Dreams

Remember how Ace's teacher called me because he did not let me sign his compo file? He finally sorted it out BUT he did not get all his corrections done and so I asked him to do little by little because he accumulated too many to do all one shot.

And so... when I went to school to talk to his teacher about the bullying incident, I met his Chinese teacher...

She came up to me and asked if I am Ace's mother. Then she told me that Ace is doing fine in school but asked me if Ace had any problem with homework. Turns out that Ace did not do his CHINESE HOMEWORK TOO!

HE kept saying he will do and that he will let me sign and in his teacher's own words, "He kept looking so sorry and so sincere, I gave him chance after chance but it was just not done.."

So when we reached home.. he kenna a big time scolding for me lor. Already gave him a prep talk about being responsible and he still  do this... And when I went through his work in an attempt to sign it, I realized that he has not done ANY of the corrections and did not do any of the last few unit's homework...

I was really upset with him. I told him that just saying that he will change and never taking action to change is not good enough!

But after I scolded him, I was also aware that something is not quite right with Ace and it was not something a scolding or two can fix. I remembered how he responded much better to coaching than scolding and so I soften my approach.... sat beside him, put my arms around his shoulders and told him that if something is bothering him, he has to tell me so I can help him. He does not need to do all these to get help...

I asked him if he did not let me sign because he knew I would ask him about all the parts that he did not complete and he nodded his head silently. This meant that he probably knows that not completing all these work is wrong.. but why is he still doing this? Sigh...

And we started talking deeper and so instead of telling him what to do, I decided that I should ask him questions.

So I started where I was most familiar with:) DREAMS:)

I asked him what was his dream when he grew up.. I told him that regardless of what his dream is, it will have to start from him giving his all now to his learning and education so that he has a good foundation to take steps towards his dream.

And when I asked him that, Ace started sobbing...  So I repeated... "What is your dream Ace?" And he sobbed even more loudly.... and even more sadly...

I asked him what those tears were about and he cried very sadly and said, "I don't have a dream anymore, I lost my dream.... I don't know where I want to be or where I want to go..."

I was a little taken aback when that happened...  I know how heart-wrenching it can be to lose your dream cos I have been through it before. But I never thought a 11 year old little boy would feel this way.

So I reminded him gently that he hasnt "lost" his dream... he is perhaps still exploring and has merely forgotten his dream. I took out his vision board made for this year and told him, "This is your dream... remember?"

And he cried and cried...

I reminded him even of his subconscious vision board and that it was all about gaining more knowledge and having fun with the family... and I reminded him that his gift for this year is the gift of a MIRACLE. If he were to put in effort and give his all to everything that he did, he will be able to develop this gift furthur and create big miracle. Given a chance, will he prefer to create big miracle or a small miracle?

And so he said he wanted to create big miracles and started to calm down a little... And I hugged him and told him I will help him remember his dream by sending his dream board photo for him to set as his wallpaper...

I told him that he is on a wrong path and if he continues on this path, he will not go to where he wants to be. But it is not too late to turn around to go back on the right path and he can do so if at every point where he can choose to make a different choice to do the right thing everything he has to make a choice. And he has to choose to complete his work, complete his corrections and have good attitude if he wants to learn. Corrections tell us where we go wrong and help us learn how to do it better. If we ignore that, we will continue to be wrong..

And he said he will change and promised that he will choose a different path.

BUT.... two days later, I get another message from his english teacher that he did not complete his english composition.. that was despite me asking him constantly if he has completed his homework.

I almost went CRAZY!

I told Ace I already don't know what to do with him... I scolded him, I encouraged him, I tried to talk nicely to him... BUT seems like nothing is working... then maybe he can do whatever he likes and fail if he wants to lah....

And then I suddenly decided to share with hi what I had observed. I told him that it seems to me that he has suddenly give up on himself like that. I dunno why he is like that. He was not like that in the past and he would always try and try again.. but this time round, though he said he will try his best, he seems like he has totally given up like that.. and he started crying again. I asked him why is he crying.. especially when I said he has given up.. he said it is because it is true.

So I told him that since he is the one who has chosen to give up.. he is also the want who can choose to commit again to being a good student...

And I asked him why he chose to give up...

