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| The Lee Kwan Yew I remember most in my mind... |
After discussing with Max.. We decided we will go to the Parliament House to say our goodbyes to this man who have given so much to our country.. I asked Ace if he wanted to go and being very pragmatic... My son told me if he has to queue a few hours just to walk past the casket, he will rather not go.
So we made plans to go on a Thursday early morning after Ace slept so we could be back in time in the morning to help Ace prepare for school.
At 12 midnight, when we checked, the queue was expected to be 8 hours long. That will mean that we will not make it back in time. So we thought we will hit the haysack and try to wake at 2am and go and see if the queue will shorten.. at 2am, queue was still 8 hrs long.. finally my friend and sis jio me to go together early morning BUT alas, queue was 8 hrs long, that meant I couldnt be home in time when Ace comes home, so I did not go.
I comforted myself that at least I already paid tribute at the community tribute event in bedok lah.
But leh, on Friday morning when I asked Ace, he said he wanted to go to Parliament House.
So because of Ace的一句话, we decided, we shall all go together and pay respect on Friday evening, regardless of queue length. Max was still very afraid Ace was just saying for the sake of saying.. we asked if he is sure... he said he is very sure...
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| Saw this car with huge decal while we were driving there... |
So we went to have dinner together, parked our car somewhere and walked over City Hall when the queue started...
Singaporeans Galore
There were Singaporeans everywhere at City Hall. Around me were some youngsters who had arranged to go pay their respects together. Some young Singaporeans who came with their friends after work... some older couples who were my parent's age and quite a few family like ours with children. It was truly what we will say in Singlish.. "People mountain people sea" (which is a literal translation of of the chinese idiom which means there are so many people they seem to merge into a background of mountain and seas)
Somewhere near the MRT, there was someone holding a sign that said 8 hrs... but that did not stop anyone from moving forward to join the queue.. nor did it make anyone u turn... everyone just trudged on with firm and quiet determination to send Mr Lee off one last time in this last chance where he is laying in State.
The route to see Mr Lee again is not a straight footpath all the way. It was meandering here and there and there was a portion where we even had to go through an underground tunnel... perhaps not unlike Mr Lee's path to nation building...
The Padang
After about half an hour and walking here and there, we finally arrived at the Padang. The crowd there was HUGE. There were so many people sitting around... and when we arrived there were some friendly SAF soldiers politely asking, "Do you want some water?" "Please take some biscuits.." with a smile. Since they looked so young, I think they must be serving NS. And I can imagine that they must have been working hard throughout the last few days but they did not look like they were forced to be in service there. Instead, it looked like they were happy to be of help and be in service.
As we moved forward and came to a designated plot for us to rest, another young soldier came and told everyone to please move back and find a spot to rest... "Because for the next 4 hours, you will be seated here and I am sure you do not want to be uncomfortable..." he said.
Another family beside me with teenage children had a very perceptive and friendly aunty, she took something out from her bag.. "It's ok, come, aunty share with you my mat and you can sit on it so your pants will not be dirty.."
She opened up the mat and Ace was finally happy to sit down.
Right beside us was a little boy who looked no older than 15. He was alone. "Are you here alone?" The friendly aunty asked him kindly. "Yeah, my friends are furthur up in the queue... they were already here two hours ago.. "
He replied. "Why don't you join them? There is only one of you... should be ok... " She said..
"No lah, I dun think people will appreciate me jumping queue... It is not right..." he said. I was impressed and cannot help but think this sort of integrity is part of LKY's legacy...
Beside me was a father and daughter team. The teenage daughter brought along her ipad to keep herself entertained. She chatted with her dad for a while about school and then took out her ipad to watch videos.
Since we were very free and since I know many will be coming to join the queue... I decided to update more information on FB...
Queue is estimated 8 hrs. Start at city hall mrt.. U will be directed where to go. Bring fan... Water n biscuits they provide. Mat also if u dun wanna sit on grass... It's not possible to cut queue so if u meeting fren.. Meet at city hall mrt. If not.. Brave the 8 hrs urself... :)
There was really nothing much to do there but wait. I did not want to play games lest I do not have enough phone battery... I checked facebook again and again.. But the 3G network was not really stable and FB is not always available.
