Monday, September 19, 2016

Monitor No More


I still remember how excited Ace was when he told me that he was selected as class monitor...

Today, out of nowhere, when we were traveling out for dinner with his Dad, he said he had something to tell me and that it was a touchy topic and that he did not want to say it to Daddy cos Daddy might scold him.

I asked him if it was something he did wrong and he said no... And his dad asked if he took drugs? Bullied someone? Fought with someone? If the answer to all these is no, then why will he scold him...

So Ace took a moment to think and told us this TOUCHY SUBJECT was actually that his teacher had announced that they are going to change class monitors to give other people a chance at it and they have already selected new monitors (both male and female monitors graduated and were replaced by other students).

And then he started on this long story of how his replacement monitor was his friend, N, and how he has handed over the badge to him... but handover not totally complete as he has to guide N what to do and work together with him... Then he said that when two people were quarreling, N's way of dealing with it was to nicely tell them to stop quarreling but they were still quarreling.. and so he had to step in by shouting at them (because they were very loud and you need to shout to be heard he says) to stop.. and asking them to apologize to each other.. which they did.

I was a little amused at the way he handled things... a little high D (domineering) I will say and I wonder why he has not learnt tact from both his parents:) hahahaa...

I told him also that I noticed N when I was volunteering and I think he seems like a responsible young chap and will certainly grow into a fine leader as a monitor...

At this point, his dad said he still doesnt understand what is so touchy about this...

And Ace said very sadly... "The touchy part is that I lost my position of leadership... And I am very sad about it...."

His dad asked him if his teacher explained why he wanted to change monitors... And Ace said yes.. his teacher said he wanted to give other children a chance too....

"So it is not your fault right?" Daddy asked.

"Ya..." Ace replied.

"But do you accept your teacher's explanation?" His dad asked again..

And he mumbled something which indicated that he did not fully accept the reason and my guess is probably feels like he did not do his best or did not do well enough and was thus "DEMOTED"....

I turned around to him and told him.. "Well Ace, we love you whether you are monitor or not you know..."

And at this point, he started to cry... I guess he thought of his role as a monitor as some sort of badge of honor he wore that made us proud and was worried we will be upset.

We had arrived at our destination and so I walked over and opened the car door next to him to give him a hug....

And then his dad explained to him that his teacher probably thought they already have been doing well and it is time to give the chance to other people to be trained.. And I agreed... Instead of seeing this as him being "demoted", he should see this as him graduating... and therefore he no longer needs to be in this position...

And Max ended this discussion beautifully by telling Ace... "This is your first official leadership position and life is such that such positions come and go.... Don't mind too much about it... True leaders don't really mind if they are given the names of leaders.. true leaders step up when needed..."

So Ace was still moody the first 5 minutes of dinner but afterwards, he was ok already:)

PS: He told me a few days later that his friend who became monitor also settled into the position nicely :) I guess everyone is happy now:)

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