"I wanted your attention.." he said.. after pausing to think for a long long time.

"But I always give you attention what... every night I ask you if you want me to read with you but you choose to use your phone.." I replied.

"But I also want Daddy's attention wat..."

And so I asked his dad to talk to him that night..

His dad had a 5 min chat with him.. asked him what is his ambition... he told his dad his ambition is to become a scientist and his dad encouraged him a little and the next day...

Someone comes up to me and lets me sign this and that on his own... does all his work on time... and reminds me that he is a changed little boy and no longer the same Ace I knew!

wah! His dad talk 5 min better than I talk 50 min lor! So I told Max next time he shall be tasked to do the prep talks since it is more efficient and effective for him to do tat:) hahahaha...

Actually I knew that his dad's words will be more powerful.. Ace is quite sensitive to whether we really bond with him and these two weeks, his dad has been bz and also coming home very late and he hasnt had much chance to chat with him... therefore, what he says is 1000 x more powerful and impactful than what I say:) hahahaha...

PS: He sort of put in some effort for his mid years... hoping that he will

Previous Post: Amazing Nature At Our Little Place

Amazing Nature At Our Little Place

It is just sooooooooooooooooo amazing to live here in this estate we are living now.

I have never lived so close to nature before. Here where right in front of us is  huge park that has since been invaded by MRT construction, I have mentioned that I find it amazing to see nature trying to get closer to us all the time... In fact, my house is like a freaking insect cemetry with insects trying their best to come in and DIE..

The other day, we noticed that there were alot of those light moths flying around and as they were rather irritating and I did not have pails of water for them to fly to die inside, I switched off all the lights and turned on the light in the balcony so they will all be attracted to the balcony light.. and after a while I could close the balcony door and keep them OUTSIDE :)

And then our resident lizard who happened to be returning home was just about to come visit when he noticed the buffet party and he promptly went and ate all those silly moths flying about outside... It is always fascinating to me why something that cannot fly can eat up something that flies... I noticed many times the stupid insect will look like it is literally flying right into the mouth of the lizard!

I still havent figured out why:) hahha..

But the lizard dun always have it good either..

The other day, I noticed Mr Lizard wanting to come visit.. but as the construction outside was really very noisy and dusty, the balcony door was closed.. so he was walking around.. and as he walked behind a ball we left in the balcony, a big black crow came.. the crow must have seen the lizard from far cos by the time he flew into my balcony, the lizard was hiding behind the ball near the base... very good hiding place.. or so I thought... till the crow flew in to right where the lizard was and picked it up...

Bye bye lizard... till we meet again!

I think it is BEE season or something.. every week or so, there will be one bee flying into our house during the night. I will ignore him and next morning he will be lying dead somewhere either in the balcony area or living room area...

Not to mention the various species of spiders that love to make webs in my house! There are the flat ones, the round ones.. the long legged ones, and the short legged ones... They have now become a serious problem because I have to vacuum my entire ceiling on a weekly basis because if not they will build webs all over the place and strangely, more webs means more insects... so strange. i tot if you are an insect and you see a web, first thing you do is run away right.. no.. they see a web, they get excited and go right into the web so they can be stuck there and eaten! Oh my poor neck and back whenever I have to do that!

Though I am thankful I get to observe nature at such a CLOSE vantage view ..... I am very sure I will not miss all these little critters when I move into my new house when my BTO is ready! Hahaha!

Previous Post: Sauce!

Sauce!

 And so, Ace's current food obsession is with Thai food... specifically GREEN CURRY and Kangkong fried with bean paste and chilli...

And that, is his default spicy fighter drink:)

I know Ace really enjoys the fried kangkong lah.. cos after I bough a bean paste he has been asking every other day if I will be cooking the fried kangkong!:)

But I never knew he actually enjoyed it so much till he cannot bear to waste ANY BIT of the sauce.. either from the kangkong.. or the green curry...

 That is him when we went to eat Thai food the other day... trying to scrap off and pick up every last bit of sauce because as he declares, "This is so delicious!" I think Thai Express should hire him to make an ad or something and give him free flow lifetime kangkong supply or wat:) hahaha

 He poured the sauce into his plate and tried to slowly slurp it up.. I asked him if he wanted to lick the plate clean and he actually seriously gave thought to doing that!:)

 Green curry also cannot waste... every drop counts!!!

