Wednesday, October 31, 2007

So Cute!

I like children with fringe in their hairsyles.

Whenever I see little boys or little girls with straight fringe falling down on their foreheads, I would think to myself, "So cute!"

However, Ace hair in front is a little wavy and most of the time it is swept to one side.

The other day, for some unknown reason, it was all swept to the front and very straight. So I quickly took some pictures.

So cute and so handsome right?!

Previous Post: Full Time Motherhood

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Full Time Motherhood

Since Max left, I have really become a full time mother.

In the past, I really had a very good life. I would sleep till 10 or 11 am in the morning and then wake. By then, Ace would already have bathed, taken his breakfast and done a whole lot of other things. I would then drink my fruit juice and then I would go happily type my emails, surf my net while my mum would entertain Ace Chua.

And then by 12noon, I would come out to the living room, play with Ace a little bit, and then by 12.30, put him in a chair and get Lao ma to feed him.

During lunch, I get to go to my room again and do my own stuff and by the time I am done, Ace has just finished his lunch.

Then I would play with him for about an hour and put him to bed and I am left with more time during his snooze.

By the time he wakes, it would be about 5pm. Usually by then, he is happy to entertain himself or if not, Daddy will be back home to play with him and by 6pm, I am out of the house. By the time I come back, he is either asleep or Max will rock him to sleep.

Since Max left, life has been really quite tough.

Waipo's school concert is coming so for the whole of this month, she will be working full day shifts which means that she needs to leave for work at 9am everyday and since Waigong is the one sending her to work, whether I like it or not, I have to wake up at 9am every day.

While that may not seem early to you, try matching it with a 4am sleeping schedule (that is wat time I usually sleep now that Max is in the middle east) and you can imagine how tortorous it must be.

Now, instead of a relaxed day of doing my own stuff and being a mother when I got the time, I need to be a mother ALL the time.

Every morning, at 8plus, Ah Yee will walk in and out of my room and as Ace is quite a light sleeper, he will wake by then and ask for milk. Usually, he will go to Waigong for milk.. BUT not before he wakes me for a short while first and I am disturbed from my beauty sleep.

After that, I will try to fall back into lalaland because I am so tired. Sometimes Ace will do his own stuff, sometimes he will come and bug me and just as I am about to fall asleep, Waipo will say, "Wake up ah, we going off and Ace is awake."

And then I will switch on the TV an sit there and watch sesame street with him. If I am really tired, I lie on the sofa, wasted and he will come and jump up and down on my body. And because I am afraid he will fall off, I cannot close my eyes for longer than 3 seconds and have to be constantly alert to protect my body (he jumps really hard on your tummy and breasts and that's really painful) and to pull him in case he loses balance and falls.

By about 10am, Waigong will reach home and then I will get off the sofa, go wash up, drink my juice and after that, it is non stop mummy duty.

From 10-12.30pm when he has lunch, I need to keep playing with him or watch TV with him. I cannot go out of the room or he will cry... and sometimes he has his own idea of wat to play. "Mama, zhou..." He holds my hand and pulls me along.. "Throw ball..."

Or on another day, it may be, "Mama... shui jiao.." But he just wants me to play pillow fight with him.

Or maybe, it is going to the computer and watching that Thomas the Train or that Hi-5 clip for 5000 times until I can sing the WHOLE DAM SONG.

By 11am, usually I am really really tired. Especially the previous night was a 4am night and I would lie on the sofa and close my eyes and I just switch on the tv and let him do whatever he likes because I am so tired I just cannot move.

And even Indinine and VPlus dun help... I am so tired I sometimes wonder if I am pregnant again (which is not possible since yi ma just visited me).

I would fall into zombie land and by 1.30-2pm, I will start to be awake again. Then I will have to rock him to sleep.

During this nap time, I quickly try to catch another nap and then by 5pm, I am out at office. Travelling in tiring but to cut cost a little, I usually take cab there but take MRT home.

By the time I reach home at 10 plus 11, I still have to listen to my mum complain about what Ace did when i was not around...

And by 12, my mum still start to nag me to bring Ace to sleep and I would be so torn cos his dad usually logs on at this time. Should I let them talk to each other or should I put Ace to sleep. Doesnt help that there was alot of hiccups for the set up of skype and the network is not stable.

Come 12plus, Waipo will nag and ask me why I never let Ace sleep and repeat that children who sleep late will become stupid. And then, I will go to bed with Ace. And I have to lie there and wait for Ace to fall asleep and after that, go back to login and see if I can talk to max somemore...

The next day, the cycle repeats...

Shagged ah!

PS: Many thanks to many who read my blog and sent me encouraging SMS/msg like GH, HJ, Annie, WL and Ganma SL... Many thanks, I will jia you! :P

Previous Post: Beat Baby

Monday, October 29, 2007

Beat Baby

Ever since Daddy left for Bahrain, Ace has been hitting other people.

Whenever he is upset or angry or grumpy, he will hit other people. Usually, the poor, innocent victim is "Lao Ma"...

He hits laoma so often and so hard that now when Laoma sees him, she will try to siam him in case he hits her. What exasperates me further is that when I try to stop him and explain to him it is not right to hit people and ask him to do the three step system of:
  1. Say sorry to laoma
  2. Sayang laoma
  3. Hug, hug laoma and tell her "I still love you..."
Most of the time, when he gets to step two.. in the midst of his sayang and stroking her, he will start hitting her again.

