I don't know what his teacher in his child care centre told him but some time after they started to learn about National Day and started preparing for their national day performance in school, Ace started going on and on about what a great man Lee Kwan Yew is and how this Mr Lee Kwan Yew is a hero because he made Singapore such a wonderful place filled with wonderful people.
He would go on and on and on about him and how his teacher said what great men this Mr Lee Kwan Yew and his son, Lee Hsien Loong were.
However, on the morning of 23 March 2015, almost a good 6, 7 years later, when I told him that Mr Lee has passed on, he gave me a shrug and said, "Oh... How old is he?"
As we were in a rush to get to school on time, I was unable to digest his reaction. I wondered why my son is totally indifferent to the death of this great man who helped build this nation. Perhaps he has forgotten, or perhaps, he doesnt really know that all he has and enjoy now might not have been possible without this one man.
I was tearing inside and bleeding in my heart, when news of his death came, grief literally rushed in and it was as if someone in my family dear to me had passed away. I had never met this man. My oldest memory related to him was some ditty we sang in school that went like this:
"Tee tee tee, whose shoe is very dirty...
Please go home and wash it out...
S, T, O, P, stop, bus stop...
Who are you?
I am Mr Lee Kwan Yew"
Yet I was devastated about his death and couldnt help but tear. It was as if someone very close to me in my family died....
As we watched the PM's speech together this morning, me and Max teared silently. I really hoped that he would have been able to celebrate our 50th birthday with us but that was not to be.
During one of the interviews with Professor Tommy Koh, he mentioned that Mr Lee had always been a very considerate person and treated them with kindness and respect. When I thought back, he is, even to his death, very considerate in his fashion.
He passed on... only after the major fund raising program that SPD was doing so it will not interfere with their fund raising... he passed on not during the NDP SG50 celebrations because that would have made it a celebration no more but a mourning.. he even gave us enough time to recover from to grief to celebrate with him in our hearts in august... he passed on late in the night and gave all the respective departments time to plan and send out the news.. he let Singaporeans have a proper nights sleep... He was a very considerate person indeed.
Granted, most of us do not agree with everything he did but almost everyone I knew really respected his conviction and his dedication to building a successful Singapore. All the little ancedotes that people around him shared and the glimpse into his life through pictures only made me certain that this was one man who only has one thing on his mind- how to make Singapore successful. His son, Hsien Loong, mentioned that his dad felt that Singaporeans were his responsibility and that was why he worked so hard as Singapore's number one "public servant".
Yes, he is a stern and strict "father" but nevertheless, loving father... He always tried to control what we did... whether we got an education, whether we got married, whether we had children.. whether we should be allowed to chew gum... If anyone seemed to be a threat to the peace, harmony to this "family" he built, he will use all means to wipe them out, sometimes sending them away to far away places and never allowing them to return, even if it meant others will say he is mean or nasty.
But like all growing children who mature into teenage and eventually adulthood, we seek independence and start to have lots of judgements about how he showed his love for us. We complained that he was a tyrant, we complained that he never listened to us, we complained about his need to seemingly exert control over us. But we knew deep in our hearts he did it... as all parents do... for our own good.
Looking back, I think Mr Lee did what he think was best to the best of his ability at the given time when he made many decisions. Not all of the were great decisions but they were made in bid to make Singapore more successful. Without any model to follow, he just did what he thought was best. Given that Singapore was in a precarious position, any wrong move would mean we will go down and out. He had to be very careful so that he could protect us. Just like how we always do what we think is best for our children. As Singaporeans mature and as the policies of long ago past become somewhat out dated, Singaporeans are starting to want more say in what sort of Singapore they want to see in the future and requesting for changes. But our common desire to see a successful, harmonious Singapore where people enjoy happiness, prosperity and progress together will still remain.
Later in the day when we had time to talk, I shared with Ace that both me and Max teared when we heard about this news. Ace was surprised and really intrigued. So I tried to put it into perspective for him.
"Back in the old days, life was very tough. The older generation had to struggle for life and they saw how the leadership of this great man turned the country from a run down place where people did not have proper places to stay in... into this prosperous country now which gave most people a roof over their heads, fantastic world class transport and education for all regardless of race or gender. One of such person is Godma A's mum who said she is deeply saddened.. for without Mr and Mrs Lee Kwan Yew, she would not have become a seamstress and would not have been able to make ends meet and feed her two children... she would never be able to imagine travelling all over the world."
We were having dinner and watching TV at the same time and Ace asked me what it was about. I explained to Ace that the clip we were watching was a part in history where LKY and his group had to fight with another group who were pro-communist. Because if the pro-communist group became stronger and won, we will be living in a very different Singapore.
"Do you know what is communism?" Max asked Ace.
I tried to explain it in a way I think Ace might understand and explain that communism is about allowing the government to own everything and decide how much everyone gets. The government decides if you go to school, decides how much you are paid (not whether what you do is valuable to the market), the government decides what sort of house you might live in and what sort of job you should have.
In short, it will be a very different life.
I also explained to Ace that the film that we saw called To Singapore With Love featured some of these people whom LKY thought were pro communist or will help those people become stronger and that is probably why he sent them away forcefully.
Was that a nice thing to do? Maybe not.
But it was wat Mr Lee felt at that time, with what he knew and what he could do, the best thing he could do. While I do think those people really love Singapore but Mr Lee, did what he did too, out of his love for Singapore. Who loved Singapore more? I can only say both sides gave up their lives for Singapore in different ways.
Ace told me that he doesn't really feel for LKY's death much because he doesnt really know him. I hope that Ace will understand in time.. that Mr Lee and his vision for Singapore + the policies he put into place to achieve the success he saw in his mind are the reason why...
- Ace gets a good education
- Ace can learn ENGLISH AND CHINESE and has a chance to become effectively billingual
- Ace is welcomed very much when we went and live in Dubai
- Everyone tells us what a wonderful place Singapore is
- We seem to gather respect when we tell people in Dubai that we are from Singapore
- We live in relative peace and harmony despite being multi racial in Singapore
- We enjoy a clean and green city
- Why we have this relatively comfortable life we have now
- We live in an environment where one is not penalized for being just, upright and honest.
This morning, on our way to school, I shared with Ace the little snippets of history I learnt again while watching all the programs about LKY on tv. I thought it was a very apt warm up as Ace told me they will be having special assembly today and will be given a talk about LKY and his contributions to Singapore. Ace told me that they also had a minute of silence and during that minute, he too, had felt our grief.
"Our principal gave us a 10 minute talk about Mr Lee Kwan Yew but some of my classmates were so disrespectful. They were laughing and making jokes throughout... I was really upset and angry at them..." said Ace.
Now, he has requested to go with me to the Parliament House to say goodbye to LKY one last time. "I want to see him and know him." Ace said.
My mother says that while she feels as if someone close and dear to her.. almost like someone in her family has passed away, she thinks we shouldnt be sad since LKY has led a full life and has done so much, surely he has passed on in peace with a smile on his lips.
阿公，对于你的离开，虽然我非常难过，但是我会节哀。 一路好走。别担心，我们会继续为新加坡奋斗，让这个岛国上的人民幸福，快乐，让这个国家继续繁荣，进步。谢谢你为我们做的一切，我爱你。我会好好教育我的孩子，让他们也做对新加坡有贡献的人。你会永在怀念中....
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