat where there is no eye contact with the camera!

 Like father like son indeed!

 After that, we went for a walk by the river and we saw these old uncles with bright lights on their electric bikes.. they had not just bright lights on the bikes.. but also on their helmets.. and even laser beams streaming out and they were blasting music loudly... like a mobile disco!

I think technology has not just impacted the young but the old too.

All the old uncles looking to express themselves or seek attention or enjoy life in one way or another are  embracing technology to make this happen.. Other than this group of uncles, I also noticed that kopitiam uncles are now bringing their own tablets and mobile speakers to play whatever music they want to listen while listening to music and drinking beer at the kopitiam..

Another day while walking on the streets, I saw an old uncle in his late 60s on a skateboard... and then he will skate around a little... and then hold his mobile speaker tat was blasting music and sort of dancing while skating! Hahahaha

After that, we sat by the river a little and decided to camwhore a little;)

Was a nice night but I was not feeling well so we called it an early night and went home ...

Previous Post: No Phone, Too Bad!

Saturday, May 16, 2015

No Phone, Too Bad!

I have decided I am no longer to lend Ace my phone.

Nevermind if it is difficult to contact him.

Nevermind if now I am short of one handy nanny when we go out. He can look for other ways to self entertain...

Nevermind if he sulks and throws a tantrum... because he deserves it...

Sometime the end of last year, I took out my old iphone and lent it to Ace. He was so happy and started downloading games lah... starting watsapp group with his friends lah... bringing it out wherever he goes lah...

I realized though that he has started to be really "addicted" to the phone. If we dun ask him to stop.. he can watch hours of youtube...

During exam period, I noticed that he will watch videos before bedtime and so I kept the phone and told him no phone during exam period if he cannot control himself.

I thought hor, that he learnt his lesson liao lor..  so after exams, I passed the phone back to him for him to "relax".

But I noticed that these few days... he has been suffering from dark eye circles... And also, it has been difficult to wake him up in the morning when he could jump out of bed promptly at 6.30 in the past.

And the other day, when I left him to sleep on his own and went out of the room, I came back in his room to ask him something and realized that he was chanting... I asked him why he was chanting and he said he was doing so because everyday when he goes to school, he feels like shit... so he chanting to have a good day the next day.

Next day, I asked him how was his day and he said it was not too bad. So I left it at that.

But last night.. after he had gone to bed, his dad asked me if he had brushed his teeth... it was already almost 9.45pm (his usual bedtime is 9pm) and so I went in to check if he is still awake...

He jumped up in fright when he realized I was in his room cos he was plugged on to his phone and so engrossed in it he did not see me till too late.

But Ace being Ace, he was also quick to tell me what happened before I even asked..

"I am watching video.." he said sheepishly...

So I told him I am not going to lend him my phone already anymore if he cannot discipline himself and know how to do the right thing at the same time.

Now all the dark eye circles, all the cannot wake up and feeling like shit makes sense....


Next day, he woke as usual and I prepared the same things as usual for him and never talk to him unless necessary...

Only when he returned home from school and kept calling me and I ignore him that he realized.. he forgot to do one thing.... APOLOGIZE...

After he apologized, I told him that I worry most that he is not strong or not healthy... If he does not take care now, when he is old, he will be sick easily... and it is no fun being sick...  Like Yeye, he is not even in his 70s yet but already cannot do this cannot do that because of his health issues... and it is no fun being sick. So have to take care when young.. I explained to him that when Yeye was young, he did not have people to take care of him and when he got older, he tried to take good care of himself but even so also will be sick.. what is more if he dun take care of himself since young...


I think hor, if he wants me to lend him the phone again, must 约法三章already.. Number one must chant 1 hour everyday... wahahahaha:) Number two, must pass the phone to me at 9pm everyday... hahahahaha... 

I will slowly think of number 3....

Previous post: Fail Meh?

Friday, May 15, 2015

Fail Meh?

Epitome of yaya-ness...

Usually, if Ace screws up in school, he will come home and tell me quickly before I ask any question.

Somehow when his dad is around, he Someone came home and told me he scored 4.5 out of something for 理解问答...then say scored 11 out of 24 for section A. I told him then he fail lor.. He still ask me, "Fail Meh? " Sigh.. CL2 fail.. Math also fail...

Previous Post:  Exam Woes.. For Me, Not Ace

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Exam Woes.. For Me, Not Ace

Ace's dad says Ace has BALLS OF STEEL..

I also think he has what my good friend, Chuck, calls "Balls as big as church bells..."

I have never seen anyone in my entire life nod so earnestly when asked if he wants to do well but work so hard at NOT WORKING for his exam!

Because the past few weeks has been somewhat of a roller coaster for me... My grandma was sick... And then she passed on and had to take care of the wake and funeral... And after that, I was recovering from all the exertion and also a little depressed as I had some form of stupid rash that made me itch all over at all times of the day for no good reason.. (which i eventually found out from the specialist that it is likely scabies... which were easy enough to rid of but means tonnes of washing to do at home..) and also had to bring Yeye to doctor as he is still losing alot of weight and making us worried as he has become super forgetful and even forgot that Ace is vegeterian..

