Slap

Ace accidentally slapped someone today.

We went visiting... and while Ace was playing with Oracle Jie Jie, he accidentally 'slapped' her.

Oracle then pursed her lips and walked away.

I told Ace that it is not right to hit someone and slap them and asked him to apologize to Oracle.

He looked very frightened, very afraid and kept moving backwards as I tried to pull him forward to say sorry.

I then carried him and brought him one side to quietly told him, "Ace, it is not right to slap people. But mummy know you did not mean to do it. Oracle Jie Jie also knows you did not mean to do it. But slapping people is not right and since you are a good boy and a brave boy, you will apologize to her right? Oracle Jie Jie is very sad because it is painful and when people slap you, you feel that they dun like you and that hurts."

And then I brought him to Oracle and said, "Ok Ace. Say sorry to Oracle Jie Jie. Can you sayang Jie Jie and say you are sorry?"

He slowly put out his hand and and stroked Oracle on the arm.

I then asked Oracle, "Jie jie, di di is saying sorry to you. Do you accept it?"

She nodded her head. Rebecca who was sitting beside Oracle told her... "You have to look at didi when you reply so that didi knows you have forgiven him..."

She turned and looked at him, nodded her head and without any prompting, reached out to pat pat Ace on the arm as well.

Half a minute later, they are best of friends and hugging each other! Hahaha.. aren't children wonderful creatures!

Anyway, I repeated to Ace again that there is nothing wrong with admiting one's mistake. Just say sorry and it is that easy... just say sorry and move on! ;)

Anyway, much later, while I was carrying him, he pulled my hair and started hitting me. If I did not know better, I would just say, "Stop pulling my hair!" and maybe give him a slap on the hand.

But POST-POV and more sensitive, I think Ace is angry at something and so I brought him one side, held on to his hand and asked him, "Ace, are you angry at something? Are you angry at mummy? Tell mummy what you want... don't have to pull mummy's hair or hit mummy ok?"

Turned out that he wanted me to just know that he was frustrated. After I asked him that, he stopped and became his happy self.

But later, when he started again, I observed closer and realized that he wanted to have more freedom to move around the house and was upset because I was carrying him too much and he felt stifled with no freedom.. so I let him roam around more and just forced myself to trust that he will behave himself (cos we were at someone else's house and I was really afraid he may mess things up or spoil other people's things...)

Ace was in a good mood for the rest of the day. Is it because he felt that I understood him? I certainly hoped so...

Anyway, he was in excellent behaviour and was happy to keep himself entertained without making a nuisance of himself. I am very happy too ;) I no longer fear visiting with Ace and most importantly, I learnt to trust myself and trust Ace more.