If you feel like blaming your children for anything, STOP.
They already blame themselves enough!
Did you know that children feel it is their fault when parents have problems?
Did you know that all children feel guilt when there are problems in the family?
According to a famous psychologist who has been doing research for the past 30 over years, children almost always feel they are at fault when:
- their family has financial problems
- one of their parents are abused
- parents are separated and divorced
I know because my family used to suffer from financial issues as well and even though I was not aware, now that I think back, I think I was very guilty of the fact that the family had such a problem but I could not help my parents by making any money at all.
The problem is sometimes made worse when parents tell them, "Before you were born, our family was like this...." As per what happened to my sister. My mum always told her that our family was leading a good life before she was born. It was a factual statement and not insulating anything but the young little girl who heard it only heard, "you are bad luck, that is why since you were born, the family has had lots of bad luck...."
So do be careful what you tell your children. They are really easily hurt.
But if you have already hurt them, it is ok, they can heal and there is nothing a little more love would not heal! :)
IN summary, give your children LOTS OF LOVE!
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