To make things worse, he starts to also hit Popo, hit me, hit Ah Yee, hit Waigong... That day he even hit Nainai and Yeye... Sometimes he also goes and pinch Waigong till the finger nail marks will scratch Waigong's skin.

Through it all, Ah Net is the only one who WAS safe. That is... until that day when he took out the stool and aimed it at Net Net's head. The next day, he took out the stool and slammed it at Waigong's head.

I am already at my wit's end.

I tried talking to him and explaining to him that it is wrong to hit people. It did not work. He would say OK OK OK OK.. high five with me and then continue to hit people.

I tried asking him about why he wants to hit people, he just says, xx angry. Sometimes it is Papa, sometimes it is Mama.. sometimes it is the person he hits.

I tried hitting him. It did not work. The worst thing is that I know that hitting him doesn't work at all but it was really at last resort that I did it because i don't know what else I can do anymore.

Talking to other mummies for advice also did not help as even though I carried out all their advice, Ace will get a little better and resume his violence.

The last straw came when Ace went to a meeting with Waipo and went to hit another one year old baby three times.

That made Waipo very embarrassed and upset and in the end, not only did Ace receive a beating from her, poor me also kenna a very long and winded scolding and therefore, I am in a super bad mood now.

I told Waipo, "If you want to cane him, go ahead. I already gave you the permission because I also dunno what else I can do. I won't blame you for it. But dun try to ask me to teach him or discipline him the way you want to. If you want to hit him, do it yourself, dun FORCE me to do what you want to do..."

I am really pissed lor. I am not Ace leh. I am just his mother. Just because of that, I have to be responsible because he hits other people? And it is not as if I did not try to stop him but I just havent found out a good way to do so. Can't she cut me some slack? I am also trying my VERY VERY BEST already lor. Does it mean that if I beat Ace to death then she will be happy?

Then waipo start to complain, "What happens when he goes into the outside world? Doesn't he need to learn to relate to people? It is so competitive outside.. blah blah blah..."

I really dunno what is the big deal. If he goes outside and hits other people, I am sure they also not stupid and will hit him back.. and then he will understand the cause and effect mah... and what is such a big deal right.. he would not hit people forever wat.. at least I am sure this is just a phase that he goes through...

HAI... really dunno wat to do with this baby. My infinite patience towards this matter is running very thin... last resort, I told him if he hits other people, I will hit him.. But I feel guilty after that because somehow I feel that that is not the right approach...

I also feel bad because in POV, we are told that children are our sub concious mind. It makes me wonder if there is alot of anger or aggression in me that I have suppressed and makes me think like, "Oh gosh, I am a bad person!"

This is really very very demoralizing. Feel like a failure as a mum and also feel really moody. I think I will raise my hands and ask about this during Hanxuan's POV.

I wish I could tie Ace up so that he cannot move. Or maybe let him watch 24hrs of BARNEY a day in the high chair. Then he would not have a chance to hit anyone and I can enjoy my peace..

Higher mind ah higher mind, what are you trying to ask me to heal?

Previous Post: Mama, Hungry!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Mama, Hungry!

I think Ace is growing now....

Probably growing alot. I think by the time Daddy comes back, he will realize that Ace is much much taller.

That's because Ace has been having a really good appetite for the last few days.

After he finished his lunch, which was a really really huge bowl of porridge, he came to me and told me, "Mama, hungry!" And then he started asking for food, for biscuits...etc.

But for fear that he would get too full and because if he doesnt get food when he is grumpy he will turn cranky, I did something out of ordinary. I passed him a piece of fruit fright after a meal.

And he had such a good time chewing on the prune. It looked almost like some prune ad ;) haha.. Makes me want to reach for a prune now as well... ;)

Previous Post: Ace-thoven

Saturday, October 27, 2007


World famous singer, composer and lyricist, Ace-thoven , composed his first song called, “Wo yao ice cream!”

I had just returned home at 5.30am after a massive intensive san ba session with Jez Ah Ma. Turned out that because Ace did not see me when he reached home tat day, he woke at 5am and waited for me to come home.

The moment he saw me, he started to become very animated and started talking to me excitedly and telling me what happened when he went over to Nai Nai’s place to stay.

And suddenly, he just started singing… Dun ask me how the tune goes.. cos I dun remember. What I do remember is that the lyrics are very simple and straight to the point.

‘Wo yao ice cream!”. (I want ice cream)
‘Wo yao ice cream!”.
‘Wo yao ice creeeeeeeeam!”.
‘Wo yaaaaaaaaaaaaao
ice cream!”.

Not bad hor ;)

Today he had a new song as well. This time round, it is “Wo ai ice cream…. Wo ai ice cream… Wo ai ice cream” (I love ice cream)

I asked Yeye and he said they bought ice cream for him yesterday. No wonder he is so excited.

Talking about ice creams, just the other day, Clari brought Ace out for a walk and gave him some ice cream as well. Even though they did not tell him what flavour it was, the moment he took a mouthful, Ace said, “Mmmmm… liu lian!”

Clever or not?

