Don’t Be Stingy!

Recently, I have been in charge of giving talks on how to make friends and also the art of “Tee- UP” (Tee Up means saying good things about someone such that other people are impressed with him and are willing to listen to him).

Both topics bring me to this very important point: PRAISE. And more importantly, praising other people.

Do you like it when people say good things about you? I do. I had a fren, Gwen, who always tells me that I am very clever and that I am very good. Little wonder that I like to be with her right?

So you like being praised by other people despite the fact that you will blush and flush whenever people praised you. But how often have you praised other people??

We, as Asians, tend to feel shy about praising other people. Sometimes it is a case of 爱你在心口难开 (love you I the heard but it is tough to say it out). I mean, have you ever told your father or mother, “YOU ARE THE BEST FATHER/MOTHER IN THE WORLD?” Hiaks, I have.. at least in writing ;)

Sometimes, it is the old Asian ego at fault. I mean.. most people feel that if we talk good about other people, it means that we are bad in comparison.

But have you ever thought of it this way? If your friends around you are all wonderful people, they are upright, friendly, positive, clever.. etc.. what will take make you? Someone similar right? If your friends around you are all skunks, thiefs and robbers, gangsters.. how would other people see you? Probably they will see you as in the same league as these ‘friends’.

So.. I guess most Asians are STINGY with praise. But praise is such a good way of making someone’s day! It is easy, and it is free!

The other day, I was talking to Melvin about another wedding that I have attended. Despite it being fun, I told him that his wedding was still the best tat I ever attended cos it make me feel like holding another wedding with Max. He told me it made his day… hiaks…

Even Ace reacts very positively to praise. As you know, Ace is in the midst of learning how to crawl. Pushing himself up is very hard work for his tiny arms. After a while, he gets tired.

The other day, he flipped himself over and as he was about to cry (because it was hard work and he was tired I think..), I praised him, “Wah! What a clever baby! That’s great Ace! You are so clever. Wah.. you are so strong ah! Wah.. you are such a clever baby!”

Immediately, he pushed his chest forward, pushed his head up high and SMILED!

And then I told him that he looked so good I have to take a picture.

By the time I found the camera and went back into the room, he was already tired again and resting.

“Hey, clever boy, come, pose for a photo!” Praise has but immense power okay! He went back into position, smiled and posed for a nice photo. See, you can even see traces of his tears in the pic!

And did I forget to mention that Ace always smiles whenever people tell him that he is:
- the best
- the greatest
- the cutest
- the healthiest
- the most handsome
- the most intelligent

ALWAYS okie!

So people, please dun be stingy with your praise lah.

Just the other day, I was talking to Jez Mama on the phone. She was sending Tashi, her daughter, to school. When Tashi alighted from the car, I heard her in the background saying, “Mummy, bye bye…”So Jez Mama said, “Bye bye, 加油orh!”And Tashi replied, “Bye Bye, Mummy, 你也要加油orh!”

Wah.. if I am Jez Mama.. I think that day no matter how tired or no matter wat challenges I have, all not important.. am sure I will overcome them all! Any sane, normal person will feel the same way, wouldn’t you?

And that brings me to another point. Don’t be stingy with encouragement lah. People always think of encouraging our peers and below. Eh, your parents, your bosses, your mentors.. all need your encouragement also leh.

So dun be stingy lah!

If you received this via email, pass the love on… hiaks!