Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Goodbye Is The Hardest Thing To Do




That's Ace's HAPPY FACE and Ace was anything but happy when he was told his dad will be going back soon.

Some two days before max's departure while we were alone, I told Ace that daddy would be going back to Dubai in another two day's time. At that time, he did not really register a huge response, he merely asked me, "Why so fast? Aiyoh, mummy, I am so sad that daddy is going back to dubai soon..." and he continued to play with his toy.

So I was still thinking he probably will not be crying much or anything when his dad left and I was so wrong.

Apparently, (based on what shushu and Ace told me later) when Ace went to see his daddy off, just before his dad went into departure hall, he hugged his dad and cried one round on his shoulder.. I bet Max must have been crying then...

And his dad left and he was crying again and when he finally stopped, Shushu carried him and told him, "Ok ah, you finished crying already right.. so no more crying later ok?"

And then when they reached the car, Ace sat inside the car and thought of his dad and started crying again.. and so Shushu started the engine and switched on the aircon and let Ace cry to his heart content.

And then when Ace finally finished crying, then Shushu felt safe enough to start driving and then he sent him home and on the way home, Shushu told Ace, "No more crying ah.." And Ace said OK and really did not cry anymore on the ride home.

When he reached our house and I opened the door and when Ace saw me, he started sobbing uncontrollably again, "Mummy... i want daddy.. I want daddy.. daddy go dubai.. I love daddy so much.. I miss daddy so much..." and Ace cried and cried and cried non stop.... bringing tears to my eyes...

Just when he was about to finish sobbing, he would see the Ben 10 lighted stick that his daddy bought for him and he would start to miss his daddy again and he started sobbing uncontrollably again...

And then after another 4 minutes or so.. the sobbing finally quietened down and all the comforting words tat me and ah yee were telling him like "we are going to dubai to meet daddy soon" seemed to work.. and then he told me, "Mummy, daddy gave me money.."

He put his hands into his pocket and took out a few coins... and then he clenched it in his fist tightly and put both his hands near his heart and cried out, "Daddy!" and he started crying again...

So I tried to keep all the coins and the Ben 10 lightstick so that he wouldn't see them.. but he clenched to the coin tightly and refused to let me take them. "I keep properly for you in my bag.. tomorrow you can get it from me again... i will protect it for you..." I assured him... and he refused and told me, "But i want to be near daddy and i want to be feel him..." and clutched the toys even tighter...

"TOmorrow you can take it out again lor, I keep for you first lah.." and I tried to persuade him to pass me the coins and he finally agreed...

Luckily there was some sort of policeman show on TV (I think it was Jackie chan's New Police Story) and so I tried to distract him by asking him to watch the show and he finally quieten down. But the show ended in like 20 min and I told him it was time to sleep...

Once in the room, he started to cry again and he kept repeating to me, "I really love daddy very much, I really miss daddy.. i don't want daddy to go dubai..."

I would quieten him down and he would get started all over again..

Till 1am, he was still crying, I figured he might have really been reflecting the pain in Max's heart since it was around the time that Max's flight took off...

And when he finally quieten down a little, Ace asked me why daddy couldnt work in Singapore and had to work in Dubai.. i told him that when daddy got the job, he was promised a short training in dubai and afterward, a job back in singapore... but daddy's boss lied to him and have a change of plans and so daddy cannot come back to singapore for good...

And Ace told me.."Daddy lao ban is a bad person... when i become a policeman when I grow up, i will be policeman in dubai and I will catch daddy lao ban... i am so angry.. why did he pian daddy?!"

And then he started crying again and I told him, "Aiyoh, Ace, you have been crying the whole night already..."

"Yeah, I really love daddy and I really miss him very much because daddy not here, i so poor, no one to play with me..."

"But you already cried for one whole night.. it is time to sleep already.. it is already very late at night already.." I explained..

"Okie lor, then I sleep lor.. tomorrow then i cry..." he said and with that, it was like someone turned off a switch inside him and he just fell asleep like that...

The next day when he woke up and saw my mother, he went to hug her and started crying again... and then he repeated again.. " I love daddy very much.. i miss daddy so much..."

And when he quieten down, I asked him why he is still crying... he said, "Yesterday I already said I will cry today mah.."

*faintz*

And throughout the day, every now and then, he would suddenly think of his dad and start to rub his eyes and we would quickly distract him with food or a joke...

Mid afternoon, he asked me to take out the kite that daddy bought for him and he asked me if I knew why daddy bought a kite.. "Because daddy and me love to fly kite. We saw other people flying kite and we also like to fly kite, so daddy bought this kite for me..." And he wanted to fly the kite inside the house.. "I know how to fly the kite, daddy taught me already.." he insisted.. despite me explaining that Waipo's 4 room flat is not tall or big enough to fly a kite...

And then when we were on our way to his swimming class, he repeated again to me that his misssed his dad very much and that he loved daddy very much... I told him I know because he already told me many times...

When we reached the pool, his classmates and teacher were not there yet and so he went to the pool and sat by the pool for a long long time... he appraoched no one to play with them and no one appraoched him as well.. and finally he decided to go into the pool.. once into the pool, he started to scrunch up his face and I asked him why.. and he started to rub his eyes...

"I miss daddy.. no one play with me.. I want to play with daddy in the swimming pool.." so i asked him to come out of the pool and put a towel around him and hugged him.. and then i had to distract him by playing with him till his teacher arrived.

Anyway, by evening time, he was much better and when he saw me typing away on my phone, he asked me who i was talking to and I told him i was smsing daddy... "Can you tell daddy what I say also?" he asked me..

"Ok, what do you want me to tell daddy.."

"Just tell him everything I say when i was crying..." he replied..

Anyway, this morning when he was on his way to school, he told me, "Mummy, I am so poor.. because daddy is not here.. no people play with me.." I asked him what about me, gong gong, ah yee, net net..."We are not people meh?"

"Yeah, you are people.. BUT I still want daddy to play with me mah... "

Hai, looks like this countdown will be a tough one....

Anyway, max told me that saying goodbye this time is much harder for him too.. when he left ECP with Ace, he was alreayd crying... I guess being away for 4 mths and coming back made him realize how much of Ace's growing up he missed. And Ace being close to him... made it very difficult for max to go away again... at least I can talk to him via email or sms but playing with Ace is something he cannot do on the internet...

Anyway, it will not be long before we meet again.. this time round, we only have two mths to countdown to before we will meet again.. now tat i have done a 4 mth stint, I guess 2 months should be easy... especially when i have lots to do in the coming two mths:)

Jia you, Angel! Jia you, Ace! Jia you, Max!

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