Previous Post: Mama, Xie Xie

Friday, October 26, 2007

Mama, Xie Xie

Well, something happened that really brightened my day that day.

When I woke up, Ace was holding on to one of his toys and playing it on bed beside me. Seeing that he was happy by himself, I went back to bed.

Suddenly, he started to cry and kept pulling at my hand.

"Sun sun!" he said and he kept pulling my hand to touch the bed railings. I really did not understand what he was trying to say so I took my hands away. The moment I removed my hands, he cried louder and pulled it back to the railings again.

So I told him, "Ace ah... I don't understand what you are trying to say when you are crying. If you are sad and cry, mummy will be patient and wait for you to finish crying. But if you want something and cry while you say it, mummy cannot understand you, ok?"

He stopped crying immediately and said, "Ok."

And then he pointed to my hand and the railing and said, "Sun.."

I connected my heart with his heart and suddenly understood what he was saying. I looked into the hole between the railing and the wall and true enough, he had dropped the toy he was playing with. It was a pink, furry thing which looked like a sun. He dropped it and wanted me to pick it up for him.

I put my hand in and told him, "See, mummy's hand is not long enough so cannot pick it up..."

And he looked resigned to fate that it cannot be picked up.

After giving it some thought, I decided to go an extra mile and went to get an umbrella to hook the toy out. I hooked it out and passed to him and then walked out of the room thinking nothing of it as it was my 'duty' as a mother to help him....

"Mama, xie xie..."

I thought I heard wrongly... "huh?" I asked him...

So he ran out, bowed he head and told me, "Mama, xie xie!"

Wah... the sweetest words I have heard!

My Ace actually being able to express appreciation and thank me without anyone telling him to do it at 2 years old! All that POV exercise to forgive my parents and appreciate them more must be working!

PS: I said I will wait for him to finish crying because it is not good to hold back our feelings. Better to feel them and burn them off so they dun stay inside us ;) So next time your kid cries of throws a tantrum, cut them some slack and let them feel their feelings.. you dun want a zombie with no feelings or a good, nice but DEAD son or daughter do you?:P

Previous Post: Massage

Thursday, October 25, 2007


Ace is very good at massaging ;)

If you dun believe me, when you see him, tell him, "Ace, massage!" and point to where you want to massage...

He is good because firstly, he has various techniques- kneading, pressing, chopping, pushing...

And very importantly, he has quite alot of strength so it is really quite comfortable. The only thing is that he has a short attention span so his massages at most lasts for 30-60 seconds ;) hahaha..

He is happy to help you massage again as long as you make the "oooh, ahhh..." sort of noise and tell him it is very comfortable and thank him after tat :)

Previous Post: Ru Yi You

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Ru Yi You

This is not an advert.

However, the following really happened...

Because Waigong came back from a short trip to genting and bought many of those heaty biscuits, Ace had a great time eating them but forgot to drink lots of water.

In the end, he was slightly constipated for two days.

The first day... he did not poo for one whole day (which is very very rare cos he usually poops 2-3 times a day) and by night time, he suddenly ran to popo and gave her a very constipated look, Popo took off his diapers and saw some stains of shit and made him sit down on the tam pui to poot poot.

20 minutes later when I reached home, he was still sitting on the tam pui with a constipated look and so Popo applied some ru yi you for him and rubbed his tummy... after a while though, finally a small lump of shit came out.

The next day, he came to me and said, "Mummy, Da Bian!"

But there was no shit coming out. So I told him after a while, "Let me know later when you feel like shitting again ok?"

And then I went back doing my translation work.. halfway through, he ran into Popo's room and became really quiet. So I ran in to see what he was doing.

He was on tip toe and trying to reach for that ru yi you.... when he saw me, he pointed to the ru yi you, lifted his shirt to show his tummy and rubbed his tummy.

"You want me to apply for you?" I asked him.

"Mama, cha (which is chinese for apply)... Mama, cha..." he told me and so I applied for him. Waigong bought some bananas for him that day and I am happy to say that he has started shitting normally again ;)

Previous Post: Future Stomp Drummer

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Future Stomp Drummer!

Think Ace has a talent for music and rhythm ;)

He is good at playing drums...

And Daddy says that his tonality is so good that when he hears songs and sing them again when there is no music, his tone is even more accurate than Daddy! ;) hahaha...

Previous Post: Fun With Yeye

Monday, October 22, 2007

Fun with Yeye

Going to Yeye's house is always alot of fun...

Yeye and nai nai will teach him some songs and he is always happy to sing along..

Ace's current fav: Pai pai zuo
Ace singing his favourite rhyme.. think Nainai taught him this cos they expect my next child to be a MEIMEI.. hiaks :)

Some nursery rhyme in teochew that great grandfather taught Yeye

Previous Post: Duckie Song

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Duckie Song

Ace was looking for sesame street in the PC but because the website was down, I played a song I found in YouTube... and Ace likes it very much! ;)

Previous Post: Goal!

Saturday, October 20, 2007


This is one happens when your son has a soccer fanatic as a father:)

Previous Post: Expressions

Friday, October 19, 2007


Ace has been learning about expressions.

If you draw a happy face and ask him to be happy, he will give you a smile and do a happy face.