As I sat there and stared at the night sky, I am suddenly reminded of the time we went to the desert to see the meteorite showers... The sky was also very dark, there was mindless banter all around. But back in Dubai, we were filled with excitement. The feeling while sitting here and thinking of Lee Kwan Yew was very different. There was like some sort of longing and some sadness...
By 10.30pm, some hour and a half after we arrived, I decided that Ace should sleep. He had a long day after all. He woke at 6 plus in the morning, went to school till 2pm and did floorball (they had a new coach who is so demanding Ace said you will go half blind after doing all the exercises he asked you to..) till 3.45pm or so. I told him to sleep and he obediently shut off his phone and passed to me.
Now we have a problem. Just how and where can Ace sleep.
Thank goodness we were seated at the corner of a goal post... so I sat down, leaned against the goal post and let Ace lie down on my chest, using my leg to support him while I put my arms around him. He was have been really tired cos the moment he closed his eyes, he was KOed.
By then, Max was still standing and his back was starting to ache.. but he says if he can stand by the bar stool for 6 hours, he can stand here for a few hours.
By now, I was feeling pain in my bum as I had been seated in one position for far too long. I tried wriggling my legs a little. The girl and the teenage boy decided to sleep when they saw Ace sleeping and they too tried to find a comfortable position to lie down.
We tried to make space for each other and some people took turns to stand up so that they can take turns to sit. I tried to push the netting back so the girl beside me can pull her legs straight to sleep. She looked at me with a smile and said thanks..
When the netting from the goal post hit my head, the friendly aunty helped me tie it up higher so that it will not hit me...
The Queue Is Closed
Somewhere around 11pm, we received news from our friends that the queue to the padang has officially been closed. "You are so lucky!" a friend exclaimed as she says many have arrived to City Hall MRT and were asked to go home...
My heart sank when I heard that.. for that meant there are way too many people and it meant we will likely be here for 8 hours or more. I am just really thankful that Ace will get to sleep for a while before we started moving..
We have already been here for 2 hours. But there was totally NO movement. The empty places beside us are now totally filled... In Max's words, there is no inch of grass to be seen on the padang because it is filled with people.
Despite the queue being closed, our friends who are at City Hall are constantly calling us and messaging us for updates. Alas, we were trapped in the holding area and of no help. Many have not lost hope that they will reopen the queue and still insisted on hanging around at City Hall.
We Are Singaporeans
It is now approaching 12 midnight, there is still no news of any movement. We are still seated there. I finally managed to let Ace rest his head on my bag and so I am now free to stand up and stretch a little. Ace is still sleeping soundly... Many many thanks to the aunty who shared her plastic mat with us.
In the past few hours, volunteers have walked through the crowds to pass us apples, cold drinks, mineral water, sandwhich, more biscuits, sweet potato and even offered wet tissue to wipe our faces!
I had thought that the later it will be, the less volunteers there will be but I was wrong! THere were actually more volunteers around the later it got.
A mother and daughter went around picking rubbish and every now and then some volunteers will come and pick up rubbish from us.
We were chatting about this and my sister said, "The past week has changed my outlook on singaporeans completely.. I always tot we are abunch of bo chup and self centered ppleif disaster were to befall on singapore, like tsunami or something, we wont be like japan, so united and help those in need.. but i was wrong... we are!!"
At this point, some people gathered around a mother who was pumping milk with the use of a breast pump to form a human shield. She must have known that she would have to wait for many hours in the queue.. still she came.. together with her breast pump. I really salute her! And she is an example of how determined Singaporeans are to pay their last respects... I hope her milk will not turn bad and that we will be done early
Encouragement From Our Ministers
Somewhere near 1am, we heard some cheers coming from afar, I thought the queue had started moving. Alas, we realized that it was the minister doing his rounds. Mr Teo Chee Hean walked to each section and said something. I dunno what.. too far away from him but i gathered it will be somewhere along the lines of thank you very much for coming and keep it up...
