The Ego Mind

Ace is always very concerned about doing the "right" thing...

Every single thing he does wrong.. he keeps harping on it and the first thing he would do is to ask if the police will catch him. For example, if you tell him that it is disrespect to trample on the flag of Singapore and it is ILLEGAL to do that.. if he accidentally steps on his toy singapore flag while playing, he will spend the whole evening worrying about what if the policemen come and catch him and throw him into jail.. and it will take tonnes of explaination and assurance before he gets over it.

If he finds out that MOLEST means to touch other people when they never give you permission, he will quickly inform you if his hand brushes past someone's bum or someone's arm... and worry also about whether the police will catch him and throw him into jail.

Sometimes it can get quite irritating as he tends to worry about the smallest things.

The other day, he came to me looking very worried and told me, "Mummy, I cannot stop thinking about the P word..."

I asked him what word it is and he says it is the word , Penis...

I told him it is a choice and he can choose to stop thinking about it and instead, think about other things.

Then yet another day, he says he is very worried because his brain keeps asking him to think about marrying someone who is already married. (I actually think on this account, he is just trying to get my attention) And the "someone" turned out to be Aunty Power.. and he got worried that she will scold him. So I had to explain to him that firstly, Aunty POWER does not know lor.. so she cannot get angry.. so even if she know, this is really quite a silly idea right.. (And ace giggled) so I told him, "Even you know it is silly... so Aunty Power will know it is silly and so she will just laugh it off. I dun think she will get angry at you at all.."

Finally, he came again one night and told me that his brain cannot stop having bad thoughts and he was really getting frustrated.

So I had to explain to him that as a human being, it is not quite possible to totally only have GOOD thoughts... and tried to explain to him a little what I learnt about meditation from a reown monk. The monk told us to just watch our thoughts and not have any judgement on it..merely observe it.. and tat itself is good meditation work...

To go one step furthur, I tried to explain to Ace my own beliefs and what I learnt from my own teachers Chuck and Lency Spezzano... that our mind contains both the EGO and the HIGHER MIND. As long as we have the ego, which we all do... we will always have ego thoughts.. and ego thoughts are never about the truth.. merely what makes the ego feel good. And because since we are 2 or 3 years old, we have become so accustommed to having our ego around, we started to believe and think that our ego is actually US! We forget that we are something even bigger and better...

But the good news is that inside us, there is a higher mind that also shares higher mind thoughts.. thoughts about what is true and what is good.

And so, whenever we have a bad ego thought, it is merely enough to tell our ego, "Ok, thank you for sharing.." and let it go.. and instead choose to listen to our higher mind... There is no need to get upset or jdugemental at ourselves for having ego thoughts... "Everyone has them.." I told Ace..
"Even me, daddy... and even Uncle Chuck and Aunty Lency.... The only difference is that they thank their ego for sharing and choose instead to listen to their higher mind.." i told Ace.

At this point, I remember a spirtual download that a friend passed to me before I left.. it was a gift for self annihilation of the ego.. so I decided to share this gift within with Ace by doing a joining with him. I asked him to look at me into the eyes and we did joining for a few minutes.

Ace told me that he felt like there is a knife coming inside to kill off his ego mind in his brain.. And that he is happy the higher mind wins... I think he is reading too much into it and having too active an imagination. But I guess he sort of understands the idea.. so to me, that was enough as there wasn;t anythign more I could explain in words for him to understand...

I told him that whenever he has ego thoughts, just go to the part in his mind with this gift and kill off the ego...

Since then, he stopped bugging me about the "wrong" things that he has done.. hahaha.. PHEW...

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