Thursday, April 07, 2016

We Just Play Lor

So Ace has this friend whom he used to play with every now and then and even though they were from different class, they play together every now and then and are on quite good terms with each other...

Then one day, Ace came to me and said he is sad because this person went out of a chatgroup he formed and when Ace added him, he exited again and even said something along the lines of them not being friends anymore...

Ace did not understand why this person did not want to be in the chatgroup and I told him sometimes people feel annoyed if they are bz and you keep messaging them mah..

And that was that... That happened during the holidays...

When they went back to school, Ace noticed that this person seem to ignore him or worse still, sometimes he seemed to be upset at Ace.

Ace came home and told me that this boy doesnt seem to want to be his friend and given that things related to friendships are best sorted out by the persons involved, I told him if he is upset by this, there are two things he can do. Before he does that, he needs to ask himself, does he value this friendship very much:

1) If he does, the way to get out of the situation is to talk to the person involved and find out if there is any misunderstanding.

2)If he doesnt value it that much, he can just make other friends lor...

Ace did neither:) Hahahahaa... he valued the friendship but was chicken and so he got another boy who knows this boy to ask him like why are you like this to Ace... And the boy replied, "He is not my friend lor.. dun talk about him liao lah..."

Since he kept saying Ace is not his friend... I guess perhaps there is some misunderstanding where he felt Ace something that a friend should not do or something like tat lah..

Fast forward to few days back, Ace came and asked me for a hug.  I asked him why and he told me there is some reason but he cannot tell me in case I went to complain to someone...

Wah lau, wanna act ke lian and act coy.

Anyway, after me and Max "applied more pressure", he finally opened up and told us that the other day  after school, they went to the playground to play for a while and this boy pushed him.

"Huh.. then I complain to who?" I asked him...

And I realized then that Ace thought I might complain to the boy's mother as I know her as well. I laughed and told Ace that it is common for people to play and shove each other around. I wouldnt really complain about that unless he is injured or hurt or in danger.

I explained to him that this is something he has to sort out himself.

I asked him if the boy has pushed him ALOT or was that the first time.. was it intentional or unintentional? Was it a very hard push or a light push..

So Ace said that they were playing and the boy intentionally pushed him and said "Siam lah!" And he pushed with enough force that Ace fell back and thank goodness he landed on his friend who pushed him back up. Lest you feel very upset on Ace's behalf, I must also say it doesnt take MUCH for Ace to fall over one.. so likely I think they were just playing and Ace was in the way and hence the push..

And again, I reminded Ace that he has to ask that important question and sort this out himself.

Because pushing could lead to a dangerous situation, I told him that he has to stand up for himself if this happened again. First time we can take it that it was unintentional but if this repeatedly happens, he has to tell the other person to STOP and ask him why is he doing that.

The next day, while we were out for breakfast, Max had a discussion with me over this. He wondered if I should go have a friendly talk with the boy's mother but I told him it is silly to go talk to people just cos your son was pushed lah.. hahahahaha;)

Whatever made him upset at Ace... if we talked to the mother, she would most certainly ask him about it and he will all the more be upset at Ace lor. At this point, best is the two boys sort it out themselves. No doubt pushing is not right and all that but why should I go teach other people's children what to do? Probably only make it unpleasant for everyone involved...

My experience of the little boy is that he is a rather boisterous boy and he is somewhat prideful... But he is a good boy and a polite one too... so leave it to the boys lor...

THe next day, Ace came home from school and said, "Mummy, me and X are friends already... Not like the past but we are friends..."

"REally? THat's great!" I told him.. "WHat did you do or say?" I asked him...

"We just play lor..." he answered.

Hahahahahahahaha.. THat was a pleasant surprise to hear.. I must say we adults really complicate things lor:) hahaha

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