Z Doesn't Like Me!

You know how children always have their small quibbles and then make up the very next day, sometimes in the very next minute?

Well, Ace had a very good friend in school called Z and the other day, he told me he is going to share with me a TOP SECRET about Z. "It is top secret and you cannot tell anyone.. especially T or T's mum and dad..." I know T and his parents know Z and his parents but I was curious as to what sort of secret it is such that I am not allowed to tell these particular people.. so I asked  him what is it.

And the secret is...

"Z does not like me.."

"How do you know?" I asked him. "He told me.. he said it loudly to everyone in the bus that he does not like me!"

I surprised myself by not being upset about it at all. Hahahaha.. usually I am quite petty and take things personally if anyone attacks my son:) wahahahaha...  Perhaps I have grown even older and even more mature.. wahhahhaah...

Anyway, I remembered that Ace always comes home and tells me that Z says he does not like this person or that person. So probably no surprise. But I am curious why I am not supposed to tell T so I asked him why I cannot tell T?

"Because if T knew, he will think I got upset and if he thinks I am upset, he will try to cheer me up.. but he always does strange things to cheer me up...."

Apparently, T was not in the bus when Z said that.. and Ace said that the other time, when Z did not want to play with him and he was feeling lonely, T tried to cheer him up by touching his shoulder and running away... "It was like he is playing a Ace Cannot Catch Me game with me and it only made me feel worse... "

"But maybe he wanted to cheer you up by playing with you.." I said. "Yes, he wanted to cheer me up.. but it only made me feel worse...Because he kept running away from me and I was already feeling lonely. " "Then you should tell him that and tell him what you needed to make you feel better..." I told Ace.

Anyway, I tried to talk some sense into my son lah.. as I feel this is a fact of life..

Me: Ok Ace, let me ask  you, have you ever heard Z say he doesn't like other people?

Ace: Yes.

Me: Does it happen often? As in he often says he doesnt like this person or that person?

Ace: Yes, but in the past, he will tell ME who he doesnt like and this time, he told everyone he doesnt like me!

Me: Yes, but Ace, if you are friends with a person who has the habit of saying that they don't like this person or that person, chances are that one day, they will also say they do not like you... Because, this is their habit.. their pattern and the way they handle things.  People have a particular way of doing things and it doesnt change easily...

Ace: I know...

Me: So, if you want to be friends with this person and you know that he has this habit, then you must ask yourself if you can accept it. If you have no problem with that and love him anyway and want to be with his friend anyway, then you can still choose to be his friend. If you cannot take it or don't like it to happen, you can choose to not be friends with him anymore or not be so close to him anymore. Besides, sometimes when people are upset, they say things they don't mean... sometimes it is their way of calling for attention or help...

Ace: I know... he was actually upset at something else and so that is why he said that to me...

Me: Well, so are you going to play with him still and be his friend?

Ace: Yeah..

Me: Ok, good, then just be his friend still and play with him. But find a day where he is in a good mood and you can have a talk with him. It is not right and doesnt feel good for you when he is upset at something else and vents the anger on you by telling you that he doesnt like you... Good friends don't do that to each other..  If he is upset, you can always listen to him or give him a hug or just sitting quietly next to him and letting him know that someone cares is also helpful for him.. he can come and share his problems with you but need not choose to vent it out on you.

So much so for this "TOP SECRET".. Hahahahaa!

PS: A week later, Ace declares that Z is is BESTEST Friend and T is his FOREVER FRIEND:) I dunno wat tat means though:) wahahahha....

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