And then when I draw a zig zag mouth, he will say it is an angry face and say, "Angry..."

The funniest part is when you draw a sad face, he will tell you "sad" and imitate the drawing.. so cute! hahahah...

Previous Post: Yan Dao

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Yan Dao

We told Ace that he is very handsome.. and then we taught him to say, "Ace is yandao..." and do the very 'yandao' pose ;)

Now, this confident little boy would always do the handsome yandao pose whenever he sees the camera...


Previous Post: Your Job Is To Be Happy

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Your Job Is To Be Happy

As a parent, your job is to be happy. Because if you are happy, your children will be happy.

As a child, your job is also to be happy because only when you are happy, your parents will be happy.

You see, we all know that having a happy life is great. If we had a good life, had lots of money, a good job, loving partners and wonderful children, it would be all so wonderful. But how many people around you do you know that really has a good and happy life?

And the interesting thing is this...

Let me ask you a question... there is no right or wrong answer. Just answer truthfully, intuitively and don't think too hard.

If you are not happy with your life right now, is it because you feel that if you were too happy, you would let your parents down?

Do you feel that you would be betraying your parents if you had a much better life than them?

Do you believe that you are unfillial if your parents had a terrible life and you lead a wonderfully happy life?

If your answer is yes to any of the above questions, then you got it the wrong way.

Too many of us stay unhappy so that we could be good children.

If you had any children, be it a son or a daughter, you would want them to be happy, wouldn't you?

Remember, we are the arrow and our parents the bow. We have come so that we can go furthur than them. If you are happy, you could share your gift of happiness with them. If you had a good life and lots of abundance, you could share it with them!

I mean, if you saw a little girl playing on her own and having fun while her parents led sad, unfulfilling lives, would you scold her and say, "How dare you make your parents unhappy. You shouldn't have a life because they don't too!"

We make ourselves miserable but keep wanting others to be happy. How does it work?

If your parents are unhappy, and you say to yourself, "Let me make myself even more unhappy!" That sounds insane, doesn't it? But that is exactly what alot of us are doing.

If we want to be really successful in life, we need to understand that the what and the how are the same thing.

Eg, if we made a million dollars by being mean, we will feel mean no matter how much or how little money we make.

If we made the money by working hard, at the end of the day, we only have hard work no matter how much money we make.

If you want money and success, you have to act and think successfully and not by doing anything else. So if you want happiness, you have to act and think happy!

We came as a gift of happiness to our parents, all we need to do is to switch on the switch and think and act happy.. this happiness will come back and you will make your parents happy as well.

But our ego has tricked us into telling us that our happiness lies in something outside of ourselves.

So remember, happiness is within you! Be happy and share it with your parents. Your children will learn from YOUR example :)

Previous Post: Oh! Shit!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Oh! Shit!

It's a shitty world lately...

Remember that I had just toilet trained Ace so that he could tell us if he wanted to pee?

Well, I think we kind of succeeded doing the potty training for the shit part as well.

The other day, I was enjoying my beauty sleep in my room and suddenly, my dad screamed very loudly, "Da gua! Kuai dian lai! Da bian ah!"

I was jolted into waking up and ran to the kitchen and this is what my saw..

My son was standing there, with his pants down and there was this pile of shit beside him.... And there was this guilty look on his face.

To make him feel better.. and of course, because I really did find it funny, I started to laugh! "hahahahahaa......"

Then Waigong explained that Ace ran to him and said, "Wai gong sh sh..." So my dad pulled his pants down and put the urinal in front of him and the end result was that two lump of shit came out from the back...

"Hahahahaah... Ace, you are so clever leh. Now you can tell us when you want to shit already.. HIGH FIVE!" I told him.

"Next time you have to say properly ok? In front one is sh sh... if behind one is da bian.. ok? High five you clever boy!"

And the smile returned to his face and then I proceeded to clean up the mess.

After that, he was really happy and started stand by the childgate in front of the kitchen and kept saying, "waigong, da bian!" and then cackle into laughter.

So cute.

But the next day, he came to me in the afternoon and said, "Mama, mama... sh sh... sh sh....!"

He looked really urgent so I fly towards the tam pui and then pulled his pants down and placed the tam pui in front of his johnny.

And then he started to give a constipated look and I knew he was going to shit. So I shifted the tam pui to his backside and asked him, "You want to da bian is it?"

"No!" he insisted firmly and pushed the tam pui back to the front.

I put it behind is bottom and asked him, "Da bian is it?"

"No! No! No!" he insisted and pushed it to the front.

The end result. One drop of pee came out together with two lumps of shit! Hahahaha...

Now, Ace only wears pants at home and only puts on diapers when he is sleeping and when he is going out. Wah.. save money ah! Not bad POV abundance comes in many ways indeed!

Previous Post: I can use chopsticks

Monday, October 15, 2007

I can use Chopsticks!

Ace can feed himself quite well now and not make a mess.

He is good with the spoon and fork and is improving quickly with the chopsticks as well.

He cannot hold the chopsticks properly like us but he still manages to feed himself...

So cute...

Previous Post: Supermarket Shopping

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Supermarket Shopping

Well, the other day I was supposed to be nanny and since I had nothing much do do, I decided to bring Ace along when I went shopping for his milk powder.

