I Don't Like H

Ace is a very funny boy...

Some time back, he told me that he doesnt like L.. cos L always laughs at him. When I asked for more details, he will describe to be what happen. More often than not, I find that Ace is laughing WITH him and not AT him and L likes to disturb Ace... because Ace seems to have a good sense of humour and so he is just having some fun with him... But Ace doesnt see it that way.... in his very my way or the high way fashion.. he thinks because L is doing this or that.. L is trying to annoy him..

He admits that he gets so upset that sometimes he cannot concentrate on work...

Really??!! Seriously??! Get upset because someone likes you and wants to have fun with you? Hahahahaha...

And then leh, just now before bedtime while we were talking, he complained that he doesn't like H.. whom he is doing some project with. Apparently, H wanted to redo a part of the project that Ace has finished because he thinks it is not nice.. Ace feels very hurt that someone criticized his work. And he keeps saying this boy is annoying cos all he wants to do is to follow Ace around...

Strange boy right? When I was young, I only wanted to follow the "cool" kids whom I admired and liked! I am very sure H likes Ace and admires him.... But Ace insists that H is just being annoying and that "I don't want him to like me! He always copies me!"

I tried to explain to him about sharing ideas during group work and speaking up about what you think. Apparently, when he gets upset with H, he keeps quiet and comes home to complain to me... I told him that when I was working, I had people I didn't like too... I also complain about them.. but I wont let them stop me from getting the results I want and I will still try to talk to them no matter what so that I can get things done...  Sigh.. I wonder when will Ace learn how to team work not just with people he likes but also with people he doesn't like.

I remembered that when I was in secondary school, I had a project work and someone I did not like in the group. The whole group in fact did not like this person.. becos everytime we asked for a meeting, the person will have some excuse not to turn up and the person did not contribute to our project at all. In the end, after discussion, we went to tell him that he will have to pay for all the materials as part of his contribution since he didn't want to contribute effort.. ahahahahah :)

Anyway, I don't understand what is my son's problem.. people like him.. he upset.. people dun like him he also upset.. hahahahahaha...

Anyway, I also tried to explain to him how to persuade people to follow your thinking.. "First you must understand what they like and start from there..." I tell him.. and I related the story of how when he was young, he was insistent on picking his own clothes and refused to change out of them no matter what we did or said. ONce, we were going to some event and he do or die refused to wear a polo t with collar and wanted to wear his home clothes... And Max, knowing that he likes to be like daddy, told him that he can be like daddy and wear collar like daddy.. and he immediately agreed! Hahaha..

Maybe I should take out my Master Of Persuasion notes and teach him a trick or two :) hahaha...

PS: He is now friends with L but still prefers to avoid H.

PPS: 2 weeks later... Ace says that he has decided to heed my advice. He went to H and told him that he thinks that his cover for the book they are making for the school project is very nice and so they shouldnt waste time making another one. And so H says... "Yeah.. actually it is quite nice.." And so they agreed on that and Ace decided that he will still work with H to complete the project. But as I asked him to express his feelings, Ace told H, "If you want to work together with me, you cannot always boss me around. I get very upset when I am being bossed around for no good reason."

"So what happened leh.. what did he say?" I asked him. "He said ok lor..." Ace said.. "But after a while he forgot again and started to boss me around. I give him 3 chance.. first time he boss, I told him he is bossing me again.. second time.. i remind him again.. third time I told him, "Ok, if you want to boss around and do everything your way, then you might as well do the project by yourself. I am leaving." and so H asked him to come back and they worked at working on completing the project again. Maybe threatening to leave is not that great an idea.. BUT I am glad that Ace stood up for himself and at least he worked through this issue by himself and  in the end and managed to complete the project happily. For that, I told him he did a great job resolving this by himself.. his dad agreed too ;)

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