 And it is not limited to THAI EXPRESS thai food... this is him at another restaurant called THAI TABLE the other day..

Luckily he did not start licking the plates or I would feel so embarrassed! Hahahhaha..

Previous Post: Guitar Promotion?

Guitar Promotion?

Have been waiting for Ace to be promoted to the next level for guitar...

THe last time, his teacher gave him a test and then gave me a slip of paper that told us he has passed the test and been promoted. It took him a full year to be promoted.

This time round though, I was hoping he can be promoted to the next level after half a year....

But leh, I waited and waited.. no paper from the teacher...

Partially, i think this is a result someone being lazy. One time I went to fetch him and his teacher saw me, he told me that Ace made very fundamental mistakes and looked like he did not practice... "It will be much easier for me and for him if he did!" And the staff at the music school told me Mr P is quite strict.. So I made it a point to nag at Ace to remember to practice his guitar... because in my experience of learning to play instruments.. even a 5 min practice a day makes a whole lot of difference!

After two weeks of consistent practice and no scolding, I asked his guitar teacher Mr P, if there is some test Ace can take. Mr P says that there is a ABRSM test but he has to be recommended by this teacher to take the exam in order to do so. But he left it at that...

Because Mr P had a black face and also because he had another class, I decided I will check with the staff in the music school and the staff told me that there are two types of test available. One type is by the school... the other type is by the ABRSM... and the school one is cheaper but you can only go on to take the higher grades and be a guitar teacher or performer if you do the ABRSM tests...

 Picture I took while sitting outside and waiting for him to finish class...

The following week, I decided to talk to Mr P again. I told him that I did not really need Ace to like pass professional exams and become a professional in guitar... I just wanted him to have something to work towards and have some sort of measurable improvement that might motivate him... And also of course to give him a chance to work his left and right brains and coordination... and perhaps give him an edge when he wants to chase girls... hahahaaha...

Mr P told me that he wanted to tell me to get a new book for Ace. It is a new guitar book with songs for Grade 3-5. He says that he will recommend that I not send Ace for exam cos then it will mean Ace has to go back to the basics and do all the things he already knows.. which is boring for Ace... cos they will need to practice those few things again..

Mr P says he has been meaning to promote Ace for a while.. however, everytime he thinks Ace is ready to be promoted, Ace will make some really fundamental mistake tat will immediately change his mind on the spot.. so Ace is very unstable in his progress...

But since he has asked Ace to buy a new book.. that means Ace is finally promoted to a new level I guess:)

So we will save money and dun do the exams:) hahahaha...

Here is a video of Ace doing the first song he learnt from this book... Daddy says he needs PROOF to show Ace's guitar lessons are money well spent:) We shall record a video to mark his improvement after his school exams:)

Anyway, I am a little surprised... cos when I asked Ace if he would like to change to learn electric guitar from this point (this was the reason why he started learning guitar cos he wanted to learn electric guitar) onwards because that is another option we could take and he says he prefers to totally master classical guitar:) haha...

We also promised Ace that if he got promoted, we will buy him a new guitar cos his old one is cheap guitar actually. However, looking at the way he takes care of his guitar.. I might want to hold off this plan for a while cos his guitar will always knock into different places... If a guitar had skin and blood vessels, it is very likely the guitar will be blue black all over by now:) hahahaa...

On a side note not really related to Ace's guitar class... I saw this ad in a magazine from the CDC in the area I am living in...

What sort of ad do you think this looks like at first glance?

I paused in shock cos at first glance, because to me, it looked like those sleazy ads advertising for social escorts... partially because they used the orange base ad CHEAPO looking font.... and partially because these photos are not professional and look more like makeover photos more suited for match making...

I posted on FB and asked what people thought these ad is for.. Only peopel who noticed the musical instruments mentioned music teachers. MOst people said it looked like escort ads, maid agency, foreign brides.. ahahahaahaha... so leh, I very buah tahan and went to FB to write in to this music school to tell them their ad FAIL BIG TIME.. but they no reply. Hahahahaha...

Previous Post: Exchange Program

Exchange Program

Ace came home one day and declared that there will be an exchange program and that he will  need to make a card for the student he will be buddying with. I asked him where the student is from and Ace said from HK.