So not really in the mood to nag at someone.. who rightly should be studying for his exams. 10 years old.. should be able to think and self study, right? WRONG! And I found out too late.

I wrote down all his exam stuff and then told him he should study this and that and prepare this and that.. cos I was worried that he dunno wat to do or how to prepare..

But leh, Mr Relac-lah just went on playing with his toys or watching tv whenever he had time. Whenever he has a chance to choose between work and play, he always chooses play...

The only time I really saw him studying hard was before H's birthday party which he wanted to attend.. cos i told him to attend, he needs to finish xx amount of stuff.

After that, he relac all the way. It is as if he thinks that all his paying attention in school and practice in just doing homework is enough. I dun think my son understands that most of his friends go for tuition and they would have alot more practice that he does.

I am fine even if his strategy is play play play and cheong all the way in the last few days.

Alas, his strategy is play play play and the last few days. Maybe hor, because he feels that he used this strategy and scored decent for his tests... so he thinks he can do the same for exam.

But also, I am very curious whether in Singapore, will you be able to do well if you just did what we do in Dubai. So I made a decision that I will not nag him to study. I tell him that it is his choice if he wants to study and he has to bear the consequences himself.

But that is easier said than done. Everytime I see him walking around the house with no real reason, reach for the remote control to watch tv, look at his phone to watch youtube... I am filed with frustrations.

I try to calm myself down and while I will not ask him to do anything but remind him he still has xx chapters not done, when we go to school and have one on one time, I just WANT to nag at him...

I tried explaining to him about goal setting... i explain him to him about chasing after rewards and doing one's best with all the 成功学 stuff I have learnt.... I gave him good reason to chase after that goal and to avoid "punishment"... but most of the time, he shrugs and say, "I don't care..." And really dun care wor!

With his don't care attitude, he did his first paper and came home to declare that English was very easy!

Then leh, was his math paper. He also din care and choose to watch tv, this and that...  Though I am not too worried since he had lots of extra practice given by his teacher, he came home and told me.. "Mummy, I tell you something, you dun scold me ok.. I think I won't do well for math.. I cannot finish the last part story sums.. so i cried in school after the paper..."

My reply? "Of course cannot finish lah, whenever you do math, you always work so slowly.. and you never practice with a full paper so you are accurate but not fast enough... "

I set a target for him to score 90 and above for all and 65 for Chinese to get permission to buy his own now that he has missed out on 4 x 4 marks of story sums which he did not complete, means likely his math buang... So I asked him if he is going to give up..

"No, I am not going to give up.." he said resolutely...

And then that was it.. we never talked about it again. I dun want to stress him since he has two other papers..

But hor, I dunno where his resolution came from. One hour later, he still sitting there and slowly eating with the tv on.. I buay tahan and switched TV off and then he say he want to go and bath... and then he say he want to take a nap... I asked him he got time meh, tomm chinese and he hasnt finished studying for Chinese....

His all time BEST reply.. "Cannot meh?" And he looked really shocked at the suggestion that he shouldnt take a nap. It was not like he was retorting.. but he was really shocked  at the idea that there is another strategy called not napping and just studying..

I really peng san!

One and a half hours after he told me about his math test buang since he returned home, I found him reading Dairy of a Wimpy Kid on my bed while shaking his leg though he said he wanted to take a nap...

I only have one comment for that... "Well done!" My friends tell me to chill and say resting is so they can travel furthur wor...

Finally, 10 min later, he came out and asked for a hug, I asked him hug for what since he doenst need energy to study now.. he says I want to study now...

And then we hugged...

And he spent the next 15 min walking around the house for dunno wat reason before he FINALLY sat down to "study".

At his bed time, he did not manage to finish all the things he had to do but becos it is too late, he just go go bed lor.

Next morning when I walked to school with him, I couldnt help but want to nag at him again.

On one hand, I pity him lor. But I really tried hard not to interfere but I look at his attitude i really buay tahan. I told him he has two papers left and he can make a decision to give his all now so tat at least he dun regret for the two papers. And then as for the rest... i guess have to leave it to Gohonzon...

The next day, he had guitar lessons so I went to pick him after school. HIs friends tagged along when we went to Mac Donald for lunch and they baotoh him and told me that he recieved his math paper already.

According to Ace, when he got his paper, he only scored 60+... and then he was quite sad. His math teacher told him and a few other people who were in the high math ability group that he is very disappointed with them as they all scored quite low... (Apparently Mr H was so sad tat he said he went JB to eat till 3.30am then go home.. wahahaha)

But his math teacher tried to help him and go through his paper to help him find extra points so that he can boost his results.

So in the end, he scored 70 or so... He says cannot tell me his actual result because he promised his teacher cannot tell yet..

His friend T also scored 70+ and said he is going to get caned by his mum as she expected 90 and above. He asked me.. "You not going to cane Ace?"

"No lah, I didn't like being caned when I was young. Anyway, it is his exam, he bear his own consequences.." I told T.

"So good.." T said.

