I know I have always been talking about how much exam stress Ace is going to have when he comes back to Singapore...
Somehow though, the three of us have been conditioned to be relaxed about exams because in Dubai, there is no preparation for exams. Exams are just a way to test if you have learnt what you are supposed to learn and they are just graded according to whether they are excellent, good, on par or behind what children their age should know.
So now that it is exams, I think all three of us are struggling with how we should meet up with this challenge.
For Ace, I think he doesnt seem to still understand EXAMS.. he just thinks of them as tests... and it is enough if he has completed his school homework and does well in his test. To him, with that, he is WELL PREPARED.
For me as a parent, I am also not sure how to face up to this challenge.
Do I push Ace or do I encourage and remind him. How far do I push him? Or do I let him go and long piak and then he will understand?
And also, just how do I revise with him? Is it enough that he does all the school practice papers and homework he has been given?
In the end, I decided I will just remind him.. if he dun want to study.. his problem. Wahahahaha...
And somemore, I tell him I cannot work his revision schedule around him..but has to work around my timing. Eg if I am going out in the afternoon, he only has morning to work things out with me. Afternoon he has to do self study or the homework that I give him.
However, I find that he is not really much of a self starter. When I all home to check if he has been doing his homework, he will tell me he has forgotten to do his homework. And then leh, always after one bout of scolding and nagging.. he will be hardworking for one day.. and then be lazy the next two days.
His pattern is the same no matter what I do or dun do.. so I just have to factor tat in.. sigh..
Then we try to use reward system.. if he scores above 90, he gets a reward.. in fact, lots of rewards. He will get permission to buy a phone, he will get to own a tablet, he will get to own and wear a limited edition g shock watch... all which he says he wants very much but yet he doesnt put in effort to study..
I am not sure how I should correct his attitude also because I think it is nice to treat exams with a ping chang xin.. but I dun like it that he doesnt seem to be giving his all and is taking it easy.
Was chatting with my sis today and she says, "Ace very relaxed during his exams hor... I think you also very relaxed leh.. I hope I can be as cool as you when my son is this age and having exams.."
But I am not so sure if us being relaxed is good.. hahaha :)
Today when I picked him up from school, he told me that he scored 69.5 for his english exam. That is way below what I expected from him. I was expecting a 80 and above considering he has been doing well in all his tests. He says based on his exam results, he is placed in band 3.. but becos of his test, he will be in band 2.. and that is where most of his favourite friends are in.. so there is high chance they will be in same class next year...
But he says he is a little sad because he cannot get his reward. But if dun think about his reward, he is very happy.. because he is average in his class. Highest mark in his class only 80. Faintz...
Anyway, Ace called his dad to ask him something.. and I already told his dad his results. But leh, even though his dad prompted him.. he did not tell his dad about his results over the phone.. I asked him about it and he explained to me..
"I did not tell daddy about my results because it is not so good... so better to face to face tell him when I can see that he has a happy face... he is working now and is sometimes grumpy when he is working.. so better dun tell him over the phone.." Very kiang lor! Wahahahahaa..
Today is his math exam. He said he did not manage to finish it and maybe will score 80. I am not tat hopeful...
So.. can I be cool... should I continue to be cool? I am still thinking and learning... hahahaha...
Also, there is this thing called the Mother's guilt.. somehow somewhere.. some part in me feels like it is my fault he did not score 90 and above and that I am the one who did not prepare him well enough. Just how do you guide and push him to his best ability without making it seem like you are forcing him to do something?
Well, the good news is, I have decided that I will start this 12 module program called Conscious Parenting together with my friends and i have *gulp* decided to offer to facilitate the program.. hahaha :) I am sure we will learn some cool things and perhaps when I am ready, I might even start a class and see how many of my parent friends are interested:) Hee...
PS: Now that we are in the midst of exam and in the full swing of things hor, I think my o level revision method of 10 years series is still the best lah. I shall download and make him do lots of other school exam papers during school holidays so tat he has good foundation!:) wahahaha..
PPS: Over the last weekend of exam, my son wakes at 9 plus... read his comic book leisurely.. complain hungry and then I make bfast for him.. and he eat and read comics leisurely... and after finish eating at 11am, he went back to lie down on bed to read his comic book again. I think I really should let him fail his exams!
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