I Don't Deserve The Prize

My son has a 5-min-passion attitude towards most things. Most things are at best a passing fad to him.

Only one thing is constant.. PLAY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO HIM IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. Wahahahaha...

Since Ace received his Sansho chart, he has been working hard on chanting everyday. By the third week, as it was his school term break, he actually chanted for 15-30 min everyday. And then it slowly became only 15 min a day on alternate days.... And then it became only sansho...

And then for a few days, he forgot to sansho... and then I noticed he doesnt even shansho when I remind him.

One day, I decided to chant together with him and as I am often seated on the right side of Ace or if I am chanting alone, I am sort of in the middle and so I don't give much attention to Ace. This particular time, he decided to sit on the right side of the butsudan and so i have to seat on the left side.. which made me right beside the sansho chart. When I turned to look at it, I finally understood why Ace stopped chanting for a few days...

When we gave out the chart, just to encourage them to get going, we promised them a little gift they managed to complete EVERY SINGLE star. We knew they were going to miss out here and there actually and  we were still going to give them a little gift for trying hard actually.

When Ace missed out a few days, he got discouraged and thought he is not going to get a prize so he scribbled on his chart, "I don't deserve the prize..."

And that was the reason why he stopped chanting for a few days cos he simply gave up.. because he is not going to get the present.

I was so fuming mad when I was still chanting and he is lucky I was chanting.. cos if not he sure kenna from me...

We completed our 15 min prayers and then I went to the room to cool down somemore cos I was still sort of mad and very disappointed. When I felt better, I told him I wanted to talk to him and asked him why he wrote that on the paper. He said he was upset that he was not going to get the prize.

I asked him if he was chanting to get his prayers answered or chanting for the prize? "Which one is more important?" I asked him and he said his prayers were more important... "Did you get your prayers answered?" I asked him... And he acknowledged one that one of his prayers was answered. (He chanted to get 15 house points a week and received 23 house points in a day!) The others are still work in progress..

Then I asked him if he knew why I was upset with him for this and I explained to him that I am upset because I am very disappointed. I am disappointed that he gave up the fight without fighting just like that. That is not the attitude of a winner but a loser. If a person gives up at the first challenge he has, he will never be able to reach his goal. If that is how he is going to approach his life.. by giving up without even trying, then he will never reach his goal and never be a winner. And then i asked if he would like to be a winner or a loser and asked him what sort of choices a winner will make.

Sometimes we make mistakes and in a moment of weakness, we may choose the loser's attitude and make a  bad decision BUT once we are aware, we can always make a different choice.

And then, as with all prep talks, it always ends with a hug lor...

And so, Ace has started chanting on off on off again:)

PS: He received a new daimoku chart at our last jpd meeting and he has set a goal to chant 5 min for every square he colours. His new prayers are:

1. To get 75 points for chinese test so that daddy brings him to the arcade again.
2. To have the wisdom to finish his homework fast so that he can play with his friends by 5pm.
3. To save up enough money to buy an ipad.

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