I don't know what overcame me the other day.
Recently, I have been feeling a need to spend time alone with Max. Just the two of us, enjoying each other's company. But somehow, these two weeks, Max keeps telling me he misses Ace and wants to bring Ace along for all the outings that we are going to.
But yet when he brings Ace along, I don't really see him spending alot of time with Ace and I just feel like I have to end up worrying and not enjoy as much as I wanted to because Ace is sometimes so active he will run away from the table when we have our meals. So I felt kind of annoyed.
The other day, my sense of judgement got better of me and my neediness overwhelmed me and I just told Max not to bring Ace out the next time we go out because I wanted time with him... and while I was saying that, Ace was just sitting on my lap.
The moment i said it though, I regretted it. Ace did not say much or do much. He just had a blank expression on his face and so I thought it was ok.
But turned out that he was really quite upset by it as well.
Cos Ace said he wanted to eat bread. So we went to buy 2 pancakes and we told him that we would share the pancakes among us.
When he reached home, we told him that he needed to take off his shoes and wash his hands first before he could eat them and then he threw a huge tantrum.
First time ever, he was pushing things around, kicking the door and crying out just because he wanted to eat the pancakes immediately. He suddenly did not understand the meaning of the word, "later" even though most of the time if we told him "Please do this first.." he will smile and say, "Later then we play ok?"
Daddy got furious when he saw Ace behaving this way and shouted loudly at him.
And then Ace cried and cried so loudly when he washed his hands. Afterward, we gave him the pancake, he was still crying because he refused to share the pancake with us!
Why would someone who has had dinner twice want to eat one whole pancake ALL BY HIMSELF? That really beats me...
I was really upset that he became so selfish and refused to share.
I told him that I was really disappointed that he behaved this way because I always thought he was a very kind person who loved to share with other people.
And then I went into my room to pout cos I was really upset. I don't even understand why i was so upset just because my son din want to share a pancake with me. Hahaha..
I think he knew I was upset... so he came into the room and sat down beside me. He just sat there and kept quiet.
And suddenly, I had an inspiration... so I asked him to come close to me.. and he wriggled into my arms.
"I am sorry Ace, I was mean not to want to share Daddy with you. No wonder you did not want to share your pancake with me. Please no that no matter what, I love you very much. I am very sorry, will you forgive me?"
He hugged me very tight and told me, "I love you too!"
And then ran out of the room. I followed him out of the room and suddenly, he became the nice, sweet, kind Ace that he has always been.
Afterward, I realized why I was so upset as well.... I thought that if my son did not want to share a pancake with me, he did not love me! Hahaha.... So I went to hug Ace and told him what I discovered... he laughed and hugged me and told me, "I love you.." and then he kissed me... and I am a happy woman again :)
Anyway, I resolve to be a more mature parent. I think in parenting, there are always times where our children will go "I hate you mum.." but if we get emotional about it... we wouldn't be able to help our children. So I resolve to be a more mature parent so that I can help and love Ace more :)
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