Elsewhere from another corner, I heard more hoo ha... I found out the next day in the news that it was because the PM also walked around to thank the people who were queueing..
Why Are We Waiting?
After that, it was back to a boring wait and I was back to people watching. The wait was agonizingly long, made worse by the fact that I was really tired and so, not in the mood for chatter. I wondered if I was lucky to make it into the queue or if my friends were luckier to have been rejected so they had a choice to go home, sleep and rest and come again the next day.
If Ace were awake, he will likely ask his favorite questions.. "Why are we waiting?" or "Are we there yet?" at a rate of 100000 times a minute and drive me crazy:) wahahaha.. Thank goodness he is sound asleep. I really marvel at how he can sleep so soundly on the hard floor with no fan!:)
A girl who came with the friendly aunty (i think her niece) said she had an event to attend at 9am the next day and hoped she had enough time to go home and change. In fact, it was going to be her birthday the next day...
There was no news, no sound and no color.. Everyone is starting to feel very sian because we were told we have to be here for 4 hours and that 4 hours is fast coming to an end and no one seemed to be moving still. Perhaps we were not the only ones feeling impatient...
One uncle in a sector next to me was giving this speech to this group of ginna seated around him. He stood up and he tried to explain away all the waiting. He explained that we have to wait around because we have to first wait for the ministers to walk around the padang and give speeches.. and then they will go in and pay respect and so we have to wait for them for another hour.. so in two hours, we will get to see Mr LKY.
I cannot really tell if he is trying to appease the group or trying to add oil to fire lor. Come on lah, Uncle, we are queueing because there are thousands of people who came before us lor... dun use this sort of illogical reasoning to make people hate our ministers leh... But Max say I shouldnt be so upset.
But well, it is the time of the month and I am super grumpy and super tired during this period.. can? :P whahaha
We Are Moving!
Sometime around 2.30 am, there was a loud cheer! Everyone stood up and started moving forward.
My friends told me tat once you leave the padang, the rest of the journey will just take like one and a half hours. I was rather hopeful.. but there were people who told me that some of the crowd were dispersed to the floating platform too. I thought perhaps they were just using the floating platform as some sort of holding area... so after they cleared the people there, it will be our turn..
The crowd moved forward and stopped moved forward and stopped. At least we were moving... and after a 4 hour nap, Ace was at least energetic enough to walk normally.
Alas, after about 5 minutes, the movement came to a total standstill. No one moved. Everyone was packed very closely. The air was stale... the sky turned cloudy and then, it started to drizzle. I chanted in my heart for the rain to stop.. after all, there are so many old folks and children around us...
Umbrellas started to come up. And it got even more stuffy.... Someone shouted for everyone to put the umbrellas down... seems like the drizzle stopped.
But the crowds were STILL NOT MOVING...
It was getting more stuffy by the minute.
"Medic! Medic!" Someone called out. Someone had fainted. The people around raised their hands and pointed their palms at the person who fainted so that the medic know which direction to run into.
The stuffiness and tiredness that everyone felt was an accident waiting to happen. True enough, after a short while, someone called for Medic again...
At least 4 people went down...
As the medic arrived with their stretchers, the crowd automatically opened up a way to let them pass so they can get the patient somewhere safe asap.
"Please give way! Please give way!" The medic shouted loudly. But there was no need to do so... before him, a whole lane had been opened up. Singaporeans were determined to show their best behavior despite being tired...
Ace said he doesnt feel well. Max asked if he can hold on.. he said he can. Max said if he really does not feel well, he has to tell us so that we can bring him to the side and rest or go home. "I can continue... "Ace said resolutely... not wanting to give up.
But after a while, he said he felt a little like vomitting.
THe aunty next to us over heard him and said, "Oh, here you go.. I have extra fan here.. you take it.. you so short, must be extra stuffy for you... "
The fan was a life saver and the cool air from the fan help to keep us going. I was feeling slightly dizzy myself.
