The other day, I had a really traumatic day.. it started with Max arriving back in Singapore and me feeling really unhappy cos he was perpetually bz for his short trip back... something or someone is always occupying his attention and so I was already quite unhappy because I felt like I did not really get to spend quality time with him...so was already tearing in my bed at times...
And then comes D day.. D day before he flies back off to Dubai again and me not knowing when he will come back.. D day where for the first time, I drive into the circuit.. D day where I met Mr Ang, the super strict driving instructor with a fiery temper... D day where I teared non stop for my 2 hour driving lesson.. D day where I called Max after my lesson and cried till I hyperventillate...
So anyway, because I was crying so badly, I told Max i needed to go home to freshen up and so he went to pick Ace while I went home to freshen up..
The mixture of Max leaving me, the feeling of failure, the feeling of loss all was too overwhelming for me at one shot. That day, I was what people would describe a "lei ren"... I was crying when I was walking home, I was crying when I reached home, crying when i was bathing, crying when I was in the toilet...so my eyes were swollen and red... so when Ace finally saw me... even though Max only told him I was not feeling good today, he asked me when he saw me, "Mummy, what are you worrying about?" and gave me a hug and then I started crying again..
If you thought at this point, my sensitive loving son would hug me somemore and tell me it is ok, you are in for a big surprise!
At this point, my son said, "Hahahaha.. mummy.. you are a cry baby.. you are a big cry baby!" and laughed heartily!
Fast forward to about 4 days later... I am more at ease during driving lessons, I have gotten used to Mr Ang and even found that I like him quite alot...Max has already left and there seems to be finally some confirmation about how things are... and I was having a conversation with Ace in the car on the way home...
We were talking about how sometimes people cry when they are sad and so Ace asked me if I cried that day because I was sad and I told him I was.
And then he suddenly told me, "I am sorry mummy I laugh at you and call you a cry baby that day. You are not a cry baby..." So I hugged him and told him i forgive him.
And then he asked me why I was sad and I told him I was sad that day.. "Because... because..." the thought of Max being away made me choke back my words and Ace completed the sentence for me, "because daddy will be away for long long time?"
"Yeah.."I nodded my head and wiped off two drops of tears.
"You cry finish already?" Ace asked..
"Yes, I finish already..."
And then he started giggling.."Hahahaha.. CRY BABY!"
"Oi, I thought you say I am not a crybaby already?"
"Hahahaahhaa..." Ace continued to giggle... "I am not laughing at you, I am laughing at the tears.." and he continued to laugh out loud.
FAINTZ lor!
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