Ace's dad says Ace has BALLS OF STEEL..
I also think he has what my good friend, Chuck, calls "Balls as big as church bells..."
I have never seen anyone in my entire life nod so earnestly when asked if he wants to do well but work so hard at NOT WORKING for his exam!
Because the past few weeks has been somewhat of a roller coaster for me... My grandma was sick... And then she passed on and had to take care of the wake and funeral... And after that, I was recovering from all the exertion and also a little depressed as I had some form of stupid rash that made me itch all over at all times of the day for no good reason.. (which i eventually found out from the specialist that it is likely scabies... which were easy enough to rid of but means tonnes of washing to do at home..) and also had to bring Yeye to doctor as he is still losing alot of weight and making us worried as he has become super forgetful and even forgot that Ace is vegeterian..
So not really in the mood to nag at someone.. who rightly should be studying for his exams. 10 years old.. should be able to think and self study, right? WRONG! And I found out too late.
I wrote down all his exam stuff and then told him he should study this and that and prepare this and that.. cos I was worried that he dunno wat to do or how to prepare..
But leh, Mr Relac-lah just went on playing with his toys or watching tv whenever he had time. Whenever he has a chance to choose between work and play, he always chooses play...
The only time I really saw him studying hard was before H's birthday party which he wanted to attend.. cos i told him to attend, he needs to finish xx amount of stuff.
After that, he relac all the way. It is as if he thinks that all his paying attention in school and practice in just doing homework is enough. I dun think my son understands that most of his friends go for tuition and they would have alot more practice that he does.
I am fine even if his strategy is play play play and cheong all the way in the last few days.
Alas, his strategy is play play play and the last few days. Maybe hor, because he feels that he used this strategy and scored decent for his tests... so he thinks he can do the same for exam.
But also, I am very curious whether in Singapore, will you be able to do well if you just did what we do in Dubai. So I made a decision that I will not nag him to study. I tell him that it is his choice if he wants to study and he has to bear the consequences himself.
But that is easier said than done. Everytime I see him walking around the house with no real reason, reach for the remote control to watch tv, look at his phone to watch youtube... I am filed with frustrations.
I try to calm myself down and while I will not ask him to do anything but remind him he still has xx chapters not done, when we go to school and have one on one time, I just WANT to nag at him...
I tried explaining to him about goal setting... i explain him to him about chasing after rewards and doing one's best with all the 成功学 stuff I have learnt.... I gave him good reason to chase after that goal and to avoid "punishment"... but most of the time, he shrugs and say, "I don't care..." And really dun care wor!
With his don't care attitude, he did his first paper and came home to declare that English was very easy!
Then leh, was his math paper. He also din care and choose to watch tv, this and that... Though I am not too worried since he had lots of extra practice given by his teacher, he came home and told me.. "Mummy, I tell you something, you dun scold me ok.. I think I won't do well for math.. I cannot finish the last part story sums.. so i cried in school after the paper..."
My reply? "Of course cannot finish lah, whenever you do math, you always work so slowly.. and you never practice with a full paper so you are accurate but not fast enough... "
I set a target for him to score 90 and above for all and 65 for Chinese to get permission to buy his own phone..so now that he has missed out on 4 x 4 marks of story sums which he did not complete, means likely his math buang... So I asked him if he is going to give up..
"No, I am not going to give up.." he said resolutely...
And then that was it.. we never talked about it again. I dun want to stress him since he has two other papers..
But hor, I dunno where his resolution came from. One hour later, he still sitting there and slowly eating with the tv on.. I buay tahan and switched TV off and then he say he want to go and bath... and then he say he want to take a nap... I asked him he got time meh, tomm chinese and he hasnt finished studying for Chinese....
His all time BEST reply.. "Cannot meh?" And he looked really shocked at the suggestion that he shouldnt take a nap. It was not like he was retorting.. but he was really shocked at the idea that there is another strategy called not napping and just studying..
I really peng san!
One and a half hours after he told me about his math test buang since he returned home, I found him reading Dairy of a Wimpy Kid on my bed while shaking his leg though he said he wanted to take a nap...
I only have one comment for that... "Well done!" My friends tell me to chill and say resting is so they can travel furthur wor...
Finally, 10 min later, he came out and asked for a hug, I asked him hug for what since he doenst need energy to study now.. he says I want to study now...
And then we hugged...
And he spent the next 15 min walking around the house for dunno wat reason before he FINALLY sat down to "study".
At his bed time, he did not manage to finish all the things he had to do but becos it is too late, he just go go bed lor.
Next morning when I walked to school with him, I couldnt help but want to nag at him again.
On one hand, I pity him lor. But I really tried hard not to interfere but I look at his attitude i really buay tahan. I told him he has two papers left and he can make a decision to give his all now so tat at least he dun regret for the two papers. And then as for the rest... i guess have to leave it to Gohonzon...
The next day, he had guitar lessons so I went to pick him after school. HIs friends tagged along when we went to Mac Donald for lunch and they baotoh him and told me that he recieved his math paper already.
According to Ace, when he got his paper, he only scored 60+... and then he was quite sad. His math teacher told him and a few other people who were in the high math ability group that he is very disappointed with them as they all scored quite low... (Apparently Mr H was so sad tat he said he went JB to eat till 3.30am then go home.. wahahaha)
But his math teacher tried to help him and go through his paper to help him find extra points so that he can boost his results.
So in the end, he scored 70 or so... He says cannot tell me his actual result because he promised his teacher cannot tell yet..
His friend T also scored 70+ and said he is going to get caned by his mum as she expected 90 and above. He asked me.. "You not going to cane Ace?"
"No lah, I didn't like being caned when I was young. Anyway, it is his exam, he bear his own consequences.." I told T.
"So good.." T said.
Ace looked quite pleased because I think he realizes how lucky he is... and also I think he is glad his friends think his mom is cool!:) wahahaha
I am amazed his two friends who tagged along wanted to stay on with us even though there is an exam the next day. Finally, one of them got a call to go home and I made the other one study with Ace for their science exam.. wahahaha.. I am afterall still a parent...
Anyway, I will just LUNZ... till end of exams.. we shall see if really zoh boh and relac really still means good results! hahaha...
PS: When I was buying him dinner after his guitar lesson, I asked Ace whether he is disappointed with his math results... "I was a little sad when I saw my results but now I am ok.. Because I still have one more paper to come and I am going to push all the way..."
Indeed... have to think positive that his short term memory at all failures will help him PUSH ON ALL THE WAY.. hahaha:)
I told Max about this and his response was that at least he still feels sad... which is a good sign... Very Ah Q... I know...
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