Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Talk Nicely Lah


The other day, when I was out, I called home to check on Ace and because I did not give clear instructions, my dad gave Ace the wrong medication for his throat infection. So I asked him, "Aiya, if you are not sure, why didn't you call me to check with me?"

I guess my dad thought I was blaming him (and maybe part of him was because I also wanted to cover up my guilt for forgetting to give clear instructions), so he got upset and talked loudly with me..

At night when we were sleeping, Ace told me he heard gong gong talk very loud and very rude to someone in the phone and so I told him that someone was ME:) And then I explained what happened that caused gong gong to talk like this...

"But why he is so rude like that? How come he talk rude things?" he continued to ask...

"Well, what to do?" I told him. "He is my father leh, he can talk rude to me but I cannot talk rude to him leh..."

"No leh, you talk rude to Popo leh. Everytime Popo ask you computer things you always scold her..." Ace said...

So I explained to him why I got upset at Popo about the computer things (because she asked me to teach her how to use the computer and copied the steps in a notebook BUT LOST THE NOTEBOOK 3 TIMES and still keep asking me the same questions) If you were me, will you be upset?

"Ya... but ah.. dun be rude to Popo lah... " And then Ace tapped my hand and said, "有什么事,慢慢讲,好好讲..."

"Okie, I will work hard on that..." I told him...

And then I carried on to share with him about my experience with the X point exercise I did at my POV workshops. In the past, I always wondered why even though I loved my mum alot and I know she loves me alot too... whenever I see her and talk to her, I just automatically feel very angry and upset and cannot help but shout at her... I later found out that this anger is linked to this misguided concept I had when I was young.. that when mum got pregnant with my sis, I felt betrayed and angry because I thought it meant I was not special and not good enough for them.. tat is why they wanted another kid....

But I really forgot I had such a grieviance towards my parents, my mum especially... till I did an exercise that brought me back to that memory and boy was I angry at her! I have always been a quick tempered person but I have never known or felt such rage in my life...

Anyway, I told Ace that maybe that is why I havent had the courage to have another baby because I am afraid if I have another baby, Ace might feel the same way about me and treat me the same way...

"Don't worry, mummy... I will love Didi and Mei Mei and take care of them forever... " he told in a very assured tone... "And I will love you no matter what... even if you scold me ah.. or if you beat me ah... I will still love you forever... you are my best mummy!"

That night, I had the best sleep ever filled with lots of love floating in the air. I am so thankful to Ace for his assurance and his big loving heart!

Thank you, Ace!

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