That's right, blame your parents!

That's right, go ahead and blame your parents for everything that you are not.

Blame them if you have an unhappy life.

Blame them if you have some undesirable traits.

Blame them if you have a unhappy relationship.

Blame them if your marriage fails.

That is a surefire way to turn yourself into an unhappy, lousy, guilty parent yourself when you have kids in future!

If you already are a parent, you will know that one always realizes what a hard time our parent have had when we become a parent ourselves. But yet, that does not stop us one bit from continuing to be judgemental towards our parents and blame them for everything that has gone wrong in our lives.

One of the most common things we do is to say that if our parents did not treat us in a certain way or do certain things, we would not have turned out in that particular way...

But then, the world is round. What goes around, comes around. What we are judgemental or complain about will eventually happen to us!

And the most interesting thing is that in actual fact, whatever we are complaining about our parents, we do so because we believe (deep within us) that we are doing the same thing to them! (Nevermind even if you do not realize or admit it.. hahaha...)

I recently attended a workshop which told us that everything we have in life is all about relationships, especially the relationships between us and our parents. And the relationship with our parents and the things they do really have life long impacts on us.

Some people were just so happy that they have found scapegoats to explain why they have screwed up lives. So they started telling the trainer- It's my parents' fault. If they did not xxx, I would not xxx.

But that is not what the trainer was actually saying.

"No one will cause your life to fall apart. You did...." he said.

While it is true that our parents have lasting impact on us. We have to be responsible for everything that happens in our life. If our marriage fell apart. It is us. If our job sucked. It is us. If we don't have happy BGR relationships, it is us. If we have nasty children.. sorry.. it is STILL us ;) hahaha...

That is really not something easy to stomach and for me, I took a long time to even understand and apply this in my life. Despite that though, it is really important.. because if we believe that someone else is responsible for what is happening in our life, it means that we are helpless and we become a victim. If we choose not to be responsible for everything that happens in our life, it means that we do not believe that we can change. This belief will make us powerless. Because it will mean that we cannot change all the things that are going on in our lives.. we become helpless.

In truth though, we are not helpless. No one is helpless... No one needs to be helpless because we all have a CHOICE.. a choice to choose to be happy and abundant. But to make this choice, we need to aknowledge that we created this problem and because we created it, we can CHOOSE to do otherwise! ;)

Our parents may have passed on certain patterns to us. No doubt these patterns will become our patterns and our children's patterns but we have a choice! We have a choice about whether we want to pass these on to our children!

When we were deciding to be born, we chose our parents and we already knew what we were getting into. This family, with this set of precious parents is the perfect place to learn all the lessons we need to learn. When we realize this, we will be filled with gratitude for them.

If we have any form of resentment, it means we have not learnt the lesson.

If we blame our parents for some things and have grieviances against them, in time to come, we will start to blame our bosses, our friends and also our other halves for the very same things.

If we have learnt the lesson, however, we will free ourselves and can help others who are trapped in the same trap.

Everyone can change. Everyone has a choice to move forward.

Mother Theresa once said, "I know that god will not give me what I cannot handle. But i just wish he didn't trust me so much..."

Ok, unless you have been to POV, I guess you are a little lost reading this.. muahaha...

Anyway, what I want to say is.. LOVE YOUR PARENTS and APPRECIATE THEM!

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