You are not suppose to swear in front of your kids... Still, they pick up all sorts of rubbish in school...
For Ace, he has already picked up the word F-UCK. That is because all the songs these days have "f-ing xxx" or "f-ing" that. He understands that it is a swear word and that it is used to describe VERY when a person is excited or upset.
But he is not allowed to use the word. I told him it is a rude word you shouldn't use especially when you are a kid. His teacher say they cannot use the word... but sometimes when he is upset, he will say to me.. "Mummy, may I please have permission to say the F word? I am so f-ing upset..." (yes, he said F ing.. as in letter F add ING cos he cannot say FUCKING.. hahaha) At all times, the answer to that is no...
"But I need to express myself.." he said. And I remember reading that children should be allowed to use some naughty words... so I told him he can use a replacement.. like TEH TEH.. or 鸡蛋炒鸭蛋 (from that mediacorp show we watched)...
But at least this swear word is quite a straightforward vulgarity.
Then there are the not so straightforward ones... words like HELL, HECK, SHIT... according to Ace, all these are bad words as well. In my mind, bad words are vulgarities, so these words are not really bad words. I thought about it and the best way I could explain to Ace is this... that these words are not BAD words like the F word.. BUT sometimes, they can be rude when you use it in your conversation. As he does not yet understand when it will sound rude and when it will not, it is best that he doesnt use these words in his conversation.
For example, today he came and complain that his friend used the word HECK.. as in "what the heck" and complained why the teacher never scold the friend for using a bad word. I told him HECK is not a bad wat.. it is like our Singlish "wahlau eh" only... "Oh, so it is just an expression!" (Wah, sibeh impressive.. he knows how to use the word 'expression')
Then there are the "DUH" sort of bad words that Ace says his friends declare are bad like GAY or SEXY. When I first heard Ace say GAY is a bad word.. I was like.. HUH??!!! And had to give him a long explanation about the word.....
And then there is the word SEXY... now why the hell is that considered a bad word.. I never know. I don't want Ace to get the wrong idea.. and again, I had to explain to him that the word sexy means very attractive.
Then there is also the not so easy to explain words like "SEXUAL INTERCOURSE." Some weeks ago, Ace came home and told me that his friend in school discovered the word "SEXUAL INTERCOURSE" in the dictionary "And he thinks it is very funny.. he kept saying it and laughing about it... And XX says it is a bad word." Ace told me.
I am always careful when the word SEX comes into play. I never want Ace to think SEX is dirty or bad. Neither do I want him to think it is something you take lightly.
First, I asked Ace if he knew what the words mean. As a rule, I explained, if you do not know what the word means, don't use it! And then I asked Ace if he remembered that I told him that when a man and woman get married, they will do something called "Making Love" and make a baby? That act of making a baby where the man puts his penis into a woman's vagina is called sexual intercourse.
So since that is how he and all his friends are made, how can that be a bad word?? ;) Ace agreed... and says.. "But YY thinks it is funny.."
"Well, it is a very important part of a loving relationship between a husband and a wife... there is nothing funny about it at all leh. I don't think as children, you should go around school and shout "SEXUAL INTERCOURSE... " and laugh about it. It is a very private thing and there is nothing funny about it at all leh..." I explained to him..
And then I wondered if I should drop a note in the SOS book. I asked Ace if I should drop a note in the SOS book to his teacher so she knows to explain this phrase to all his friends so that they do not misunderstand that this is a funny word or that it is a bad word.
"It's ok, leave it to me. I will talk to him. " Wah sey.. ai zai!:)
PS: Few days later, Ace came to me with another difficult to explain phrase. He said his classmate said "I will suck your balls!" to him. I told him that is not appropriate expression for children to use and asked him if he knows what that means. He says he knows what suck means... and he knows in this case, the balls is referring to the male private parts.. I told him that saying that to other people is not appropriate or acceptable because it literally means something like "I eat your penis". That's plain rude and it also has a sexual connotation to it.
"But it is not sex mah..." Ace said. And then I explained to him that for some people, part of their sexual intercourse experience involves that. This type of sex is called Oral Sex.. so it can be considered part of sex. So as we have discussed before, this is something private... so it is not something we go around saying to everybody....
Phew.. I wonder if I gave too much information.. But well, already say liao.. he seems to accept it and happily went on to talk about other topics:)
PS: I think he is starting to have a sense of what sexual intercourse is. The other day, we were watching tv and then the couple in the show were shown.. in bed... wearing very little clothes and then door was closed... and cut to next scene.. Ace asked me why they were sleeping together... and asked me if they were having sexual intercourse.. Sigh.. why always is me doing the explanation??? Next time I should ask him to go and ask his Daddy about it! Wahahahahahaha!
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