So despite having a full day of supplementary lessons and tuition and homework, Ace insisted on perfecting the design of his card so that he could give it to the buddy the next day..

He says that dragon is from the movie How To Tame Your Dragon...

The next day, he comes home with some toys and I asked him why he has toys with him.. He said they are presents from his buddy and the presents only given to buddies. I asked whether he gave his buddy presents and he said they used class fund to buy some stationary for the few students attached to their class. Hahaha.. I told Ace he very wu hua hor.... buy present use class fund.. take present, he ownself keep...

I asked him why only some of the people had buddies and Ace said that is because you had to volunteer yourself to be a buddy and Mr KPO who likes to volunteer for things of cos volunteered to do this lor.. despite not being able to speak good mandarin:) haahhaa...

Turns out that the buddy is not from HK... he is from Shanghai!

But leh, he is cannot speak very fluent english and Ace cannot speak very fluent Chinese... so leh, is chicken and duck talk. Ace tried to show me how his buddy speaks english and I cannot help but burst out laughing cos he sounds like those comedic stereotypes of how people from China in the olden days speak english (Many PRC chinese speak excellent english now, mind you..)

I think he must be wondering why this yellow skinned boy speak such broken chinese too!:) hahaha

Despite this though, Ace says they did chat and he found out that his buddy's school had a basketball court and a field donated by Liao Ning.. the famous basketball player... and he also found out that his buddy will be going back to his hometown and leaving Shanghai next year.

If you noticed I kept using the phrase "his buddy", it is because Ace does not remember his buddy's Chinese name..("It's too difficult!"  he exclaimed..) Kauz...

Anyway, I asked Ace what did he share with his buddy about himself and he said he shared that he has ever visited shanghai before a few years back but he was unable to articulate exactly what places he has visited while in Shanghai... hahaha ;)

Anyway, his buddy gave him two presents.. one is this fish thingy... but minus the candy. INside instead are little notes.. when we opened up to read.. they say things like, "I am looking forward to visit Singapore.." "Is it very warm in Singapore!"

So cute right?:P

And he also gave Ace a book..

It is some sort of novel.. I think it looks very interesting and it is my goal to read this together with Ace during the school holidays.. Hopefully, it might get him started on getting interested to read chinese books!;)

Previous Post: 世上只有干妈好

世上只有干妈好

世上只有干妈好 lor...

Godma came visiting... brought lots of GIFTS for her godson...

And on top of that, before she went home, she gave her godson an ang pao... AGAIN!

I told her he did not do much to warrant receiving an ang pow lor... He scored 10.5 for this math test to which the godma who is DETERMINED to give the ang pow replied..

"OH.. very good.. indeed my godson.. poor in math like me!"

Faintz...

Hahahahaha..

I hope Ace remembers this.. and remember to give godma lots of ang pows when he is working! Very shiok to be pampered now but dun forget to pamper godma back when you are older, Ace!

Previous Post: Bullies

Bullies

I always thought of Ace as someone who knows how to take care of himself. Because he is much taller than most kids his age, people think twice before they bully him. If there are mean people in school, usually it is just words and he doesnt really let those get to him too much. Outside, we have only met one bully in a Mac Donald playground in Singapore and a mean boy in Dubai at the toy store...

The other day though, when he came home, I thought I will just tease him a little. He reached home, I unlocked the door and told him, "There is no one home, there is no one home.." in a robotic voice.

I thought he will laugh..

Instead, he burst out crying very sadly.. his eyes all red...

I was a little taken aback and asked why he was crying and in between sobbing, he told me, "Someone bullied me..."

So I did the next best thing I knew that could help this huggy kissy monster... I hugged him and hoped that he can calm down and tell me more...

After he calmed down a little,  in between sobs he told me what happened....As his eyes were totally red, his hair was in a mess and his shirt was totally black on the back (he had fallen backwards) and his sleeves were all black with dirt... and he kept sobbing and rubbing his eyes... so I cut short his story and asked him to bath first before continuing because if not his eyes will only get worse if he used his dirty hands to rub them.

After he bathed, he sat down and continued his story. I was relieved to find that his eyes seemed alot better and this is how is story was like...

