A Visit To Haikal's House

I visited Haikal together with Max and Ace again.

When I look at Haikal, I am so happy at the progress that he has made. When we first visited him, Haikal was often uneasy when he is at home and bites his hands. But he is always happy to see us and as we visit him more, we realize that he recognizes us and responds to the love that we have showered on him.... I feel happy thinking that we would have played a small part in helping him to get rid of the habit of biting on his hands. (I told him gently that he should love his hands and take care of them.. Ace reminded him not to bite his hands and then I sent love to him.. hoping it will resolve the emotion that is causing the hand-biting. After that, I never saw him wear the glove again and when i asked, his parents say he has stopped biting his hands)

Because we only visit them once every two months, we hung around and chatted with his mum a bit... we talked about how Hakal, despite being down with cerebal palsy and not being physically able, Haikal appreciates soccer and shouts "Goal, ma!" when he watches soccer on TV.

And then we talked about how Haikal's dad, despite turning 59 yesterday still has to wake up at 5am in the morning, walk 20 min to the MRT station, take an MRT to bedok and then be sent to his work place- a construction site and do 8-1o hours of labour intensive work... before he returns home...all that to earn a mere $900 to support his whole family (Haikal's mum is force to stay at home because taking care of him is already a full time job)... we were discussing if we can find a safer and easier job for him..

And then, Haikal's mum told us that Haikal will be turning 12 on December 2nd this year and a little shot of pain went through my heart....

I have always thought that people who are underpreviledged are pitiful. But when I got to know this family and many other poor families through my work with the lions club, I discovered these people whom I have deemed 'pitiful' are happy in their own way and are in no way worse off than me.. other than what money came buy, they are usually many times richer than most of us in spirit and in their hearts. So since then, I have decided to stop 'pitying' them and share out of love than pity...

But when the talk came to be about Haikal's age, I couldn't help but feel sad and a small tinge of pity....

I often wondered how Ace will be like when he grows up to be 10, when he is 12, when he turns 18, when he is 21, when he is 25..

And in my mind, when Ace turns 12, he will be having lots of fun... he will probably be playing some sports games in school and would be taking his PSLE and even score very well.. he might even start to realize that his voice is breaking or that girls are starting to notice him a little more.. At 12 years old though, all Haikal can do is lie on the floor and smile at us happily.

Haikal grunts when he talks and only can do one syllabul at a time. His hands are twisted and have lots of marks as he likes to chew on them and in trying to shake hands with him, he at best manages a high five with us. He cannot sit up straight without support or help and cannot even crawl. He needs help to go to toilet (which is why our Lions Club supplies him with XL size diapers), he cannot chew all that well (which is also why he needs the very expensive sort of milk powder to supplement his nutritional need). He is 12 but he looks only slightly longer than Ace who is 4. Haikal is also on medication which his mum says are for his kidneys and he has to take his medication daily.. till the day he dies...

Even so, Haikal doesnt seem to think he deserves pity or complains that life is unfair to him and neither does his parents.... everytime see them, they are always filled with love and joy...

Despite all his limitations due to CP, Haikal is just a little boy at heart. He appreciates a good joke and likes watching Mr Bean. He love watching musical dramas as he has a good ear for music. Like all little boys, he loves watching football and refuses to let his mum change channel whenever the football match comes on. And even though he is not able to express himself very well, he understands all that we say and smiles when we tell him he is handsome or when we talk about his upcoming birthday.

He understands when Ace is playing with him and plays along by looking at Ace and giggling at him. He smiles especially happily when we are sending all our love to him and he loves taking photos... immediately going into a smile the moment we take out the camera and breaking out into an even wider grin when we show him the picture.

The thing is this; most children with Cerebal Palsy like Haikal do not live to adulthood. The more severe their condition, the lower chance they have of surviving into adulthood. Since Haikal is unable to sit up straight on his own and unable to do many things, I would think his condition is quite severe.

A year older, seems to indicate that he has one year less left on earth... and that pains my heart...

I am sure his parents are aware of the low possibility of him making pass 20 years old but here they are, old as they are, doing their utmost to love their son and shower him with love, care and concern... using every ounce of strength they have to protect him and to give him a good life. This, I feel, makes Haikal a very lucky kid, possibly even luckier than children who have able bodies but no love from their parents at all.

His parents are really quite old (I think old enough to be my grandparents)... and while they are not down with any sickness, they too suffer from the aches and pains of old age and despite that, they have to carry Haikal to the toilet, carry him around, feed him, change his daipers and that is really not easy. If I think the 4 year old and 19kg Ace is a huge load to carry, I am sure his mother finds it much harder to handle the 12 year old Haikal on a daily basis.. and still she does it.. without complains and always with a smile on her face...

I guess, I should not pity them.. even if Haikal leads a short life, he would have lived a life filled with love... that is something worth rejoicing over and something to be proud of...

One day, when Ace is older, I would like to have a talk with him about this.. while it is important to desire to be successful and rich, and it is important to have money, we must never forget or neglect the richness in our spirit and in their hearts.

For now though, I am just glad to share the richness in their hearts when we also open our hearts and share our love and a little of what we have with them.

If you would also like to contribute to make Haikal's life better, you can help by doing the following:

1. Donating diapers (XL size) in kind. He wears like 3-4 pieces of diapers everyday.



2. Donating Pediasure Vanilla flavour milk powder in kind (cos he drinks that daily)



3. Donating a ticket to watch a LIVE football match in the Sleague to fulfill his birthday wish



4. Donating money in kind through our club. We would use the money to buy him diapers and milk. Our help has made it possible for his parents to bring him for a 3 day trip to malaysia.



5. Last but not least, if you are unable to donate any of the following, it would really be enough just to send blessings to Haikal and send him lots of love. It helps to know that others care for you and I assure you, Haikal can feel all your love :)

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