To be honest, the complain queen in me surfaced at that moment. I wondered who planned all this.. why did they not tell us what is happening. Waiting and not knowing wat is happening under those conditions was tough on both the body and the mind. At least if I knew what I was waiting for and how long I had to wait, it was bearable. I told Max maybe they should have volunteers who went around giving information like that.... something like cheerleaders:) haha.. We wondered if the event was organized by the army or by the state funeral committee...
I started chanting in my heart...
I chanted for it not to rain because there are so many waiting to see him and it is not their turn yet..
I chanted for the organizers have have great wisdom to know what to do next so everyone can get moving...
Someone passed out water... "We don't want water, we want air?" Someone else shouted.
Someone decided to take the lead, "Can we all take one step backwards, we all cannot breathe already..." And people moved backwards.. but it was still stuffy.
Finally, after a really long wait, the queue started moving forward. We turned around and thanked the lady who gave us the fan and returned the fan to her and trudged forward.. energized with the hope that we are now much nearer to our goal.. and with the hope that we will be able to see Mr Lee Kwan Yew in 2 hours time..
And so the queue left the padang and we came alongside the esplanade... however, instead of turning right, we were asked to turn left and move TOWARDS the esplanade... the queue was moving and stopping again.
Just before we crossed under the main roads along the esplanade, an army officer came up to us and said, "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, let me explain to you a little bit what is going to happen from here on... from here till the Parliament House, you have another 6 hours plus minus to go..."
My heart sank when he said that cos at the point when he said that, we had already been there for 6 hours!
He continued.. "It is a worse case scenerio lah.. but you will likely take less than tat as the queue seems to be moving faster now. From here, you have to walk to the floating platform... which will take about two hours... and then there, we have chairs for you to seat and things for you to eat and you can take a rest for another two hours.. and then you walk back again towards the Parliament House.. that will take another plus minus two hours..."
And so... we trudged along... tired, our hearts heavy at the thought of 6 hours more, our bodies weary... But we were determined not to give up. Halfway along our trudge to the floating platform, Ace started complaining... "My leg very pain..." and said that his feet and his ankles were both in pain...
"Ace, jia you! We reaching somewhere to rest soon.. remember, winners dun quit, quitters dun win... " And we encouraged him along.
While walking, we heard people speaking in unfamiliar languages.. I wondered the Thais, the PRCs also want to come and queue so many hours with us... I can understand Singaporeans queueing... but for them to do that too... oh well, perhaps they are new Singaporeans.. or perhaps they just really admire this man..
The SNAKE Queue
As we are about to approach the floating platform, a little girl waved to her friend who had been at the opposite lane that is walking back towards the Parliament House.. her friend said, "Oh my god... there is this horrible snake queue furthur up... it is terrible, I spent 1 hour in that queue!!!" and ran off....
I wondered what that horrible snake queue was and then, there it was.. it was a 6-7 row S queue tat was maybe few hundred meters in length each row... It was moving slowly...
As we walked in the queue.. Ace said he is really tired and his legs are in pain... Max offered to let Ace sit down on him when we stopped moving.. and with these short rest in between, Ace was able to persist on... Max says this will be Ace's first introduction to NS :) wahahaha..
At the queue, I actually saw a few people I knew:) We said HI and continued to move in the queue.. I was too tired to talk... My friends saw Ace and as they knew him as well, they asked him, "Are you still ok?" Ace was too tired to reply.. wahahaha..
I am by then in two minds. On one hand, I longed for a chair to sit down and rest.. on the other hand, I long to quickly continue and get this over and done with. I imagine in times where he felt too tired to carry on, Mr Lee will with his usual blend of discipline, keep the end in mind and push on... and that was what I did..
And finally we finished the snake queue and trned into the floating platform.... only to find.. NO CHAIRS.. no one resting! Just a row of people giving out water and biscuits. Strangely, I felt recharged.. only two hours more to Parliament House.. "Jia you, Peng Yuanru! If Mr Lee can dedicate himself to Singapore, you can dedicate yourself to going to pay your last respects no matter what!"