Initially, I had a plan to go there, walk around the whole supermarket and explore before we bought anything.

I remembered my mum telling me that I had to bring a small paperbag with something inside and ask Ace to hold it for me so that he will hold on to me with one hand and the other hand will not be free to touch anything else.

Alas, I forgot to bring the paperbag and so I tot I would replace that with a basket.

The moment he got the basket though, he dragged it to all the fruits and started to take two of everything.. oranges, apples... and I got so busy trying to put everything back that i decided in the end to just buy the milk powder and go home.

But since he was a good boy (walking throughout the whole journey instead of asking me to carry him), I bought him a piece of bread and he happily ate it on his way home.

I think now that Daddy is not in SG, I shall refrain from bringing him supermarket shopping for quite a while.. muahaha....

Previous Post: Self Portraits

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Self Portraits

Remember me talking about how Ace is trying to take pictures?

Well, the other day, I sat down and taught him step by step how to use my camera to take a photo of himself.

Told him which button to press and that he should put the camera away from him...

After two tries, he got it.. and here are his first two self portraits ;)
Not bad hor?:P

Previous Post: About Your Parents

Friday, October 12, 2007

About Your Parents

I have been talking about our relationship with our parents so much these days because in actual fact, how good a parent we are and very importantly, how much we enjoy parenthood is really dependent on how good our relationship with our parents is.

If we have alot of judgment against our parents, we will never feel we are good parents or even if we did all the good things that good parents do, we will never really enjoy parenthood ;)

Alot of times, when we complain about our parents.. because they are our parents, we let them win. We let them scold us, hit us or treat us bad so that we could win them. We play a victim role and then we complain, "See, my parents are so lousy and they treat me so bad..."

But victims are in actual fact full of attack, anger and violence. In actual fact, there is no difference whether you are the prey or the predator.

Victims want things to go their way and want to prove that they are right and the other person is wrong.

Victims let other people win over them (eg, they let them hit them or scold them or treat them nasty) but will end up playing on this guilt the other party has for the rest of their life. And I think most children I know, including myself play this game.

See, you din do this.. that is why I am like that. See, you didn't do that, that is why I am like that. See, you didn't treat me well, that is why I have lack of self worth and am not successful in life. See, you were bad to me, that is why I am poor now.

Mostly, when we dun lead successful, abundant, happy lives (which is actually a NATURAL part of our human lives), we are just revenging on our parents because "THEY WERE BAD!"

But until we really forgive the other person, we will also not stop feeling guilty for treating them so badly.

What we do to others, we are in fact, doing to ourselves.

Understand your parents
Here is a good way you could use to get rid of all the unfinished business you had with your parents. You could give it a try, or you could call it fluff. If you did and improved your relationship with your parents, I am happy for you. If not, you could just treat this as additional reading material.. hahaha ;) For me, I just wanted to share with you what I learnt because I felt it was so important for me...

First, think of the three biggest grieviances that you have about your parents.

Secondly, identify how you felt when your parents did that to you. Were you a victim or victimizer?
When you have a victim and a victimizer, how the victim felt after that is exactly how the victimizer felt when he was inflicting the pain on the victim. Everyone in the same situation will feel exactly the same way.

And most importantly, after that the victim will either stay in the victim role and wait for other people to victimize them or they will do unto others what has been done to them.

Eg, if a person felt abandoned by parents when she is young, she will grow up to have her business partners or partners abandoning her OR she will abandon them before they abandon her.

But alot of times we need to track what that person was feeling then and we would know what the parents was feeling. They were probably feeling unloved and abandoned too. A person with happy life and caring parents wouldn't abandon their own children, would they?

Or if your parents belted you... think of it this way, if your parents were happy and well loved children when they were young and always had alot of love around them, would they become parents who belt their own children?

(Just FYI, if we believed that our parents abandoned us, it means we believed that god has abandoned us.)

Third step is to make a choice: LOVE and FORGIVENESS
But actually, there is a simple way out.. especially in the case of victim and victimizer between parents and children... and that is love. All you need to do is choose love.

When we think of our parents in that particular situation then, what were they feeling and how could we help her? We will realize we just need to love them. Most 'lousy' parents act that way because they never felt like anyone has ever known them.

That is because when we really know someone, we cannot help but love them and look past their mistakes, their body and when we really do know them, we will love them.

If we feel our parents do not understand us, that is because we never really took time to understand them. So the way out is to try to understand them and don't stop until we really knew them because if we knew them, we would love them.

All we need to do is to forgive them, forgive ourselves and love them.

It is not possible for others to make us feel what we do not already feel. It is impossible for anyone to abandon or reject you. Neither is it possible for anyone to make you feel upset or hurt etc.

So when you feel that way, what is actually happening is that you are actually abandoning or rejecting them. When you stop concentrating on abandoning and hurting people you will stop feeling that your life is meaningless because you will feel their love.

Previous Post: Grumpy Ace

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Grumpy Ace

Ace has been rather grumpy lately...

He would cry for attention and if he doesn't get what he wants, he will cry loudly and most of the time, you see him give this sad face.

And he is also rather sticky. Everything he does, be it sleeping or playing or eating.. he always asks for "Daddy." If you ask him to sleep and Daddy is not around, he throws and tantrum and doesn't want to sleep.

