The Greatest Gift To Our Family

I am a buddhist.

And my christian friends always tell me how grateful they are for things.. and keep sharing about GRACE.

But I could never really understand it totally.

The other day, someone asked another person this question, "Did you remember when you were born, how did your parents feel? Did they feel happy? Why?"

"Why did they feel happy? Do you see... you are a gift.. a gift... to your family..."

That really struck me hard.

I never thought about things this way. Was I a gift to my family when I was born? If so, what sort of gift was I to my family?

I don't know. I am unsure.

Perhaps I don't want to know. Maybe I will go and ask my mum about this when I have the courage.

But this also got me thinking about the birth of Ace. And finally thinking things through, I am VERY SURE now that Ace is the greatest gift to our WHOLE FAMILY!

I told mum about this and she says indeed.. for he is a gift to THREE GENERATIONS WORTH OF PEOPLE...

And with that realization, I suddenly appreciate Ace Chua a whole lot more even though I thought I already appreciate him and love him alot. Suddenly, the sense of gratitude I feel towards my baby overwhelms me and makes me want to cry. I think this is what Grace really means....

Ace's gift to our family is pure JOY.

Firstly, Ace was concieved when i was in a joyful and blissful state- during my honeymoon.

Then shortly after that, I had a short period where I was depressed and upset... I retreated into my shell and wanted to just shut the whole world out. I wanted to give up and I wanted to just leave.

But the moment I found out that Ace was inside me, there was immense joy in me. From that very day that I found out that I was pregnant, I had always been super happy! I think you would never see a more gungho and happier pregnant mummy than me! ;)

And when he was born, the joy he brought to my life is just immense.... So immense that I think for a moment, all other things seemed unimportant and even the most daunting tasks seemed possible to me. If I was ever sad, I immediately could drew strength and move on and get over it by just hugging him.

His connection with me also brought me lots of joy. Thinking back now, I felt almost as if I was trying to relive my childhood and hold on to the good parts through the things that I was doing for Ace and with Ace. When I hugged Ace, it also felt as if I was hugging Daddy, Waipo, Waigong, Ah Yee... and that they were hugging me back.

Ace taught me what is unconditional love and what it is like to be joyful at even the smallest thing for this baby has great capacity for joy. Ace is almost never upset. He is always smiling and always managed find ways to keep his spirit up. He is such a happy baby you rarely see him upset other than when he is hungry or tired.

My dad is someone who doesnt express himself much. He always looked very sad. In fact, I think ever since the accumulation of many things that happened, my dad looked sad all day long. However, with Ace, he has learnt to express himself... he speaks to Ace different from the way he talks to us and makes me wonder if he used to talk to me like that as well. And the most important thing is that whenever his face turns to face Ace, it is always WITH A SMILE.

For mum, Ace is her pride and joy. She is happy that she is able to influence Ace in ways she couldnt with me and sis. She has made Ace a more devoted buddhist than either me or my sis... and every little thing he does to show love to her just makes her happier and love him more. I am totally ashamed that my son does better than me in showing my mother love.

Zhen Popo is a woman of very few words. Though she dared not carry Ace when Ace was younger.. but she ALWAYS makes time to play with Ace and never forgets his night snack. Even when Ace stepped all over her face during the night when he climbed onto her bed, not only did she not once complained but she felt happy that she was part of his sleeping process...

I dun see Zhen Popo often as she worked outside.. but I can imagine how it must feel after a hard day's work and a long journey home from Bukit Timah to Bedok on a long one and a half hour journey via a bus. Whenever she reaches home, Ace would run excitedly to the door, smile at her, and tug at her leg when she walks into the home. I can imagine the joy she must feel to know that there is someone waiting for her at home.. and someone who finds her important... especially when she felt abandoned when she was very young because Zhen Waigong had left her for another woman.

Laoma almost lost her will to live and a sense of purpoes for life when Laogong died. She barely hanged on and now is forgetful about most things. But if there is one thing she doesnt forget and that she is happy about is her task to FEED ACE. She almost takes it as her personal responsiblity that Ace has to be fed by her and this is like her new life mission.

The comfort, joy and love she feels must be immense for even though laoma is suffering from some dementia, one of the few things she never forgets and would repeat N times to anyone who will listen to her are:
- Ace likes me to feed him you know...
- Ace can recognise me
- Ace likes me to carry him (and this 1.4m tiny 90 yr old will proceed to pick up the 13kg little boy to show you that)
- Ace is a very clever boy

I dun think it is an accident that she only remembers these few things.

Ah Yee used to dislike commitment and think children are just a noisy bunch. Even though it seemed as POV taught Ah Yee how not to fear commitment and walk closer to the ideal life that she wanted, I would say the process of learning how to give unconditional love started for her with the birth of Ace.

For some unknown reason, why other children are just babies to her.. Ace was special... Ace's smile and Ace calling her Ah yee made her melt... and made her feel even happier than if she had struck 4D!

For Daddy, I think Ace also gave him the childhood he quite missed. Ace gave him an insight to how his parents must feel about him, towards him... Ace gave him a chance to truly appreciate his parent' love and as all parents WILL tell you.... No matter how tired you are after a hard days' work, seeing your child and the joy they bring you will make you feel that it is ALL WORTH IT!

And Ace is like a lamp shining into a dark path for Ye ye and Nainai.. not that their lives are dark. But there is just an especially joyful atmosphere around since Ace is born. Even though my in laws are both joyful persons... but they just seem to really come alive when Ace is around. I guess to them, the warmth they long from Daddy (Daddy is someone who keeps his feelings to himself alot) comes from Ace and when they kiss and hug Ace and when he loves them back, they feel also that Daddy is the one doing it to them.

Hahaha... I dun think you want me to go on about how he brought joy to Ganma Evon, Karen, Seok Ling's lives... And even Richie Ah ye, Jez Ah Ma, Tashi and Oracle's lives...

With all this joy he has brought us, I think the best way to show gratitude is to live our lives with joy.

Because of Ace, there is suddenly a cause and motivation for all of us to want to change our lives for the better... so that Ace can have a better life. So that Ace can have a HAPPIER and more joyful life.

If all parents knew how to appreciate their children like that, I think the world would be at peace.

The other day, someone was telling us how his brother's son was the best behaved little boy in the world. And how his son was so naughty that he has decided then that he hated children and he would get so angry at his son that he would cane him till the little boy peed in his pants. If you know what I know about how children also need our appreication and love, it is little wonder that his son is now far far away in another country... attempting to get PR there and doesnt like to come back.... I mean, would you want to stay in SG with a dad like tat?

But I guess he was just not as lucky to know what I know. Just like George told me, "If you did not know then, it has passed.. now that you know, if you did not put it into action... then it is as good as not knowing..."

So what gift did you bring to your family when you were born?
What gift did your baby bring to your family when he/she was born?

I would love to hear you share too!

PS: My mentor George say that what you see in others is what you are capable of as well. After re-reading this article... I think MY greatest gift to the people around me is JOY as well! Wow! What a step forward to better appreciating myself and loving myself. Angel, you are a wonderful person. I will love you unconditionally!

PPS: I told mum and asked her wat gift did I give to the family... she said, "JOY" :) :)