Ace's sad face and red eyes on the day the incident happened...

--------------------

Apparently, Ace and his classmates have been going to the playground after school. Since he always only played for 5-10 minutes there each time, I said nothing when he explained that he was at the playground when I asked him why he was home so late or why he was so sweaty.

That day, after his CCA, Ace walked past the playground and saw his friend, D, there at the playground with some other classmates and he went over to join them and play with them.

When he went over, D was with a few other kids who seemed to be secondary school kids but Ace was unable to tell what school it is from.

According to Ace, he was playing with a few classmates and when Ace was on the swing and D whispered to the secondary school boy and passed a long fern to the boy. The boys started to use the fern and wave it in front of his face and he backed off to avoid them and they said, "Why, you scared ah..." And slapped the fern on his face and it hit his eye.

Ace cried because it hurt and he lost balance and fell backwards onto the floor. And then they started laughing. They stood above him in a menacing manner and laughed..

At this point, one of his classmates came over and they told her, "Look, Ace is crying!"

And they all continued to laugh at Ace. Then someone said, "Quick, take photo and post on stomp.." and someone whipped out the camera to take photos.

And then as they were laughing, they continued on and they said he is so EMO.... and D said, "He is class monitor lor..!"

And the boys said he must be a girl.. cry so much.. and someone said, "Quick, check his pants and see if he has a penis.."

Throughout, there were adults at the playground but they were watching on.  THe other classmates were there but they also merely watched on.. perhaps they were afraid to stand up for their friend.

So Ace cried and went to the bus stop and took a bus home and he came home crying badly and his eyes were very red.

---------------------------

So when I heard this, I was like a sea of calm. I wrote what he told me down and sent to the teacher to inform him to pls talk to D and find out what happened. 

And of course, I had to remind Ace that when you see bullies, you WALK AWAY. They wouldnt have been able to say or do anything more if you walked away. CRYING... it seems, at this point, may not be the best strategy to ask for help even though it always worked previously. 

As Ace has often used crying as his main strategy to ask for help, I told him that I hope he realizes that this strategy does not always work. Though there were adults there and other classmates there, no one came forward to help when he was crying and so crying may not be the best solution. He is likely better off relying on himself to walk away or ask god for help.

And I am also slightly outraged that the boys laughed at Ace because he cried. I am of the view that it is ok for any person to express that they are being hurt by crying whether they are male or female. Crying is NOT a sign of weakness and not solely a female attribute. Real men cry!:) And that is what I told Ace. But at that point, it was perhaps not the BEST thing to do... I told him maybe it might be better if he had closed his eyes and chanted for wisdom and help from the Gohonzon:)

I noted that he cried the saddest when he told me that they are going to stomp him.. this boy very ai mian zi lah... so I told him that if what we are doing is right, there is no need to fear if people stomp you or what. If they really do post these photos.. people are not stupid also.. they will also ask.. why these photos will taken and come to conclusion that these boys were there at a bully incident and did nothing except take photos! So who looks bad here?

And I added that  though I fully support his decision to unfriend D because I see how he was hurt but I hope he forgives D for this... to which he replied, "I will never forgive him!"

I also told Ace I have noticed a lot of older kids loitering around that playground and they often seem to be up to no good. So it is not a good idea for him to loiter around and that he should always go home straight instead of loitering around somewhere with his friends after school. If he had gone home straight, he would not have met these bullies...

His dad came home and  we told his dad and I could see Max burning with anger... and his dad told him... there are only two ways to counter this... either fight or flight... so he can either get up and walk away from them and not let them continue to bully him.. or you can "give it to him good".. but if you choose this way, you make sure you pick the biggest, toughest boy and hit him jia lat jia lat (hard).. then no one will dare to bully you again! Just dun injure them permanently... " Max calls this Daddy's way of solving the problem.. which he says is usually different from mummy's way...

I thought I was quite ok but finally when Ace went to bed and I sat down and thought about it, I was really angry... I can still feel a fire burning within me... like how dare these people belittle and laugh at and bully what is precious to me!? I know they are kids but I guess it reminded me of a time where I was slapped by a bully when I was in school ... I tried but haven't fully forgiven him after all these years I guess...