Seems like the only time he is contented and happy is when he is playing with Daddy.

I think it is because he knows.. that Daddy will be going overseas and is already missing him in advance.

For those who dunno... Max will be going overseas to the middle east for work for two months. Max says that this is the longest ever he has been away from me and he really cannot bear to leave.. especially now Ace is here with us...

Needless to say, I am also sad as I have never been away from him for so long...

Thanks to POV and SNC.. I have gotten over most of my fears.

However, I am just worried for Ace. What am I going to do when he keeps asking for Daddy?

Well, currently, my best bet is a web cam.. just that the 5 hour difference makes life insane...

Well, anyway, because of his tantrums, I told Daddy it is best we 'preframe' Ace and let him know that he is leaving...

So one night, while Daddy was bathing, I told Ace about this and this is how our conversation went...

Me: Ace ah, Daddy will be going overseas for two months leh. Daddy will take a plane.. woooo... and fly to another place but we will stay here and wait for him to come back.. ok?

Ace: Ok... (gently)

Me: But even if you do not see daddy, daddy still loves you very much.. ok?

Ace: Ok... (gently)

Me: But we can still see daddy through the computer and talk to Daddy through the computer during these two months. So you will still be able to talk to Daddy. Because Daddy will miss you so much, you can sing for him when we talk to him, ok?

Ace: Ok... (gently)

Me: And two months will fly past very fast and then Daddy will be home and you can play with Daddy and hug hug him again.. ok?

Ace: Ok... (gently)

Me: So mummy will be here with you and mummy will protect you while Daddy is away ok?

Ace: Ok... (gently)

Me: Ace will also love and protect mummy while daddy is away and we will wait for daddy to come home together.. ok?

Ace: Ok... (gently)

After that, he is no longer so grumpy.. but he still asks for his dad alot.. wonder if he will cry at the airport....

Previous Post: Toilet Trained Ace

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Toilet Trained Ace

Do you remember me telling you that I was trying to toilet Ace using his favourite bear.

Well, after a lot of repetition, it still seemed as if Ace did not understand the meaning of being toilet trained. So I kind of gave up already.

But I dunno what happened. Everything we taught him just suddenly fell into place one day.

So one day, while he was playing, he ran to me and said, "Mama.. sh sh...."

And so I brought the urinal over and let him pee. After he is done, he would clap and say "Clever boy!" to himself.

Nowadays, he doesnt need to wear diapers at home and would walk around in shorts. Whenever he needs to pee, he just comes and tell us that he needs to sh sh...

Only thing left to do is to train him to tell us when he wants to shit because since he has been toilet trained, he has the tendency to control his bowels so that he only shits when he is in his diapers ;)

Will keep you updated if there is any more progress ;)

Previous Post: Want To Be A Good Mother?

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Do you want to be a good mother?

The other day, while I was attending a psychological workshop, I told my teacher that I have this belief that I am a bad parent.

His answer to me was, "To become a good parent, you have to start by recognizing that you have good parents."

If you have any grieviance towards your parents, then you will never ever believe that you will become a good parent.

So he went on to ask me why I am a bad mother... and I told him I was a bad mother because I drank cold, soft drinks while I was pregnant and watched soap operas while I was pregnant even though I knew they were bad for the baby.

And then he asked me, "Who is leading who?" "Does your son like to watch TV now? Does he like to drink cold, soft drinks?"

Come to think if it, he does!

And so suddenly, I don't feel so bad after all.

How to be a good mother
But the root of it is this, to be a good mother, we have to start by recognizing that we have a great mother!

Our mothers are the greatest people on earth. No matter what they did to us, they fed us, carried us for 9 months of their lives. No matter what they did or said, it was just a story in your mind.

Sometimes we also fear our mothers. Mostly, when we fear our mothers, the fear is used to hide how much we are attacking this person.

When you are female especially, you tend to have guilt towards your mother as well for stealing away her husband.

Sometimes we blame our mothers for our broken dreams. Eg, they said something bad about us, they forced us to do something we did not like or want.. and as a result, we build up a huge judgement against her. But the dreams are just our ideas of how our lives should be. All dreams break at some point and we have to let go of them and move forward.

Most importantly, LOVE THEM!

Basically, all children just want to be loved. Doesnt matter how you educate them as long as you love them. There are many ways of doing it but all that doesn't matter. The most important thing is to love them alot.

A special tip would be to speak to your child as if they are your best friends.

"Get off the phone! Clean the room!" Is that what we say to a best friend? ;P

When we say such things to your children, we create the same problems that our parents had with us.

We treated our parents like god and felt that they are up there. That is why when we grow up, we want to throw them away and becomes gods ourselves.

There is a sufi book that says, "Parents are like bow and children are the arrows." Our children are here to go further than us and likewise, we are here to go further than our parents.

But what about negative influences from the in laws?
You mean the out laws? :P

They are just raised differently. You can say what you think but don't attack them.

And remember, it is ok to be naughty. Naughtiness is a leadership gift but you do not do it to put people down. You do it to have fun.

How do you know that a person is very very self concious. When they have an extremely bad sense of humour. People who are really naughty are usually rascals.

