Sometimes I Little Bit Wish You Would Die

Had a chat with Ace the other day and talking about the topic of death.

And out of nowhere, Ace told me that he wished I wouldnt die...

"Actually, sometimes I wish a little bit you would though.. because if you died, then there will be no one to nag me! And I will be free...." He said.

"So should I die?" I asked him jokingly..

"No lah... because I love to hug you also.. if you die I cannot hug you.. so better that you don't die..." he said...

"Even though sometimes I really wish you would... especially when you nag at me..."

I didn't know he hated my nagging so much.. wahahah:)

Two days later, we went to watch the movies THE CROODS. It is a movie about a prehistoric cavemen family with an over protective father and how embracing new ideas and thoughts and trusting his children, they all got to a better place than before. When we finished the movie, Ace asked me as I was walking out of the theatre what i learnt from the movie...

"What did you learn?" I asked him. "I asked you first lor." he replied.

I said to him that I learnt that with love and your family, anything is possible (me and max were tearing at the last part where the father decided to help the family at his own expense and were so happy when the family got together again...)

"Noooooooo.. the moral of the story here is DON'T NAG AT YOUR CHILDREN!" Said Ace with a cheeky smile...

Then leh, a few days later, something happened and Ace witnessed Max shouting in public over the phone at someone who annoyed him. Even I have never seen Max so agitated and upset before. And that being said, the other party was sort of asking for it.

After Max hang up, Ace asked me why is daddy screaming so loud for so long... I explained to him that people have what we call "HOT BUTTONS" and everyone has got different buttons tat are hot. If you press their hot button too many times, they will flare up... and this uncle over the phone just happened to press on Daddy's hot buttons way too many times...

And then Ace started to ask me to guess who in the family is number one annoying as in always pressing on his hot button...

The answer to my surprise is ME! (Ah Yee follows a close second! wahahahaha...)

"You always nag at me and press on my hot buttons.. always make me so angry with all your nagging..."

I told ace the day i stop nagging is the day he should be worried lor.. I nag because I care mah... if i dun care, i then cannot be bothered to nag at him..

Then I asked him.. who in the world he thinks loves him most... Again, number one is me and daddy... and so I proved my point...

But hor, I keep thinking about this nagging thing also.. because I hated it when my mum nagged at me. So I proposed to Ace that I will stop nagging him for a week. Anything I ask him to do. I say once and dun nag.. if he dun do, I dun care.. he can do watever he likes.. but it also means tat things like waking in the morning, I will only say once.. he dun wake and late for school.. it is his problem...

In my mind I was also wondering if there was any way I can express my nagging in a different way. Like say nicely or wat... so it doesnt sound like nagging...

I FAILED MISERABLY! wahahahaha

I realized that hor I tend to Nag whenever Ace does not do things my way or the things I want him to do. I say "Please do x." He no action. "Please do x." still no action. my fire will come up lor.. "Ace, can you do X or not?"

"HUh?" Blur king suddenly realized a command has been given. BUT STILL NO ACTION...

THen hor.. I will start to nag, and scold.. softly.. BUT STILL NO ACTION.. and then LOUDLY.. and then, finally got action!

And because this happens so many times, it just re-enforces this idea tat i need to nag at my son to wake up his idea!

But I also came to this realization that it takes two hands to clap. While I was bz doing my very best not to nag, Mr CHua Junior wasnt really doing much to reduce my nagging.. he still refused to take action when I say nicely... a few times...

So I told him also lah. it takes two hands to clap. I try to say nicely.. and dun nag. But if he got hear me but never listen... he is pressing on MY hot button... and after a few times, I cannot tahan I sure have to nag right?

For example, if he kicks my leg.. do I not ask him to stop? If he still kick.. do I keep quiet still or nag at him to stop... Or i continue to let him kick because we agree no nagging...  Cannot be tat I am an idiot and let him kick me right?

Anyway, I remembered one of my teacher's lesson about trust.. perhaps also I should trust Ace that he will find his own way and stop wanting him to always follow my way just because I think it is better for him...

I commit to trust Ace and that he will find his own, better way than the one I have in mind. I will do my best to remind myself to GUIDE but not be NAGGY:) hahaha:) May gohonzon give me strength and wisdom to do that!

PS: Right after I finished blogging about this, I had a chance to look through Ace's old posts.. and I realize that I was alot more patient with him when he was younger.. I also sort of had a revision of all the things my teachers taught me.. like how parents who push their children are just passing on their lack of confidence and how TRUST is the easiest solution out of most issues about our children:) So I committed to practice all these again...

And dunno how or why Ace knew... his attitude just changed totally even though I did not say or do anything to him.. these two days.. he has been very zi dong.. and even if he is not, I dun need to nag.. cos he will wake up his idea quickly...  plus he keep coming to me and kissing and hugging me.. even more than usual:)

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