Today, Ace came home from school with a smile on his face and told me, "Easy Chinese exam!"
And then and excitedly told me... "Mummy, teacher told me that I likely can pass cos he already looked through my Chinese paper and started marking.."
I asked him, "Did you tell your teacher that your goal is 80 marks and not just PASS?" Hahahaha...
"Yeah, he means I can do well... not just pass..." Ace tried to explain further...
And because we were talking about goals... Ace suddenly remembered that he has a goal and that I said if he met his target, I will buy him the Nerf Modulus system that he wanted...
And then... He remembered that he already got his math paper...
"I scored a 80 for math.. cos I lost some points for careless mistake..." Ace said. And at this point, he remembered his goal for math was to get 90 marks... you could literally see his face start to panic... He must be thinking.. "Shit, I must be losing my nerf modulus!"
And then, he tried to explain.. "Mummy, the only people who scored 90 and above are the Tentanium people..." And I told him that is for sure.. because "They had more practice..."
And then he went into his room and moped... as he sat there and moped, he realized that his chance of buying his nerf modulus on his own is also slim because he lost $45 that he saved up to buy that when he lost his wallet... and he went into a downward, instant depression mode.
His whole face was a look of defeat...
I explained to him that one should not give up at the last leg of the race. Even though he did not do well for math, if he were to choose to spend time feeling upset, then he will not do well for science too.
And then he just continued to sulk.
I told him to eat his lunch and he just sat there and ate his lunch listlessly I see he very ke lian.. so I tried to show some concern...
I asked him if he was ok.. and I told him that I understand that it must feel like shit to feel like he cannot get the toy he wants cos he did not meet target.. and it must feel even more shitty cos it also feels like he will need a long time to save up to buy himself since he lost the $45. But in life, there are accidents that happen like losing one's wallet and sometimes life does not go quite our way... and the important thing is how you pick yourself up after you meet a setback.
I told him I understand that he is upset but my initial purpose of offering the reward was to support him by motivating him... not to make him feel bad... And I understand he will need time to burn off those feelings but i really hope he dun take too long cos his battle is not ever yet as there is a science paper the next day too. Anyway, if he needs a hug to feel better, he can tell me and I will be more than happy to offer it.
And then... he continue to sulk... say he dun want to eat liao... and hor... YOu know wat our good friend did after tat? He sat down a read Dairy of a Whimpy Kid...
When I saw that.. I was feeling like #$*#*$(*#$%&*(&%*$%$*&%(!
But I lunz.... Still, after a short while, I cannot help it... I told him.. that i really think he is showing very bad attitude....
And it was time to go for guitar and we just brought him there in silence cos I dun want to talk to him when he is in this kind of bad attitude mode. It took me all my willpower not to say anything else that is nagging or scolding as I decided I am going to leave him to it..
While waiting for him to finish guitar, I was a little worried that he might go guitar in a bad mood and it might affect his guitar lesson.
But when I went to pick Ace up, he was like a different little boy! He was radiant and happy because he told me that his teacher told him he is getting good now and quite sure to pass the Grade 1 test.. and so he will likely be promoted to Grade 2 next term!
And as he is in super good mood.. I told him that for doing this well, I will buy him gong cha...
And then I explained to him that he cannot give up now... not at the last leg of the race cos tat means all he did before all useless... me and his dad want most is that he do his best.. if he shows tat he gives his all and he never gives up, we can negotiate... he can also do chores to earn his money for the Nerf Modulus... He should know that if he shows good attitude, we are always happy and will be willing to negotiate... "Who likes to nego with a person who shows black face?" I asked him.
And suddenly, he is filled with hope again...
Now that he is full of hope and hears me... he told me, "Mummy, actually you know I made a big improvement from SA1.... I improved by 10 marks leh!" "Yes, that is actually a huge improvement.." I agreed...
And when he reached home, he is working hard again.
But as I think back... Seems like when he is in a bad mood, he will go read something. Maybe it is his way of burning off his feelings or what and maybe I should learn to respect that is his process of letting off steam may be different from mine and also trust that while he tends to go into a tantrum, he has the maturity to realize it and become aware and the heart to overcome and get over it too.
Anyway, I am just glad he is back on track:) Cos you know hor son.. no one gives up on last leg of the race one.. is super loogi when you do tat cos you already invested all the hard work!
Postscript on 12th Nov:
He still got a reward in the end. He got a NERF STRYFE but he is not allowed to play till he packs his room:) hahaha...
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