Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The Only Thing I Could Do Was Cry And Wave

 Picture from Eva Comics

Shall we? Should we?

The memory of the lethargy that came with a 9 hour journey to see him one last time was fresh in our mind. We wondered if we should go to town and send him off.

In the end, we decided we should. It feels right to do so somehow and I was determined to stop crying and send him off with a bright smile.

Bright and early on Sunday morning, we woke and the first thing to decide was.. what do we wear?:P hahaha..

I told Max I have decided to wear white because it is a 喜丧and I wanted to send LKY off with a smile. Max, who was initially quite determined to wear black to support tat wear black movement decided last minute that he will wear white with me too.

Alas, I did not have any white plain tshirt and so settled for my off white cream colored one.

"If Ace doenst have a white t shirt, we can buy when we go to Suntec later.." Max said.

I digged through Ace's drawer filled with tshirts.. most of them had large, colorful prints on them. I then came across his I LOVE SG shirt and decided... this will be it. It has WHITE, BLACK and RED with a heart and the message is apt. So Ace wore his I LOVE SG shirt.


We made our way to Suntec to have breakfast with Uncle Vincent as we arranged to meet him there. After we parked our car and started walking towards mac donalds, I noticed that most of the people hanging around and having breakfast are in mourning colors of black or white. Many were families with children.



While we were eating, it started to rain... I prayed in my heart that the rain will stop.... We checked our mobile phones for updates from friends and family who are volunteering to give our flags today...

My sister messaged me and asked if I wanted to go to her house afterward. "We can watch the funeral procession and cry together lah.." she added. I said OK and asked if she could prepare our lunch and she agreed.

At around 11am, we decided that we had better made our move... our plan was to get to the bridge that spans along esplanade....

While walking towards the exit of Suntec, we passed by many shops. I noticed that most of the shop assistants were wearing mourning colours too. Even GIANT had their cashiers wearing BLACK instead of their usual yelow.

Even the mannequins in Giordano were dressed up in white and black..

When we arrived at the exit, it was raining rather heavily. But we decided to make or way to the esplanade via all the underground links...   Everyone around us was dressed in black or white.. it seemed a little strange to see the crowd in town move about with  quiet sense of purpose and all dressed in sombre colours...

When we got to the esplanade, it was still raining rather heavily.. we contemplated if we should take an mrt and wait along Shenton Way. Just as we were deciding, the rain became smaller and came almost to a stop... so we decided to walk to the bridge area..
 
When we walked over, someone told us that the casket will be passing by the opposite lane.. and so, we decided to walk over to the opposite lane.. There were so many people there and ... 大家扶老携幼。 Some brought their parents... some brought their young children...

By the time we were across the road, the rain came to a miraculous stop!

We picked a spot that will allow us to see both the casket and turn around to see not just Singapore River but also a little of what is going on at the Padang area..



The family standing in the first row had been here in since 9am in the morning and had already braved one round of rain... that is why they are all wet...

As we stood there, the sky started to get dark again... Then it started to drizzle...

We wondered if the rain will stop in time and I started chanting in my heart for the rain to stop...

Max said that his friend from the Navy who was involved in the Navy Sailpast sent him a photo indicating that the sea state out at sea is not very good...





But we were still hopeful the rain will stop...

The rain got bigger. As we were waiting, Ace got a little bored and started playing with the rain... and then he started chanting, "Rain! Rain! Rain!"



I chided him lightly and said.. "Aiyoh, dun wish for rain lah. so many old folks and children here... and if it rains, it will be difficult for all the people who are going to walk along him in the procession too... we should pray for the rain to stop..."

Alas, seems like Ace's prediction was going to come true.. as we approached 12.30pm, the rain started to get heavier and heavier, we started to get colder and colder. Our shirts got wet, our pants got wet, even the pockets of my backpack was accumulating water...

At this point, we suddenly noticed some fog near the buildings...  That is a rare sight here in Singapore.. thought it is common in Dubai when the seasons change... Max says this is a sign that it is for sure going to rain heavily soon...



As the rain got bigger, more people joined us on the bridge, everyone moved to make way for more people.... "Come, move in move in.. let the uncle come in.." Another uncle told his children.. in bid to make more space for this uncle in his 60s who is here in the pouring rain with his son..

Another family brought along a very young kid maybe about a few years old.. "Do you want an umbrella for your kid? We have extra here.." The kind uncle who asked his children to move in asked...

Turned out they already have an umbrella.. but the mother of the kid said they brought their flag and so they made way for her to move to the front so she could tie up her flag in front...

Another uncle took out some Singapore flags he recieved while he made his way here and was giving them out to other people.. "Do you want?" he asked repeatedly...

We huddled together, held our umbrellas high and try to shield each other from the pouring rain... It did not matter if we were not friends. We were Singaporeans....


Much as I will like to take photo of the crowd, it got so wet it was difficult to take out my phone after this..



Ace said he was very cold.. so I hugged him closer...

