Can I Hold Your Hand

Ace was away for the weekend because Nainai is not working this month and Ace havent been staying there for a long long time...

I was initially packed with activities but one unfortunate incident after another, I was left dateless and eventless and had nothing to do for the whole weekend. I ended up spending the whole night and day sleeping and catching up on work.

As I had time to burn, I decided to support my good friend, Yixing, in his new production called Secret Garden that is currently showing on wed at 8pm on Channel U.... there was a scene where this girl who always wanted attention from her father suffered from bulimia because he was always working... in tat scene, her father decided that his daughter was the most important and decided to take a pay cut and knock off on time everyday so that he could cook dinner and eat together with his daughter...

I cried very hard for that scene.. it started off because I was touched but as I got started I cried so hard because I suddenly realized that actually all i ever wanted to do is to cook and eat together with my family...

No wonder I kept eating when I returned to singapore.. because when my this little wish is not fulfilled, I feel this void inside me and I just keep eating, hoping that I might fill it up...


Hai.. just miss Max so much I wanted to pack my bags and just go dubai without caring about anything in the world...

Anyway, I finally made it through the boring friday evening and saturday... and when Karen said she can meet up, I was so happy when I could pick Ace up from his grandma's place...

I was really happy to see Ace and I guess that even though I was worried about how we might get along 24/7 in dubai.. i found that I mostly really enjoy his company.. and I enjoyed it so much that when I was left alone, I suddenly felt a little lost and lonely.. hahaha..

Anyway, maybe Ace felt somewhat the same too and he was super duper nice to me.. sharing his donut with me even though he loved eating donuts and telling me he love me all the time..

Then at night when I was laying down on bed with him, he asked me, "Mummy, can I hold your hand or not?"

"Why do you need to hold my hand when you sleep?" I asked him.

"I need to hold your hand so that your love can flow to my heart and my heart can feel warm... " And then he explained furthur... "When we hold hands, then your love will go into my hands and then into all over me.. and then I will feel warm and happy.. and then my love will flow to you and all over you..."

Aww... so sweet...

"I love you, mummy.." Ace continued..

"I love you too, Ace.. " I replied and gave him a kiss...

"You are my sweet mummy... I love you, mummy... You are the best mummy in the whole wide world..."

"I love you too.. " I told him.. "No matter what.." I added...

And then Ace said something very strange..."Mummy, I don't want to do all the bad and naughty things anymore.. but I do not know how to take out the bad naughty things out from my mind... I think I need a doctor to use a real knife and cut open my hide to take out my brain and change a new brain...."

I told him that everyone has naughty thoughts and if he really did change his brain, he would be thinking different thoughts and liking different things and then, he wouldnt be Ace anymore...

"Then how?" he asked me... and instead of answering him, I asked him, "What do you think you can do to overcome this?"

"I have to forgive myself lor.. But I forgive already still like that..." he said.

So I reminded him about the Smile And Move story that we read a long time ago and that all he needs to do is to remember to SMILE AND MOVE:)

"Ok" ..and with that, he fell asleep...

Previous Post: Fun With Zoob