Previous Post: Chao Chao Chao

Monday, October 08, 2007

Chao Chao Chao

Ace is starting to have very strong mind of his own...

So sometimes, during meal times, he doesnt want us to feed him but wants to feed himself instead.

Just the other day, he didn't want Laoma to feed him and so he kept saying, "No... no.... no... dun want.." when laoma tried to feed him.

We thought he wanted to feed himself and gave him a bowl and spoon to feed himself... turned out that he wanted to play with his food.

He just kept shifting the food from one container to another and then he would stir his porridge and say, "chao chao chao..." as if he were cooking lor...

Sigh.. so that day, we took a record-breaking one hour to finish feeding him...

But anyway, the good news is that when he wants to feed himself.. he can feed himself so well now that it is not messy most of the time and his shirt is clean.. clever hor?:)

Previous Post: Where to go?

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Where To Go?

In future, if you are in city hall area with alot of spare time to spare with a toddler and you dun know what to do, let me share a place where you can entertain your child for FREE for at least 30 min ;)

We discovered this place by chance. As my office has shifted to Adelphi building, we started exploring this area alot more often. Sometimes when we have to bring Ace to office, Daddy will bring Ace around the area while I do my stuff.

And this magic place is the Mac Donalds inside Funan IT mall at level one ;) Hahaha....

The first good thing about this place is that food and drinks are available. The staff also seem to love children and would give them balloons so Ace loves this place. Everytime he comes here, he asks me, "Balloon?"

Secondly, there is this huge screen on the floor beside the restaurant for kids to play and there are many different games for them to play and the children will run around on the screen.. there are shooting games, racing cars, soccer games.. etc...

Daddy first discovered this place and he told me he just sat there for like 30 minutes and let Ace play on his own.

So the other day when I had 2 hours to spare with Ace and spending one hour playing hide and seek in Marks and Spencer and Robinsons at Raffles City, (He will walk into the shop and then go, "Wah!" at every beautiful dress he sees. After that, he will hide in the clothes rack and wait for me to find him) I decided that I would need something else to help me cos my feet are killing me.

So I bought him a snack and we ate and walked towards Funan IT mall.

Happiness! There were a few children already playing there and there is nothing Ace loves more than company!

So Ace was running around there for like a good 30 minutes and the children were really nice. Because he was younger, they kept giving in to him...

At the end of the 30 min, he was all drenched in sweat.

Yesterday even more tak gong... me had a meeting at mac donalds and from 5.30-7pm, Ace just played there non stop.. sometimes on his own, sometimes with other children. Broke the world record i think..

Usually, other than a barney VCD, nothing can fascinate him for so long that he never even call out for food even though he usually has his dinner at 5.30 and we did not feed him before the meeting ;)

Previous Post: Helpful Ace

Saturday, October 06, 2007

The importance of Love

Did you know that research shows that most children with traumatic childhood will die before age 30.

That is because we all want love and human contact.

Some other scientists also did research and found that if a baby is given food and water and absolutely no human contact, they will die.

The fact tat you are alive and reading here now is cos you are loved.

Please pass the love on and pay it forward!

Previous Post: Where to go?

Friday, October 05, 2007

Helpful Ace

Ace is very helpful... and quite a monkey too ;)

If we arrive at Yeye and Nainai's house too early, Yeye usually hasn't arrived back at home yet because he will go play badminton and then buy some supper and then come back home.

The other day, when he came back home, Ace was already at his place.

When Yeye sat down to take off his shoes and socks, Ace excitedly ran to him and asked to help.

Yeye took off his socks and smell the socks and told Ace, "Chou chou!" (Smelly) and Ace promptly took the socks and smelt them and laughed. "Chou chou!" he shouted happily ;)

Anyway, the helpful Ace helped Yeye to put the socks in the laundry basket after that.

Helpful Ace also helps with:
  • Throwing rubbish away
  • Carrying little paper bags when shopping
  • Singing songs for us when we need entertainment
  • Massaging us when we feel tired
  • Cleaning tables after meals
Not bad ah ;) Hmm.... this one makes me motivated to want to have more children.. haha ;)

Previous Post: Flower

Thursday, October 04, 2007


Ace is starting to get better and better in his motor skills... he would draw many circles and tell us who each circle is.

Usually, the circle that looks like Waigong looks like a char shao bao. The huge ba pao is usually Ace. For each circle he draw he will say, "net net, ah yee, waigong, papa..." etc...

So our family portrait ends up looking like some olympic logo.. hahaha...

Other than that, he will also draw a long oval and tell me it is a banana..

The other day, Richie Ah Ye hurt his leg and was hospitalized... and so when I visited him, I asked Ace to draw him some flowers... and here is what Ace did.. nice boh?

Not bad right.. two years old can draw bananas, flowers, fish.

On some rare occasion, he will even manage to scribble a plane like shape and tell me, "Airplane.. wooooooo......!" Haha

Previous Post: That's Right! Blame Your Parents

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

That's right, blame your parents!

That's right, go ahead and blame your parents for everything that you are not.

Blame them if you have an unhappy life.

Blame them if you have some undesirable traits.

Blame them if you have a unhappy relationship.

Blame them if your marriage fails.

That is a surefire way to turn yourself into an unhappy, lousy, guilty parent yourself when you have kids in future!