Ace looked quite pleased because I think he realizes how lucky he is... and also I think he is glad his friends think his mom is cool!:) wahahaha

I am amazed his two friends who tagged along wanted to stay on with us even though there is an exam the next day. Finally, one of them got a call to go home and I made the other one study with Ace for their science exam.. wahahaha.. I am afterall still a parent...

Anyway, I will just LUNZ... till end of exams.. we shall see if really zoh boh and relac really still means good results! hahaha...

PS: When I was buying him dinner after his guitar lesson, I asked Ace whether he is disappointed with his math results... "I was a little sad when I saw my results but now I am ok.. Because I still have one more paper to come and I am going to push all the way..."

Indeed... have to think positive that his short term memory at all failures will help him PUSH ON ALL THE WAY.. hahaha:)

I told Max about this and his response was that at least he still feels sad... which is a good sign... Very Ah Q... I know...

Previous Post: Rich Friends

Monday, May 11, 2015

Rich Friends

Ace always seem to be surrounded by "rich" people.. or just friends who self proclaim to be very rich.

When he was in Dubai, he had this good friend who keep talking about how rich he is and says when he grows up he wants to invent a powder that makes pple smell rich :) haha..

Now that he is in Singapore, he will still come home and tell me about this good friend of his, T, who also claims to be very rich and has rich relatives..

So J always talks about how rich he is and what sort of rich, expensive presents his cousins give him and what sort of toys he can buy...

Sometimes if I find Ace talking too much about that, I asked him if he is envious and tease him about it... "Maybe you can ask T's father if they can make you their son also... then you can also have rich parents who buys you all sorts of awesome toys!:)"

But he says he wouldnt trade parents for anything in the world.. haha:)

Previous Post: Mothers' Day Present

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Mothers' Day Present

It is mother's day... and everyone has been showing off all the cute little thing that their children made in school for them.

My sis and my cousins were discussing about what their children made or gave them and my sis was saying how all the gifts made by C were done with teacher's help.. not really from C on his own initiative.

I told her my son is of the age where he can take initiative.. but also, nothing is done lor.. so dun expect too much.. have something is still better than me... no teachers to remind him, I bet i will get nothing...

Then fast forward to one day before Mothers' Day.

Ace was invited to go for a birthday party. I was a little surprised that any SINGAPOREAN parent will hold a party on the weekend. Not any weekend.. but the weekend just before all 4 papers of exams! What is more, the party is not a fast one.. it is a 3-9pm party!

I tot all singaporean parents are kiasu and concerned about exams! But alas, not only we met someone who is not like tat.. the party was a big one and many other little boys had parents who allowed them to go... wow.. I suddenly dun feel like I am a very relaxed parent compared to my peers.. hahaha..

Anyway, I told Ace that if he wants to go, he can but he can only go for two hours and only if he completes some of the studying I have set out for him to do.

He said ok.. and that was that. Because he had not been studying for his exams at all, I worried most about his 10 units of words he had to learn and told him he has to learn the words for units 1-3 by Fri and 4-6 on Saturday before he can go.. That was Wed. So he had three days to do one day one or one day two.

But our friend chose to watch tv and this and that till friday then one shot cheong for 3 units. And then Sat morning woke early to cheong for another 3 units. He was happily doing it till hor, at 3pm.. one of the party guests, who was also his classmate came and looked for him at our door!

After he saw his friend, he started whining and growling as he studied. THen he asked if he could go off earlier if he finished earlier. I said no, he goes off earlier, he comes home earlier.. and then our friend went full fledge into a tantrum... complained why other people can go to the full party but he only can go two hours.. and why he cannot go off early if he finish early...

I reminded him that he only is in position to negotiate with me IF he finishes early.

And then he did the full dramatic works...

I see liao I also gek sim lor... I reminded him that he agreed to only go for two hours. He had alot of other things to study as well...

And then because I was so fed up, I told him that I am totally disappointed with his behaviour... "Did you know these few days everyone showing off what presents their children bought or made them for Mother's Day... my son's present... after I wake early to help him with this and that.. after I despite not feeling well try my best to help him with his work... is a big tantrum over something he agreed to previously..."

"I also got present for you lor!" He said.. and ran off...

After a while, he came back with these two things he made...

 Love the card.... but not so impressed with the spelling:) wahahahaha... This gives you insight to how "GOOD" Ace's Chinese is:) wahahaha...

 It actually even smells nice cos he pasted this pinkish thing... guess wat is it.. i tot is glue tat smells nice but I was wrong... it is hand sanitizer...

 He also made a minion puppet.. that you can put your finger in..

 Like this...

 When I flipped over there is this slit there and I asked why there is a slit there... he said it is to put in a stick if you have one...

The heart he made during chinese class... Thanks, Mr X for reminding them!!!

The other one he made on his own..

A few days later, we walked past a shop selling those velcro bows you can "paste" on your hair and not leave a kink in it. He saw that it was $1 and said he will buy one for me as a mothers' day present.. and so he chose a sparkly heart one for me...

Feels so warm and happy when I put it on my hair.. Thank you very much Ace!

Alas, I think my best present is that he will grow up to be a  healthy, successful and useful person who can contribute to the world.

Previous Post: You Bully Me/ 太欺负人了