We noticed at this point that there is this mother of 4 kids. I noticed her earlier because when the volunteers who were standing along esplanade asking if we wanted water, she scolded her son for not responding to the volunteer... "People are here to volunteer to give water to you.. if they talk to you, you have to respond.. even if you do not want the water, you should say, "No, thank you." to them..."
By now, one of her four kids had fallen asleep, from the looks of it, the kid looks to be 7 or 8 years old. So she carried him on her back on top of carrying two bags across her slim, petite torso.
But I think the thought that we are much nearer and at least moving without stopping gave us renewed energy...
Finally, we could see the clock tower of Victoria Concert Hall. We were so near, yet so far.. cos I knew we were not going straight and had to meander around still... at this point, we noticed that there was a group of people giving out something.. they were giving out iced coffee to the crowd walking past.. how thoughtful...
At the same time, we saw an officer pulling out families with children. Max said Ace should stand by the side so he can see him.. and that I should point out to the officer, the mother with 4 kids too in case he didn't see her.
But he did see her!
He asked her to come out and since we had kids, we just followed! He asked us to stand around as he gathered more children before bringing us over. We were going straight to get our bags checked!
After we got our bags checked, we were asked to walk into the Parliament House.... As I walked into the building, I felt this presence... perhaps it is his presence.. or perhaps just the presence of some angles protecting him... I couldnt help but started to tear..
(Picture from the internet)
As I approached his coffin, I couldn't hold back my tears.. all the waiting, all the struggle.. is just for this moment..
There was a guard that kept asking us to keep moving and as I walked.. I continued to tear.. all the things I prepared that I would say to him, I forgot.. I just remembered to give him a deep deep bow to thank him...
And there.. the deed is done.
9 hours of waiting.. ended with a 2 second bow...
Before we knew it, we were on our way home.. it was almost 6am in the morning... Max had to be back at work at 7am and when we reached home, I was so tired I fell asleep while waiting for my turn to take a bath.
Max said all the waiting was a killer... so he had no emotions left when he finally saw the casket.
I asked Ace later if he regretted all the queuing and leg pain and everything to be there to see Mr Lee one last time.
"No lah, he did so many things for us for so many years. It is only right that we go and say goodbye.." said Ace without a tinge of regret.
"So what did you say to him?" I asked Ace.
"I just told him Thank you very very much..." replied Ace.
We took a short rest and then woke to attend our Lions Club monthly hot meal event where we served food to the elderly living in one room flats i Meiling Street. During the event, we observed a minute of silence for Mr Lee and I couldnt help but tear again. Even though these are the less priviledged portion of society, they too knew how to show gratitude and told me they were going to Tanjong Pagar to pay tribute later.. some also queued for a few hours previously to pay tribute...
That day, lunch was served with renewed mission to contribute to Singapore.
After that, Ace started to become more interested in what Mr Lee did and asked me more about him.
That night, the two of us lay on bed and looked through facebook together. We watched Ah Boys paid a tribut to THE MAN and we also watched MediaCorp's Audio Post group's tribute...
The tribute is like a summary of what happened in the past few days..
After I watched it.. I couldn't help but tear because tomorrow, Ah Gong's funeral will end and Ah Gong will be no more...
"We are never going to see him again..." I sobbed... Instinctively, Ace put his arms around me to comfort me...
OK, no more tears, I told myself. Tomorrow, I must wave to ah gong with a happy smile and send him away happily. After all, he can finally rest in peace and be with the woman he loves so much, we should be happy for him.
I am taking effort to pen this down because I hope one day, when Ace is older and a grandfather, he can also have a chance to share with our future generation, this part of his life and perhaps inspire them to read and find out more about singapore's history and how it is linked with this great man called Lee Kuan Yew....
Anyway, I think I will never look at the skyline of Singapore the same way again.. everytime I see the buildings in City Hall, I will always think of him...
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