Here are some pictures I took from the Noticeboard in Ace's school.. that's them trying to decorate the indian lady they preparing to use to decorate the school for national day..
Anyway, Ace told me the other day that he does not have any friends and the reason? "My friends say they don't want to be my friends if I do not do naughty things... they don't want to be my friend if I am a good boy..."
Hahaha.. I expected myself to face this sort of issue when Ace reaches his teens but seems like this problem really came earlier than I expected.
The interesting thing is that when I asked him furthur, it seems that the people who do not want to be his friends are the people he is closest to like his best friends Kaylen and Dylan. And I was told that Kaylen is a very quiet boy and i have seen them and found them to be quite well behaved.. active... but nevertheless well behaved.. and also, when I see him interact with his friends, I do not think he has a problem making friends...
But still, I gave talked to him about the power of CHOICE. I told him that he is free to choose to be a good boy or a bad boy. Sometimes when he choose to do the best thing at the best time, he will be able to eventually get the understanding of his friends and they would also do the best thing with him do.. he would be able to 'influence" them and win them as friends...
I asked him which is better or more important to him.. having friends or doing the best thing at the best time... if he chose having friends and doing naughty or bad things, he will always know in his heart that he did not do the best thing and would feel guilt.. which will follow him and he will always feel bad about it... but if he chose to do the best thing... the best things would happen to him... and there is a chance, his friends will come back to him.. if not, he will always make new friends and attract new friends who like to do the best thing like him..
And then after a while, it seemed this is resolved and for the next two weeks, he started to talk about his friends and I asked him if he has many friends and he said, "Yes!" And when i asked him why he said he had no friends previously, he said, "Wo kai wan xiao de lah.. I bluff you one..."
So I told him that I ask this because I care about him and he cannot kai wan xiao about this because when I told Daddy, Daddy was really sad to hear he has got no friends because daddy was so worried for him..
And then 2 weeks later, he started telling me that nobody wants to be his friends again. "So what did you do?" "I cried.."
"And what happened? Did anyone come and help you?" "Ya, christine came and help me and be my friend.."
So I told him that it is during these times that we know who our true friends are... and I reminded him that one good turn deserves another. You see, Christine is a new addition to his class and when she first arrived, she was always crying and Ace would always say he doesn't want to be her friend.. we gave him a talk about the power of choice + the importance of empathy and helping other people and so, after that, Ace went back and chose to be her friend even when she cried...
I guess that is probably why she returned the favour..
Anyway, I also took this chance to explain to Ace that when people attack us or say things like "I don't want to be your friend", all they are really doing is that they are asking us for our help. And the best way we can help someone like that is to just send them love in our heart...
Well, I hope he remembers this very simple advice when he is told "I don't want to be your friend..." It is actually not easy to understand this easy advice and even more difficult to put it into practice.. even i have problem remembering to do that when I am faced with people like tat... (and my life karma is I meet alot of pple like tat)... I do hope Ace dun have to go through the pain i went through when I met with such friends...
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