If you already are a parent, you will know that one always realizes what a hard time our parent have had when we become a parent ourselves. But yet, that does not stop us one bit from continuing to be judgemental towards our parents and blame them for everything that has gone wrong in our lives.

One of the most common things we do is to say that if our parents did not treat us in a certain way or do certain things, we would not have turned out in that particular way...

But then, the world is round. What goes around, comes around. What we are judgemental or complain about will eventually happen to us!

And the most interesting thing is that in actual fact, whatever we are complaining about our parents, we do so because we believe (deep within us) that we are doing the same thing to them! (Nevermind even if you do not realize or admit it.. hahaha...)

I recently attended a workshop which told us that everything we have in life is all about relationships, especially the relationships between us and our parents. And the relationship with our parents and the things they do really have life long impacts on us.

Some people were just so happy that they have found scapegoats to explain why they have screwed up lives. So they started telling the trainer- It's my parents' fault. If they did not xxx, I would not xxx.

But that is not what the trainer was actually saying.

"No one will cause your life to fall apart. You did...." he said.

While it is true that our parents have lasting impact on us. We have to be responsible for everything that happens in our life. If our marriage fell apart. It is us. If our job sucked. It is us. If we don't have happy BGR relationships, it is us. If we have nasty children.. sorry.. it is STILL us ;) hahaha...

That is really not something easy to stomach and for me, I took a long time to even understand and apply this in my life. Despite that though, it is really important.. because if we believe that someone else is responsible for what is happening in our life, it means that we are helpless and we become a victim. If we choose not to be responsible for everything that happens in our life, it means that we do not believe that we can change. This belief will make us powerless. Because it will mean that we cannot change all the things that are going on in our lives.. we become helpless.

In truth though, we are not helpless. No one is helpless... No one needs to be helpless because we all have a CHOICE.. a choice to choose to be happy and abundant. But to make this choice, we need to aknowledge that we created this problem and because we created it, we can CHOOSE to do otherwise! ;)

Our parents may have passed on certain patterns to us. No doubt these patterns will become our patterns and our children's patterns but we have a choice! We have a choice about whether we want to pass these on to our children!

When we were deciding to be born, we chose our parents and we already knew what we were getting into. This family, with this set of precious parents is the perfect place to learn all the lessons we need to learn. When we realize this, we will be filled with gratitude for them.

If we have any form of resentment, it means we have not learnt the lesson.

If we blame our parents for some things and have grieviances against them, in time to come, we will start to blame our bosses, our friends and also our other halves for the very same things.

If we have learnt the lesson, however, we will free ourselves and can help others who are trapped in the same trap.

Everyone can change. Everyone has a choice to move forward.

Mother Theresa once said, "I know that god will not give me what I cannot handle. But i just wish he didn't trust me so much..."

Ok, unless you have been to POV, I guess you are a little lost reading this.. muahaha...

Anyway, what I want to say is.. LOVE YOUR PARENTS and APPRECIATE THEM!

Previous Post: Mama, Wear Shoe!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Mama, Wear Shoe!

What is happening to this world... since when did children start to dictate what their parents do!? :)

Just the other day, I forgot to bring my keys out when we went out for dinner.. as a result, we spent a good half an hour at the playground with Ace while waiting for someone to reach home and open the door.

Daddy was in a relaxed mood and so he took off his slippers and sat at the playground. When Ace saw that, he took off his shoes as well and then he turned to me and said,"Mama, tuo xie..." (Mama, take off your shoes..)

When I ignored him, he came and personally took off my shoes for me. And then he pulled my hand and told me, "Mama, zou..." (Mama, walk) and asked me to walk towards the slide. When I did not move, he pulled me even harder and commanded me in his most commanding voice, "Mama! Zou!"

And then I asked him to pull Daddy instead and Daddy distracted him by playing the bang bang game with him. So he started making his hand into a V sign and pointing it at Daddy and said, "bang..."

And so Daddy pretended to 'die' and then after banging a few times, Ace told Daddy, "Daddy, die diao.." (Daddy, you have to fall) and then he insisted that Daddy had to fall all the way till his arms and legs and head all flat on the floor... only when Daddy was in the position he was satisfied, he told Daddy, "Daddy! Don't move!"

After having his fun, he came to me and told me, "Mama, chuan xie" (Mama, wear shoes)

So I complained to Daddy. "Wah lau, the main point of having children is so that I can command them instead of being commanded mah.. wat is this world coming to.... now children tell parents what to do... hai...."

And Daddy just gave me a laugh and said, "Doesn't this remind you of someone you know?"

Gosh.. and I suddenly realized that it reminded me of my mum.... always telling me what to do.... and then.. i realized, it reminded me of ME... no wonder Ace doesnt want to follow our instructions sometimes.. I think he got sick of always being told what to do and when to do it.

Sigh.. really have to learn to trust and respect Ace.

I mean, think of it this way... how many days in your life do you tell your child, "Stop it!" "Eat your food!" "Stop playing!" "Don't touch this!" "Wear your shoes!" "Go and bath now!"

Because of what Ace did.. it really help me realize that I was doing this alot more often to him as well ;) I shall try to be understanding instead....

Previous Post: Ace's First Trip Overseas