While I prayed for the rain to stop, I couldnt help but notice that the rain seemed to be in accordance to the grief I was feeling in my heart. When a large wave of sadness overcome me, the rain will get heavier... as I digested that and moved on to a calmer state, the rain will get smaller... so the rain was heavier, smaller, heavier.. and then it just started POURING...

We are somewhere out there...

We wondered if the procession was going to continue in this torrential rain... we wondered if they will do the Missing Man Formation fly past...

A group of students came on the bridged and were lined at both sides of the road.. "It must mean it is going to go ahead if they are placing these students here.." Max said..

I really pity the students as the rain was super heavy by now... and all they had was this flimsy plastic poncho.. But no one is complaining.. they are dutifully stood by the places. I am sure they must have volunteered to be here and were determined to carry out their task at hand no matter what happened..


Around 12.25, our friend, Vincent took out his phone and logged on to CNA so that we could catch the LIVE coverage...  He was the only source of info as most people around us were unable to connect to CNA... he turned his phone around and we all turned around to watch his phone..

I started tearing at the sight of the casket on the screen... It seems, the procession is going to go on for sure...

"They started.." I tried to share the info with the people around me who could not see the small screen of the Samsung phone..

"The procession is starting and they only provided an umbrella for his picture.. Lee Hsien Loong and family are going to follow the casket in the rain... "



I started tearing again as they walked out of Parliament House  the pouring rain, totally drenched... It seemed the heavens was also crying along with us...

"They are moving towards the Padang now and the crowd is shouting Lee Kwan Yew, Lee Kwan Yew..." I continued my updates for the ladies in front of me..


Then at this moment, we heard the drone of airplanes flying past... They flew! I couldnt see the planes clearly because of the thick clouds.. But I saw them fly bast...  I started crying at how these brave men still flew despite the dangers and the fog. In my heart.. I was just going.. "They flew! They flew!" Tears cannot stop pouring out...


As LKY's casket moved past the Padang, the cannons started going off....

Max suddenly looked up and me and told me, "He is coming..." Ah Gong lai liao...

"He is coming.. he is coming.." everyone whispered to each other...

The kind uncle asked his family to keep their umbrellas.. "We are all wet anyway.. remove the umbrellas so that everyone can see... our whole section along the bridge followed suit..

Uncle turned around and saw Ace and asked if he wanted to come to the front.. he squeezed and made space for Ace so that he can see clearly...

"Remember, Yuanru, bright smile to see Ah Gong off.." I reminded myself.

But when his casket finally appeared... all I could do was wave... and CRY.... All the things I wanted to say just disappeared. I was lost for words and all I could do was cry... and then, I gave him one last salute.... I was just so sad to see him go...

Now, the task at hand was to try to get home as soon as possible to catch his funeral at NUS which was starting at 2pm. By the time we made our way to our car, it was already one plus. We tuned in to the radio and they were announcing who was arriving at the service..

Thanks to the internet, we managed to catch PM Lee's speech in the car via CNA website. We had to go home to bath and change...

I asked Ace in between how what he did as the casket drove past him. He said, "I said to Mr Lee in my heart.. thank you very very very very much... and then I took off my cap to salute him..."Ace said.

"I teared and saluted to him too.." said Max.

Moment we reached home, we turned on the TV and then we took off our wet clothes and continued to have our eyes glued onto the TV while we took turns to bath..

By the time President Tony Tan has finished his speech, we were done bathing and we quickly turned on the CNA website live feed, left the house and made way to my sister's house.

On the road, we were listening to the speeches and I couldnt help but notice that there were really not many cars on the road except taxis and buses. Seems to us that everyone stayed at home to catch the funeral on TV.

We reached our destination and watched the eulogies while we had our lunch for by then, it was already 3 plus in the afternoon.

Finally, they announced that Lee Hsien Yang will be giving his eulogy.. that is it.. the last eulogy. This ceremony was coming to an end. The man gave a moving eulogy about his father and then, it was time to end the ceremony....

They put a wreath in front of LKY's picture.. one by the PM, one my the President.. and an officer blew the bugle....



The island wide sirens sounded.. it was time to end the ceremony with the Pledge and the singing of Majulah Singapura!

My tears were flowing, my lips were trembling.. I was barely able to make out the words of our National Pledge... I have never felt so strongly about the pledge as I said it..
We, the citizens of Singapore,
pledge ourselves as one united people,
regardless of race, language or religion,
to build a democratic society
based on justice and equality
so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and
progress for our nation.




By the time we started singing the National Anthem, I was a complete wreck...

And then... the whole ceremony ended.. our week of grieving ended... and there in my heart was now this gaping hole like something was missing...

But I reminded myself that he was not missing.. he is there in our hearts and in everywhere in Singapore when we turn around to look at all the beautiful scenery around us... he is there as we read and write, as we blog, as we complain too ;)



Once and again, for the very last time, #ThankyouLKY...

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