The irony？ By the time I was seething with anger, my son was his usual chirpy, happy self already ;) hahaha...

When I think back, I realized the kids themselves must have been bullied at some point and told they were sissies for crying too... and I thought thank goodness it happened to Ace cos he has this safe environment filled  with love where he can come to his dad and mum and we can heal anything together and that it did not happen to another kid who may have been less secured and may be deeply scarred by this...

I suspect part of him enjoyed playing victim and getting more attention from us.. haha :)

But seriously, by dinner time, he was back to his usual chirpy self.. which told me he was not hurt too badly in this incident lah. Phew... his tears come fast and he forget fast.

The Day After...
But I cannot forget wor!:) Next morning, he was his usual self and still eager to go to school. I predicted though that he will be friends again with D by the end of the day but I tested him on our way to school.. I asked him if he will forgive D and he said he will never forgive him. "What if he looks very sorry?" And Ace insisted that he will NOT forgive D....

Truth is, he came home and said they are friends again. When I asked him how they became friends again, he said by the end of the day, D came to him and said, "Bro, sorry lah... wanna go mamashop? " And Ace naturally said YES:) So I commented..."But I tot you say you will NEVER forgive? HOw come you changed your mind?" "Because he looked really really sorry.." Ace said.

Hahahaha.. so much so for I will never forgive him. But I was the unforgiving one who said he is free to choose his friends but he has to know this friend may not be reliable in times of need... hahahahaa.... Yes, I know I am xiao ren...

I was also curious about how the teacher settled it and he said the teacher told the class he watched the CCTV and saw a playground and asked who was playing at the playground at a particular time and so all the people who were there stood up and everyone took turns to tell their side of the story and what they saw. Ace said he could not hear much of other people's story but at this point.. he provided NEW INFO about his story!

Apparently, the bullying started cos someone go and siong other people... When Ace was recounting what he told his teacher about what happened, I found out that it actually started because when Ace was at the swing, some boy came and kept pushing him.. so his pants (which was rubber at the waist) dropped down till they can see his underwear.. so he was angry and he asked the boy to stop. When they boy did not stop, he he gave an angry look to the boy....

At this point, another boy (the main bully) came and said, "Why why.. you not happy ah?" And then Ace said, "Yes, I am not happy because he keeps pushing me even though I asked him to stop..."

And so the boy said, "Not happy go and learn how to be happy lah... " And so Ace rolled his eyes and gave the "Wah lau, lame joke" kind of look.

And that was why the boy got upset and tried to threaten him with the fern..

I asked Ace why he did not tell me about this.. "But the one who pushed me not the same boy mah.." he insisted..."But it is related to this INCIDENT mah!" I told him.

I gave it a thought and asked him.. "You omitted this part on purpose right? Because you realized that you were also at fault for giving people this angry look..."

And he sheepishly said yes.

Anyway, today when he was on the way home, he dropped by the Mamashop at the point block. The son of the mamashop owner saw him and asked him if he is ok. He said he saw what happened yesterday and told Ace that the ringleader is a notorious boy who is well known in this area and that he belongs to some gang. No one knows his school but his name is IM.

He also said D said the boys who bullied him were from a school starting with letter P and well, I think there is only one school in this area with the name starting with letter P...


Over the next few days
Over the next few days, many people came and asked me how was it and what did the teacher do. When I posted on FB, many commented that they felt bullies are incorrigible, there were some who even encouraged me to make a police report. Many sent their best wishes to Ace.... many messaged me privately to ask me how he is... Many thanks to everyone cos Ace is doing fine:)

Ah Yee told Ace that if you want to KL and gin people.. you must KL all the way one.. CANNOT CRY! Must KL all the way and gin them all the way.. you cry you lose liao! Wah lau, I think this Ah Yee teaching very bad lessons to my son leh:) haahhaaha... 

I messaged his teacher and updated him what I heard from Ace and Ace's teacher told me that he stopped after asking them what happened as they had to complete the curriculum in time but he warned all involved that this was not the end.

And then the teacher was sick lah.. this and that and over the next few days, there was no sound no color from the school though on the third day, the school counselor came and talked to ace and also went to talk to D.

