And Max was telling Ace how we have donated some money to help build a well in Myanmar through one of our friends who has been doing business there and actively helping the community there... (You can click on the link to find out what they have been doing and how you can help)
Max told Ace he donated money so that this village, can build a well and piping so that they can enjoy, clean, fresh water... because Ace has been wasting water.. hahahahaha...
We explained to Ace that there was this village with people who do not have clean water to use.. so they had to drink and use dirty water to bath and cook.. so this is why we are doing this. Our friend worked with the people there and worked out that he will need about $1000 sing dollars to build this well.. the money will be paid to the craftsmen there who will build it and so it is really a total win win situation for the village...
"Can I also donate?" Ace asked... and he said he wanted to donate $10 to this project to help.
So while we were talking about it, Ace told us suddenly said that he wanted his PAIL SAVINGS (it is his weekly savings that Max will match for him to save up for either things that he needed to buy and also things that he needed and also to donate) to NEPAL...
Reason being that he saw a clip in school about how the children had no food to eat and how the earthquake happened and how people dropped into the cracks within... and so he declared that he wants to donate all his pail savings into NEPAL..
My son is very ngiaow usually.. but when it comes to these things, he is very generous!:) hahaha..
When I asked him why he wanted to donate everything, he said he was very saddened by the clip he saw and he nearly cried. So he wanted to help.
I think perhaps now is a good time to have a talk with him about "helping people".
Donations to help are good.. but they are not ALWAYS helping those in need. So we explained to Ace that when we donate money, we usually are careful to find out more and know that:
- we do not usually donate to individuals but organizations who have track record to help
- we usually donate to causes that turn the cash into help in kind... so the bring things needed instead of just money... cos sometimes money just gets "eaten" up along the way and none go to the people who need it
You see, also, sometimes HELP puts the helper (the one extending help) in a top position and the helpee (the one being helped) in a bottom position. It is an unequal relationship which may result in the help not being helpful but hurtful...
There is no problem with friends helping friends.. where there is true giving and no sacrifice and no hidden agenda..
But sometimes when one donates money blindly, the helper intention may be unconscionably just to say "I am better than you, so i can help you.." or they are giving to make themselves feel better about something they feel bad about.. and in this cases, this sort of giving and the energy tat comes with the money they give will not create good results.
THe helpee may end up trapped in the position where they are dependant and always have to take to survive and they will never get out of that trap and their lives will never get better. So it is always good to donate to organization that not only help with the most immediate needs but also one that can help them build their different future to become self sufficient. Both the helper and the helpee will NOT feel good about this help rendered too.
We wanted to take part in the well project because maintenance of the well and building of the well all done by the local villagers.. we found out later also that it started with the village head's vision of one day having water for his villagers... so it is like a seed that grows and if they manage it well, will continue to grow on and help them and they can be self reliant after this...
Anyway, we told Ace he can help Nepal either through Red Cross or SSA (which donated to Mercy Relief)...
On a side note, Ace said that his friends were making fun of the country name, Nepal because it sounded like the word "nipple"...
"So what did you do when you heard that.. did you join in?" I asked him..
"Of course not lah... I just gave them a black face and stare at them... then they stopped... My black face is very effective one... because I am bigger..." Ace said..
"Huh? Where bigger?" I asked him..
"As in I am taller lah.. not tat i am fatter okie.." he quickly replied.
I told him he is very ah beng leh... like gangster like tat.. go and stare at pple when he not happy.. Don't one day stare at the wrong person and get beaten up...
And then he said "Ya, cos I got gangster friends..." And went on to happily tell us how K, his friend always speaks in hokkien and is very gangster and says things like "Kuah simi kuah..... jiak simi... zoh simi... simi sai... " and how his teacher X is also gangster when young and so has a tattoo... and says things like "you want to do simi sai also can" (really???!)
I told him next time K says tat to him, he can tell him, "Kuah li jin yan dao lah.." wahahaha...
I reminded him though that I think he is old enough to choose friends himself but I hope he remembers that i trust tat he will be good influence on his friends rather than his friends be bad influence on him cos shouting at people in hokkien to "look cool" (actually being ah beng is not really very cool wat) and staring at people is unfortunately not a good solution to most problems.
PS: The well has already been built. woohoo!:)
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