I just had an interesting discussion with my sister the other day. Just how do we discipline our children when our parents or grandparents are around?
It started off with my sister telling me about how she marvels at how Ace is able to take the constant nagging from Zeng Popo. You see, since Zeng Popo stopped working and is staying at home, she has been very very free.. since she fell and broke her hip bone, there is limited housework she can do and she will be so bored, she will actually hang clothes to dry, bring them in, take down those that are dry and hang the rest out again one more time to dry instead of waiting for all to dry before bringing them all in together...
Maybe she is really too bored.. so her attention is all on Ace Chua... If he climbed on the sofa, she would nag him to come down, if he ran, she would nag him to stop, if he walked, she would nag him to wash his feet... etc...
In my sister's words, no matter what Ace did, he would get nagged at... "If I were him, I would go crazy.. seems like everything I do is not right like that... I think that is why Ace is more rebellious now.. because since everything you do... no matter how you do it, you get nagged at, you might as well anyhow do..."
That being said, Zeng Popo also explains to Ace the reason behind the nagging one. For example, if she asks himt come down from jumping up and down on the sofa, she will explain to him it is because she is afraid he will hurt himself.
It is little wonder Ace once asked me, "Mummy, why does Zeng Popo always scold me?" So i had t o explain to him that she was trying to show her concern for him because she was afraid he will do the wrong things or that he would be hurt.
The irony of it is that if I ignore him and let him do his own thing, she will nag him.. BUT if I scold him or nag at him, she will tell me, "Ok lah, dun scold him lah, ace is a good boy lah..."
Sometimes also, her nagging will get on my ears and because i cannot ask her to stop, I can only scold Ace and ask him to keep still (so that he doesnt get nagged at and my ears will get some peace) and when that happens, Zeng Popo will pat me and say, "NEvermind lah.. it's ok lah.. don't get angry at him lah.. he is a good boy lah.." which makes me even angrier.. because I scolded at him because she started it FIRST. GRRRRRR...
If i ask Ace to do some things and ask him to do certain things like feeding himself. Halfway, I will see her feeding him and I will tell Ace he cannot get his promised reward because Zeng Popo is feeding him and she will say, "No lah, not his fault, I wanted to feed him.."
And leh, not only Zeng Popo is like tat.. gong gong is alot of time like tat too..
So just how do you discipline your kid when your parents and grandparents are around is really an art...
I can't complain about them. I can't scold them and sometimes I cannot stop them..
Thank goodness my father and grandma are easy going people.. so sometimes I let it pass and then a few days later, when we are alone and I am in a peaceful mood, I will explain to them how that put me in a spot and why I wanted Ace to do that and why if they interfered, i cannot achieve the goal that i wanted and why I had set that goal for Ace...
And they will tend to watch it a little...
But leh, few days later, they will forget and start to love their grandson too much again.. HAHAHAHAHA...
Maybe the best strategy is to give birth to one more to take their attention off Ace a little.. HAHAHA...
As for the non stop nagging...there is really no way to stop it.. i can only grin and bear with it and remind myself it is just my grandma's way of expressing her love and reminding myself to appreciate it...
PS: My mother is super duper brave lor.. one day when she was alone with zeng popo, she told zeng popo not to nag at ace and explained tat it might have adverse effect on her darling great grandson.. and Zeng Popo got angry... face very black for a whole day BUT she did stop nagging FOR ONE DAY.. and after tat.. she is back with a vengeance.. even to the effect of purposely irritating Ace. Hai....
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