Lots of people gave me advice about what to do and I was a little apprehensive about what to do because I did not know what the school is doing on their side... will they investigate further to find out which school that Ismail boy is from and inform his school?

I was contemplating if I should lodge a police report just in case something happens again in future. Seems a little 小题大做though.. so I am hesitant to do that but everyone is telling me how it is important to do that to protect Ace.. in case something happens again in future...

I am sort of two minds about this. Since Ace has gotten over it and seemed happy now, I wondered if I should just let it be. I marvel at his abliity to cry so sadly and look so wounded and bounce right back as if nothing has happened afterwards:) More so at his ability to forgive D and be friends again to the extent of worrying about D cos he keeps telling me he does not want D to get into trouble cos D is his friend. I am not quite so forgiving towards people who hurt me and I guess in this area, Ace is a much better example and better friend than I am;)

So on one hand, it doesnt seem like a big deal but on the other, bullying IS a big deal...

I wondered if nothing is done for the boys from the secondary school, will it put Ace into unnecessary danger again because after all, that is a route he will pass by everyday after school. Till now, I have also wondered why D, as a friend of Ace would have ganged up with the other boys.

Plus, I made the mistake of telling Ace that I have informed his teacher and that his teacher will work on it again because they had to finish up the syllabus for exams. So, over the weekend, when Ace's aunty asked him what was the update and what did his teacher do about the bully case, Ace told her "He asked us what happened and nothing else because teacher has to finish the exam syllabus.."

When I heard him say that, it made e realize I might have accidentally made it seem to him like his well being and doing the right thing was less important than exams... I talked to him afterwards and I think it seems that currently, his only concern is that D does not get into trouble:) hahaha.. phew..

So I requested to speak to his teacher either over the phone or face to face and we made a date to meet.

Anyway, I also took this chance to encourage Ace to study hard. Cos I told him if he studied hard and got good results, he can choose to go into Anglican High School after PSLE.... that school does not have too many bullies.. in my experience, the ah beng in the school only just talk louder niah:) hahahaha...
What did you learn?
Because I did not know what the school is doing or will be doing.. I just did the best I could lah. I talked to Ace every now and then to double check that he is ok and once I asked him what did he learn from this.... And this is what Ace said he learnt..

1. If you see a bully, you either walk away...
2. Or you stand up to them and fight them till they are down
3. You should ask for taekwando lessons or some sort of martial arts lessons to protect yourself.
4. Ask for help
5. Study hard and go AHS

Hahahaha...

Meet The Teacher

 Fast forward to the session with his teacher and his teacher really sat down and asked Ace in detail what happened. I am very happy with the way his teacher handled this because he listened to Ace and we agreed on a few things:
- That his teacher will use whatever leads Ace provided to find the two boys and perhaps talk to the boy of if Ace would like it, he can meet the boy and have a closure too...

- He suggested a few other things Ace could do if he met the bullies again. First is to just walk away and ignore them even if they say nasty things... cos as long as you ignore them, they cannot do anything tod you.. go to a public place with alot of people quickly and if all else fails, call his teacher.

- We also agreed that Ace shouldnt give that DIRTY LOOK. Ace's teacher told him that he has seen him doing that look a few times in school too and this is a look that will bring trouble.... THis is something I am very glad the teacher added because I have noticed Ace giving this look a few times and it has made me upset.. and when I cooled down, I explained to him that this look may make people upset though he insisted he did not mean it in a bad way...But I told him he may encourage people to beat him up in future if he did that outside... and this incident is a good example of what I told him!

 - Ace's teacher also affirmed that his classmates did not come forward to help because they felt helpless and that D is not a malicious boy.. he was really just joining in the fun cos he thought it was funny and did not think that it was bullying his classmate.

Now that I think back, I think Ace was lucky that all the bullies and the boys  only verbally laughed at him and did not beat him up or anything and perhaps it was just bad luck for him that things happened in that particular way and the other boys were not being overtly malicious but just reacting to things in the only way they know how...

Anyway, I am glad that this episode is over and that we all agreed to put it behind us.

PS: Actually I think my son very "sart ki" in that when people ask him.. "Why you not happy issit.." in  a menacing manner, he actually gar gar reply, "Yes, I am not happy.." Hahahahaha... I dunno if I would be that brave to do that!:)

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